Secret

Forty One

idk if i said this before but this book takes place in 2016

and harry is 18 in this book

so, harry wasn't born in 1994 like in real life

just wanna throw that out there :)

{edited}

41

Harry POV

I sit down on the bed of green, fluffy grass and huff. I place the flowers next to the tomb stone and pick at my nails.

"Hey Lily." I sigh. "Um, I wanted to stop by and say Happy Birthday to you." I speak. "18 is pretty old and I know you would've hated being 18 because you always said being a kid is more fun than being an adult. Less responsibilities and all." I smile to myself.

"Anyways, I hope you understand why I haven't been coming to talk to you every week. I do try to come say hello to you though every month. You deserve to have alive flowers beside you."

"Speaking of flowers, they ran out of lilies at your favourite flower place, for some reason. So, I had to settle on roses. Next time I come, I'll bring lilies though, I know that you always liked them."

Lilian Cranston
Loving daughter, and friend.
1998-2013

"I still can't believe it's been three years since you've been gone." I run my hand through my hair. "I'm sorry I turned out like crap after you passed. I turned into someone you always hated. I'm trying though, to be better. You have no idea how much I regret the choices I made these past couple years.

But uh, I'm trying. I still tend to mess up things with May though. As always I fuck up. Sorry for my swear, I know you hate hearing them. You're usually good with this stuff, so I don't know who to turn to for good advice. Sadie will just say have sex with her, or something. But that isn't a resolution to me being a dic--penis. Plus, with me trying to be better, uh I'm not doing that with May. I hope you understand what that means, because I feel like it would be awkward if I said it." I pause.

"It sucks that you're no longer here. I miss you a lot. I think about you a lot, too. I hope you know that I haven't forgotten about you because I don't see you every week or because I'm with someone else.

I think you'd like her. She's really nice and caring. And everything I don't deserve..." I sigh. "It just sucks because I always mess up with her. Like last week I said something stupid because I didn't think it through and she interpreted wrong which was my fault because I wasn't clear." I huff. "Anyways, you already know I'm a fuck up if you've been watching anything I've been doing these past couple of years. I'm just really trying, like really trying to be better for May. That's her name, if you didn't know. I don't know, I should just talk less."

My phone beeps with a text from my Mom telling me dinner is ready in 10.

"I gotta go, my Mom gets mad when I don't come to dinner. I love you, and miss you always. I hope you're doing well up there, and all. I bet now you would've still be beautiful as always. Even now, I bet you're still stunning. Happy birthday Lily." I fix the flowers when I'm done talking and stand up.

I blink a few times to push back my tears, then I always away.

~

"Hey honey." My Mom's voice chirps. I smile gently.

"Hi." I murmur.

"Where were you?" She hands me the salad to put on the table. I do. "Also, your dad's friends are joining us."