Insanity (Sequel To Madness)

Please Tell Me

I see Shane walk out of the room, almost with tears in his eyes, and a few seconds later Mark does as well, but he looks more flustered. I casually walk down the hallway and tug on Mark's sleeve to turn him around.
"Oh, hey." He says, putting on a smile for me.
"What happened in there?" I ask in a whisper.
"I convinced him to stay." Mark replies, which causes shock to go through me and my eyes to widen.
"How?" I ask again, more urgently this time.
"It doesn't matter. I just reminded him of a few things, and he decided to stay." Mark tells me while his fingers fiddle with my own that lay by my sides.
"What did you remind him?" I ask, even more confused now.
"Violet... I don't want to remind you..." Mark whispers as he plants a small kiss on my forehead.
"I want to know, Mark. I'm not a child and I can handle whatever you told him." I hiss at him and shake my hand away.
"I just don't want you to hurt because of this, can we just drop it?" Mark asks me in his comforting voice that he always uses to calm me down.
"Mark... You didn't..." I mumble as I back away from him slowly suddenly realizing what he's talking about.
"Violet, I just reminded him, I didn't do anything bad." Mark states as he begins following after me.
"You did not tell my husband about my old boyfriend.... Please just tell me that you didn't do that. That is the one thing I will never talk to him about, not Shane. He doesn't need to feel the pain I have everyday, he doesn't need to know about my suffering, and nightmares, or any of it. Please tell me that you didn't push all of your pity onto him." I beg him while I grab my arms to try to hold myself like Jack always used to, as if it would hold me together now. 
"Violet, he is your husband and he deserves to know how you feel so that he can help you. You need help sometimes Violet, and he can't help you if you don't let him." Mark states.
"This is why I never tell you what I think, because it just pisses me off. I'd rather just talk to Wade, because at least he doesn't go making decisions for me and he actually helps." I cry as I run away from Mark down the hallway. I push open the door to Wade's room and slam it closed behind me. 
"Whoa, a little warning next time?" Wade chuckles as he stands up from his bed that sits in the corner of the room. I run my fingers through my hair, trying to calm myself and end up falling onto the floor and sitting up to try and pull myself together.
"What happened, kid? You don't look so good." Wade says as he kneels in front of me to meet my gaze.
"Mark told Shane about my pain, and he doesn't need to know about that... I mean, of course I feel like I'm dying inside, but I don't want to kill everyone else around me. And I honestly think that the only reason Mark did this was because he hurts too, and he likes everyone to know when he feels like shit, but I don't... And he knows I don't, and it just ends up pissing me off." I explain while I latch my hands together and close my eyes tightly. 
"I know, kid. You've had a rough life... but so has Mark. I don't think he told Shane to give himself attention, he did it for you. He probably thought that you needed more help than just sitting with Mark every day. And you do. You've had this bad habit of ignoring people when you need them the most, and I think that's why he told Shane." Wade tells me. I nod slowly and let my arms fall from my hair and to my sides.
"He just makes me so mad, and I don't know why. Most of the time he isn't even doing anything wrong. Actually, I do it with everyone. They do anything, and I snap. What's wrong with me... I don't even know anymore..." I mumble. Wade shakes his head and sighs heavily.
"I think I know why you're mad at people, and it isn't anything wrong with you." Wade says, signing again.
"What is it?" I ask, sitting up more against the wall.
"You're mad that no one can be you're Jack, and that's nothing wrong with you. He did have a way with calming you down, and telling you what was right and what was wrong. And now... You're brain automatically makes you want that again, a guidance, a support that he gave you. But you can't find it, and it makes you mad." Wade says. Tears fall down my face just at the thought of Jack.
"I just miss him so much..." I sob as I cover my face with my hands and begin shaking my head.
"I know... I do too, so does Bob, and so does Mark. He was a great guy, and he treated you like a queen. But we all have to find a way to live with the fact that's he's not here. You just have to find your way, Violet." Wade tells me. I pull my hands away from my face and take in deep breathes.
"He told me I have to move on, but I can't. He also told me he'd wait, and I don't want him to wait long..." I mumble undery breath.
"What?" Wade asks. I look up at him and notice small tears sliding down his cheeks, and he wipes them away and puts on a smile.
"Jack was in a dream I had, and he told me he was going to wait for me... And when I saw him again he wanted to hear about my life... He kissed me and I woke up screaming..." I tell him and the begin shaking my head.
"But that couldn't be real..." I whisper to myself. Wades eyes widen as he wipes more tears under his eyes.
"Wait, he told you that he'd be waiting." Wade asks for clarification, which I reply to with a nod.
"Right before the wedding, Jack told me that he would be waiting for you, for your turn at a happy life together." Wade says in a hushed voice.
"R-really?" I ask, almost hieratical when I speak.
"Yeah..." Wade whispers.
"Then, my dream... Was it him?" I ask frantically.
"I don't know, but I don't know how your mind could just make that up." Wade tells me. I smile and wipe away tears on my face. I close my eyes and lean against the wall, wanting to fall asleep again, as if that would bring him back to me. But deep inside, I know it won't.