Insanity (Sequel To Madness)

Agony

~*1 Week Later*~

We are finally home, I missed it here, but that's just what I said. I didn't really care, I just knew that I could be alone here. I tried to contact Jack, to find out if he had a part in my daughter's death as well. But he's been missing for a while now. Apparently, when I was shot he ran after the shooter and hasn't come back yet. Although, I'm sure when he does come back he'll have their head. He'll bring the head of the man who really killed my child.
"Mrs. Lancaster, would you like me to do anything? Can I help you in any way?" Elise questions me. Shane sent her for me, and she's been following me around ever since I got back. Probably because I refuse to see him or Mark for that matter. Until I have someone else to blame, I'm going to hate them and blame them for the death of my child. I sit in the windowsill of my old home, curled up in a blanket. A box of tissues sits next to me, but I haven't used any of them. Bob just put them there to try to help me, but nothing can help me right now. I've just had my child ripped from my stomach, nothing can help me now. Nothing but killing whoever did this to me. Maddie visited me yesterday, she was surprised I was still in my wedding gown. I suppose I just haven't wanted to. I haven't been in the spirit as they say. I don't see the point, this was the last thing I wore that both me and Marisa wore. This dress actually made me feel beautiful, and now I feel almost dead inside... But sadly I'm not really dead. At this point I don't care. I have nothing left. My husband killed my child, my lover ran off on a murdering spree and my Marisa... Is gone now, and I can never get her back. I can never get her back no matter how hard I try, and that's the thought that really tears me up inside.
"Mrs. Lancaster? Are you alright?" Elise questions me again. She really is annoying, I wish Maddie was doing this instead. At least she knows me, and she knows that I don't open up to strangers.
"I'm not alright actually... I've had too much happen..." I mumble to reply to her this time. Footsteps enter the room, probably just Wade getting a snack or something. Bob is still at work and Maddie said she's doing someting-or-other with Shane, probably some business if it's him she's talking to. I honestly don't care. Honestly, she can do whatever she wants with him, I just don't care anymore.
"Hey kiddo, you should eat something. You haven't eaten in like three days." Wade says from behind me. I don't waste my time turning to face him, I just lean against the window. It's cold outside, snow is starting to fall, how interesting.
"Yes, you should eat Miss." Elise agrees in that annoying, upbeat voice of hers.
"I don't want to eat. I just want to be left alone." I grumble back to her, pulling my blanket up more do it goes over my head as well as my back and arms.
"Hey, can I have a minute alone with her?" Wade questions, probably talking to Elise. I hear her high pitched 'mhmm' and her soft footsteps walk away. I feel a hand come to my shoulder and I don't move an inch.
"What?" I groan at him in annoyance. I still stare out the window, watching all snowflakes as they fall.
"I know you've had a rough past week, but you're going to have to get over it eventually." Wade says as he sits on the windowsill next to me. I look away from him and move slightly to get away.
"I don't need anything. I'm fine on my own..." I mumble in response, feeling a knot begin to form in my stomach.
"But are you?" Wade questions me. I knew he would ask that.
"I'm fine Wade. Just leave me alone, everyone else does." I snap at him, spinning my head around to face him. Wade stares at me with sadness in his eyes.
"They did it to keep you alive Violet. Mark cried for days, just worried about you both. You don't know how much it tore him up. He loves you, Violet. You know he does, and Shane does too. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't." Wade says, staring into my eyes intensely. I move my eyes to look at the sidewalk outside with small snowflakes coating it.
"They took everything I had. She was supposed to be mine, forever and ever. She was my little girl, and they took her away from me... They took her, you don't understand Wade... You don't know how empty and broken I feel without her. You don't know how much pain they inflicted on me with this... I can't just forgive them for what they've done. I'll only forgive them when Jack comes back with the man who did this. I'll only be happy again when the man who shot me is dead." I spit out my words, trying to show anger rather than the agony that has built up inside me.
"That's not a good mindset to have Violet. You need to look at what they really did to you, they saved you." Wade says, slight anger rising in his voice.
"No Wade, I have nothing now. They took the only thing I had left, and now I'm broken. They didn't save me, they ruined me." I say in a slightly raised tone with my anger beginning to bubble inside me.
"How can you be so stubborn? They share your life! How don't you understand that?" Wade questions me in a snappy and annoyed tone.
"Because you don't understand the pain of being a mother and losing your child! You'll never know what it's like to have your whole world collapse in front of you! No one knows what I feel right now, because it hurts so bad. I can't even move, because if I do, I feel all the pain come back to me. It all just floods me and I'm drowning right now. It would be mercy if I died, so it leaves me there, sinking in the water, drowning on my own thoughts, drowning in the memories of what they did. I have a hole in my body, and it's too big to fix, and too small to kill me. I wish you all let me die with her, because then I wouldn't have to feel the way I do. That's what you don't understand Wade. Now, go away and leave me alone! I don't want to drown you too..." I say as I start to cry again. I bury my face in my arms and feel my voice cracking out my sounds of agony to the world. Wade wraps his arms around me and sighs heavily.
"You're right. I don't understand, I've never had the drowning feeling, but that doesn't mean that I can't help you to swim again." Wade whispers as he kissed the top of my head soothingly.