( FINISHED ) Wings of Fire OC Rating

Aquarius

OC belongs to @Crownedtokyoyami

Name: Aquarius (Aqua as a friendly nickname)

Not the most creative name, but it works.

Age: 5

Okay.

Gender: Female

Nice.

Sexuality: Demi

Oh, nice! Don't see much of those.

Tribes: NightWing-SeaWing hybrid

Coolio.

Looks- Dark indigo scales, with the spines and webs of a SeaWing down her back, tail and underbelly. She has Aquatic scales, so she is able to communicate through that language. Her horns are shaped like a NightWing's but loop like a SeaWing's. Her ears are larger than normal, a minor defect that has nothing to do with her parents. She wears an armband made of silver, and used to wear an earring shaped like the constellation Aquarius.

I love the detail, the only thing is put more description in her colour. The only part that mentions colours are 'dark indigo scales'. Add her eye colour, wing colour, etc, etc.

Personality: She is protective of family and others she likes when people talk trash about them. Willing to help, and knowing when to stop, she is often a good teammate. However, she also prefers to go it alone rather than work with others. She often times finds herself excited over little things, and angry at them, as well.

Okay as most personalities go, but you can make it better by adding more details. What are some positive things, flaws, fears?

Backstory: She was hatched on an island in the Bay of a Thousand Scales, under a full moon, then raised in the SeaWing Kingdom. At the Talons of Power ceremony, her coconut floated over her head, just like she commanded it to. The night of, she was also taken by a SeaWing, and used her powers to escape. Meeting her NightWing father for the first time, she goes to the rainforest with him, and happens to adopt a dragonet exactly a year younger than her named Foresight. Both care about each other as if they were hatched from the same parents, and she now uses her gift to help rather than to harm.

Now this is good for a side character, but for a main character it's pretty bland. Expand more on her being kidnapped by a SeaWing, meeting her father (how did she meet him? How did she react to him?), expand more on her relationship with Foresight and her life in the Rainforest.

Hobbies: Sleeping, Drawing, Writing, and eating

Nice.

Abilities: Animus, gills, mind-reading power, prolonged flight

Why the prolonged flight, may I ask?

"Relatives: Father (Mars the NightWing), Mother (Abyss the SeaWing), and Brother (Foresight the NightWing)

Mars is a name I've never heard before! It's cool.

Overall, I give Aquarius a 4/10. She needs lots more detail, mostly on her backstory and her personality. This is good for a minor character, but not a main.