( FINISHED ) Wings of Fire OC Rating

Spiritchaser

OC belongs to sophiesaurus1

Name: Spiritchaser

It's okay for a Nightwing, -chaser is a very underused Suffix, but Spirit- I see around a lot, so it's around a 5/10 for the name

Age: 5 years

So she's still a dragonet, okay....

Gender: Female

K

Sexuality: Homosexual

Okay

Tribe(s): Nightwing

Okay

Queen they Support: Queen Glory

Makes sense as of Jade Mountain Time

Looks: Spiritchaser is a rather large, well built nightwing she has very dark navy blue scales with piercing blue eyes what are almost white. The spines along her back are a light grey, the dots along her neck share the same colour as her spines. Her underbelly is a darker blacky-blue, the star patterns on her wings are larger than most nightwing's and are more clustered together, but not too close. Her wings are also a light grey.

Very nice! It's descriptive, but not over whelming. Good job on adding body shape and whatnot, only thing is you might want to add her height.

Attires: She has two silver wristbands on each of her wrists, each studded with one sapphire. She has small rings of tiny pearls around her horns, and a large silver chain hanging from her neck.

Okay, again, good job on being descriptive

Personality: Spiritchaser is very distant, she keeps away from people and has mental struggles. She can be easily triggered by the slightest noise but has very bad hearing skills. She doesn't excel at much, but can be a very good fighter. She can be very bashful and sometimes falls asleep at random times without her own allowance, she tries to avoid making friends.

Hmmmm. This personality is really not unique. Like, I don't see it everywhere, but I do see it around. Some parts don't really make sense with other parts, too. For example
"She can be easily trigger by the slightest noise but has very bad hearing."
That doesn't make sense since she can't hear tiny noise if she has bad hearing. The personality could a lot more editing.

Backstory: When Spiritchaser was born, her mother died while giving birth. Her father, being very old didn't want Spiritchaser to be alone all her life, so he used his own animus magic to allow Spiritchaser to see and hear spirits wherever she went, in case he had died, too. Since spirits were everywhere, their voices taunted her causing her to have mental struggles with her mind. Her father did eventually die, but his spirit seemed to have left her, and she was left alone with whispers and unknown faded dragons walking around her.

This backstory is very vague. What happen after her father died? How did her father die? Why were the spirits taunting her? Did her father know the spirits would taunt her? Why did her fathers spirit leave her?
Remember, when making a OC, don't skip on the details! Even if it's a side Character.
Anyway, again, really work on polishing this up.

Occupation: She is too young, although she is preparing for Jade Mountain Academy.

Wait, what?
Why wasn't This mentioned in the backstory? Why is she going to Jade Mountain? Who's sending her if her parents are dead? Is Glory sending her off?
But seriously, really work on polishing her backstory up.

Residence: Currently the Rainforest.

Makes sense

Relatives: Duskriser, her mother, a small light grey Nightwing with Amber eyes and a dark red wingspan, along with a lighter red underbelly.

Nightrunner, her father, a very large black nightwing with deep blue eyes, and a dark grey underbelly and wingspan.

You're good with names. Very unqie!

Friends: Pear the Rainwing, a mostly yellow and pink rainwing with large pale green eyes. A spirit that she met.

So not all the spirits taunt her? Again, why wasn't this mentioned in the backstory!

Crush: None

Mate: None

Dragonets: None

Makes sense

Abilities: She can see spirits, and other normal Nightwing abilities

Makes sense

Powers: She can see spirits.

Okay

Other: None

Quote: None

I give Spiritchaser a 6/10. Her backstory needs a lot of work, and her personality could use some touchs up. Other then that very good!