Midnight Thoughts

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Tonight I lay on the couch in the living room, it is right in front of the door to enter the house. I told Mark I couldn't sleep in the room Shane and I shared, and he understood. Mark's muscular body lies in an armchair next to me and he seems sound asleep from the steady occurrence of his snores. I pull my blanket higher up my body to hide my face and close my eyes into. I try to steady my breathing from my previous hyperventilating crying that had awoken Mark. I roll over on the couch since my position suddenly seems too uncomfortable to bear.
"You okay?" Mark whispers to me with a concerned voice. I smile softly and glance at the chair where he lies his body.
"I just can't sleep." I reply with a small chuckle that is forced.
"When we first met, you would be never sleep unless you were with Jack. I want you to know I'm here if that's what helps you." Mark tells me with sincerity in his voice, which makes me smile to myself.
"Thank you... I'm missing a lot of people tonight I guess." I explain, trying to hold back tears. Mark sighs softly and I can see his silhouette nodding.
"Yeah, me too. Even if you don't remember it, I was close with Shane and Jack too." He responds. I nod and lean into the side of the couch.
"I'm sorry that I don't remember, I must be such a pain." I chuckle while still laying on the couch and pulling my legs higher close to my stomach.
"No... You're not, actually you've been strong even with everything that's happened. It takes time, and you'll get through it just fine I'm sure." He replies, causing a faint blush to appear on my cheeks. I sit up slightly on the couch and lean my arms against the arm of it.
"You sure are confident for me." I chuckle softly while giving a small tilt of my head. "Why is that?" I ask curiously.
"I've known you for a long time... No matter how far you fall, you always get up." I can see his face through the darkness and a smile placed on it.
"Well..." I chuckle softly and nod to myself. "You know me well it seems." I smile and rest my head down on the couch arm.
"I guess you don't remember... We were involved for a while, we got close." He smiles and softly taps his finger on his knee.
"What happened?" I ask curiously. "Unless it ended badly, then I don't want to know." I chuckle softy while still looking at the burnett man.
"No, you chose Shane over Jack and me both. It wasn't a bad thing, it was your choice." Mark explains while he turns his head to look back at me.
"Wait... Was I with Jack and you at the same time?" I ask, releasing a small chuckle, which Mark answers with a nod.
"You and me got trapped for a few weeks, and though we were going to die." Mark explains while turning his head away from me. "So... When we got out, you were with Jack, but you were pregnant with my child. We named her Marissa, but you got shot and she passed away." Mark sighs heavily while he keeps his head turned away from me.
"Wow... I had a pretty eventful life." I whisper softly while laying my head over my arms.
"You did." He responds, and I see his smile fade. "It really is a shame you don't remember." He adds while looking back.
"I remember bits I think. There's parts in between that seem to be blanks in the middle of the story though. It's almost like I was asleep during half my life." I respond while trying to think about memories, even ones from my childhood are foggy.
"I'm sorry, Josh really fucked you up." Mark states while shaking his head softly. "It's crazy that stuff can actually happen." He adds while turning his body towards me. I nod slowly and slide my head back down to lay on the actual couch again.
"I know, which only means we should get some sleep. Since, there is one thing I remember clearly, and it's that I own the Main District. Running that will be a lot of work, and Rebecca told me she would schedule Shane's funeral for me. Liam's will be tomorrow, and Shane's the day after." I explain, twiddling my fingers together to keep from thinking too hard about my statements.
"Are we really doing that so soon?" Mark questions me, a hint of shock in his voice.
"Keeping his body around won't change it." I whisper while slightly shaking my head.
"The sooner, the better, then?" Mark asks me again.
"I guess. The less I see him, the less I have to think about it. Then I can work with Tim to get Josh killed for his crimes, Allan too." I respond with a soft kid against the couch.
"That sounds like a more important matter, since Allan still has his power." Mark explains while I hear his body move around in his chair.
"It is important, which is why Shane would want me to handle it for everyone else. One less menace on the streets and in power, that is very important and necessary right now. We can't have more of our people killed, handling it is almost impossible. I'll also have to talk to Zachary about a few court cases to be put there." I mutter my last sentence and glance up at Mark to see his head laying comfortably at the back on his chair.
"Why do you have to talk to him? What cases do we have?" Mark asks me in return.
"Well, Allan's for one, Josh's, whatever happens to Ian's brother Kyle. If he's staying in a compound he will also be testifies for his crimes, since he helped Ian take over Main District." I explain while moving my head so it lays on my forearm.
"Fair enough. When will you send them in?" He asks curiously, sounding more tired this time.
"Right away in the morning, we have been mourning for too long already. We can't let them think we've gone sift already." I reply with a yawn that I have needed to help my brain to be put to rest so I may sleep.

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