Insanity (Sequel To Madness)

Speech

I wipe my eyes one last time before I walk into the meeting room with my arms crossed over my chest. I can hear the conversation outside the room, it seems like any regular crowd would have. However, my presence in the room seems to make a sudden hush go over the room. Everyone goes silent and stares at the new woman entering the room, the new owner of all their districts. I can feel their eyes moving over me while I make my way to the front of the room with Tim sighing behind me. I sniffle one last time, calming from my previous crying to make a stand, like I have to do now. I have to be strong. I have to be brave. I have to run things just like Shane would. I just have to. I wipe my nose and run my finger under my eye to rid it of tears, which probably is making my make up situation much worse. Although, I'm not sure how many of these men will be judging me on my looks anymore, since they all know who I am. And they all know that I'm taking the death of my husband harder than all of them.
"Hello." I start in a shaky voice which I quickly try to correct.
"Gentlemen, I..." I pause while.I wipe my eye again because of more tears than threaten to pour.
"I know we all suffered a great loss today." I comment, trying to bring all my thoughts together. Focus, Violet. I nod to myself with that thought and take in a deep breath.
"And I want to lead in my husband's place, like he wanted. He was smart, so he must've saw some type of leadership in me." I smile at the idea and nod again, avoiding the action of looking up at the men in the room and focusing on the floor and my fingertips.
"I want to continue his work and his goal of perfecting all the districts. He really was a perfectionist, looking back. I remember..." I chuckle softly under my breath, but it sounds so loud in this quiet room.
"I remember once he and I went on a trip and his suitcase was perfectly organized. It looked just like the inside of his dresser. He had his ties folded, and his button up shirts that I help him with in the mornings... And all those extra things he'd wear for his special occasions. He once wore a bowtie because I thought it would look cute." I smile to myself, biting my lip so hard I can feel small amounts of blood start to drip from it.
"Shane Lancaster... There are so many words to describe him in my eyes. But, one thing he would want me to call him, is the Owner of Business. Because that is what he was, the owner of everything and everyone who was in his field of work. His word was final, and strong, and powerful. I only hope I can act like that, with the sauveness, the emotionlessness, the way he was so careful with what words he used. He was just so strong, because he knew what it was like to be weak." I explain while gripping my elbows strongly with both hands.
"That's all I have to say about him right now. There's too many thoughts in my head, and I need time to go through them before I say anything else." I comment, still looking down while I attempt leaving the room, and Tim offering to escort me out.
"What will happen to all the districts once you gain power? All of the trade funds, the documents, the meeting that all Shane organized, will you do it all?" A raspy voice calls from the crowd of men. I look up, with tears still brimming my eyes and I laugh at his stupidity.
"My husband died today. I'm not very worried about your funds, or meetings, or trades right now." I spit back my words like a cobra spits venom into its victims. My teeth clenched and my jaw strong in the pure anger I feel about this man's comment towards me.
"Mr. Springer, please allow Mrs. Lancaster time to adjust to her position before you start asking bold questions like that." Kevin snaps at the raspy voiced man who had spoken out against me.
"I only believe my points are valid concerns for all districts, perhaps the reason that District 13 has been doing so poorly is because its leader hasn't been listening as well as he should, Mr. Brooke." Mr. Springer replies while having his raspy voice drag out extremely.
"I own District 13, Richard, and it is doing just fine. Although, I think Shane should have taken my advice to shut down a few districts, including 9." Kevin replies, his bushy eyebrows getting furrowed in annoyance.
"Gentlemen, please. Let's not act like children fighting on the playground and speak to one another like real adults here." Tim suggests while rolling his eyes at the rest of them.
"Of course, and Mrs. Lancaster, you have my deepest condolences for your husband. He truly was the best man in the room for every meeting." Kevin tells me with a sincere tone and a nod following it. I nod back, showing that I was listening.
"Well, thank you for that." I smile softly, but it quickly fades. "I still need some time to myself before coming back to this. If you will excuse me." I once again try to force on a smile, but it still doesn't seem to stick. Tim gently leads me out of the room and closes the door behind me. Before he does, he gives me a nod as if to say that he would help deal with the other district owners for me. I walk away and cross my arms over my chest just like I had before while I go back to the hospital to go get Mark and Rebecca so we can go home. Well, I don't really care where we go as long as it is far away from here.