Forever Ours......

11.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Xayvion Taylor,

I have finally got an actual chance to to chill and spend time with my wife but since her ass got the stomach flu, I'm stuck holding her hair all night.

"Baby are sure it's the stomach flu?" I asked as she came up from the toilet.

"Okay maybe that as stretch. It could just be a stomach virus. I just don't know don't know, my body is confusing me. I took pregnancy test after test and still negative. I'm still getting my period and it just confusing. I even went to my doctor's and her test even came back negative. I just don't know." She said getting frustrated.

"It's okay baby calm down. I'm sure after your birthday time your pregnant." I said rubbing her side.

"Yeah." She said looking off.

"What's wrong?"

"Maybe my body is just punishing me." She said laying her head on my shoulder.

"Punishing you for what?"

"I took a plan b pill during our honeymoon and I'm sorry I wasn't thinking." She said looking at me.

I just looked at her in disbelief before standing up.

"You did what?"

"I'm sorry baby." She said walking to me.

"That's basically getting an abortion. What the fuck was you thinking."

"That's the thing I wasn't and I'm sorry Xay. Please baby I'm sorry."

"What was you thinking?"

"I'm so sorry." She said pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry." She repeated and kept repeating as she cried in my chest.

I wanted to hug her back and just be there for her but just the thought that she killed my seed before it even had a chance to see her damn eggs just made me mad.

I just pushed her off me and walked out the bathroom.

"Xayvion." She called out but I just grabbed my keys and left.

I just ignored her as she begged me to stop and talk to her but right now a nigga just need to clean his head.

I got in my car and just drove around trying to clean my head until I realized driving while angry lead to car accidents and I don't wasn't to crash because my wife fucking lied to my ass.

I decided to go to the one place I knew I would get peace of mind.

"Hey pops." I said sitting in front of his grave. "It's been a while but I really need someone to talk to and you know how mom is with crazy stuff." I said chuckling before wiping the tears that started to roll down. "I got married . She's amazing, you would have loved her. She kind of reminds me of mom. She's hard headed and strong willed. She's loving and crazy. I truly do love her pops. 

But it's like how can trust her after she took a plan b pill and it's got me thinking what if one day she finds out she pregnant and she just not ready? What if she aborts my child because she not ready pops." I said before just letting the tears fall. "Why doesn't anyone what to have my seed pops?" I asked before I felt arms wrap around me.

I turned my head and seen Bryce holding me with her head in my shoulder.

"I want you baby and I'm sorry. I'm messed up big time and I'll understand if you want a divorce."

"I'll never divorce you baby. I love you but you took a abortion in a pill."

"I wasn't thinking about all that but I figured you didn't want have a child so soon in out marriage."

"You know how I feel about kids." I said looking at her. "How many times have you taken the pill?"

"Just that one time." She said wiping my tears away. "Never again baby, I promise on my soul." She added before wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Bry I can't trust that right now."

"I know."

After just sitting in silence for what seem like minutes, the sun went down and it started to rain but that didn't change anything. We still stay sitting in front of my dad's grave crying from hurt and guilt.

I mean how can I trust my own wife after she did something like that to me? Why would she even try to prevent any pregnancy? I don't see what made her think it was okay to just kill my seed before it even had a chance to make it to a egg or begin its journey there.

"We gone be sick baby, lets go home." She said standing up but I didn't move.

"I don't want to be around you right now. I don't want to be in bed with you right now or anything but I do want you to make it home safe. So leave before it gets any worst." I said never looking up at her.

I felt her presence leave me so I rested my arms on my knees and laid my head on my arms. After a few minutes I stop feeling the rain fall on me and was kissed on my head.

"I love you." Bryce said before she walked off.

"I love you too." I said back before putting my head back down.

What is the problem with having a child by me? My genes aren't messed up, I have no midgets in my family and Down syndrome doesn't run in my family. I don't understand the big problem with having a little Taylor by me.