Forever Ours......

38.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Xayvion Taylor,

I picked Konnen up on this very cold just hit Sunday morning. Bry is sleep and Mayah is just on her bed zoned out. Konnen just being a butt and crying.

"What's wrong now?" I asked him walking out the room.

As soon as we left the room he stopped crying. I looked down at him as he just started going back to sleep.

"Ain't shit." I said to myself but was still met with a response.

"He got it honestly." Bry joked walking pass me with Mayah in her arms.

Things between us have been wack since last night. When we both go in bed there was no cuddling, no goodnight kiss, no I love you before going to sleep. It was everything that we didn't want to happen in our marriage.

"Another thing me and the therapist talked about was our marriage." Bry said sitting beside me on the couch.

"You unhappy?"

"Of course not. He asked how did I feel in our marriage. He asked if I felt as if I was putting all of myself into the marriage."

"What'd you say?"

"Of course I put all myself into the marriage and kids, just like you. Then he went on to say that we are creating a unhealthy marriage and family."

"Explain."

The things about Bry rants/vents is to say as least as possible because once you start voicing your opinion in what she saying, it's over with. She'll stop talking because she either feel like she offended you or that what you have to say is more important then what she saying.

"He said that we both need to get a balance. Us, kids, work, and social. He was like we both need to take time and think about ourselves. He had asked me when was the last time I went out and brought something just for me. I was honest and told him it's been a while because it has. When ever I'm out and I see something I like I always look for you something and recently it's been shopping for you and the kids and myself last. I don't mind and I don't see anything wrong with that because I know you do the same." She said looking down at Mayah. "He said that that's unhealthy, that we are going to lose ourselves in each other and in the kids in a bad way. Then he went on to say that with the situation hat we are in with Mayah, now is not the time to lose each other in one another and then kids because it's going to make Mayah death a thousand times harder to deal with." She said looking up at me.

"So he saying we need to do what?"

"Take time. Our marriage is lost in the kids and we lost in the mix. Xay, I don't even remember the last time we just had to joke around and be goofy. I can't remember the last time we just had fun, the two of us. Here lately we haven't had time. I haven't been out the house with you in so long unless we going to family house, doctors appointments, or the store."

I feel where she coming from completely, even before Liv was killed we didn't go out and spend time together. After Liv died so did our freedom. I get we 23 and 21, married, and we have son and goddaughter but damn we still young.

"He also said that we need to stop being so dependent on Mayah. We trying to spend all this time with her now and we actually smothering her. He was like we ain't gone do nothing but make it harder for her and us. Then he made a point. How can we be showing Obeca and Mayah the same affection if we treating her different because she dying."

"So what you saying?"

I don't like other people telling me shit but I can deal with Bry tell me shit. I know for a fact this little mind game playing ass nigga ain't say all this and some of this is coming from Bry.

"We making all of us suffer. Mayah disease is not environmental, so why are we keeping her in the house all the time? She hardly gets to leave. Konnen hasn't been out the house since he been born and it's not right. They always see us and just us and it's not healthy. We like a little cult right now."

"You look at our family as a cult?"

"No, our actions are cult like. I know this because I've been watching a lot of movies while you are at work."

That's it. She banned from TV. It's not talking about it. She is done, finished.

"So I was thinking. Maybe just maybe, we can like go to the park later on today. It's not gone be windy and I know it's still winter but it's warm outside and I promise to have the little bundles of joys bundled up tightly."

"You asking me for permission?"

"No, I'm running the idea pass you and canceling out anything negative you can say about the idea. My mom use to do it to my dad all the time."

"Yeah I'm down. Let's go back to sleep first before we been tired at the park and then go to sleep and the kids be gone." I said walking back to the room.

I laid Konnen snoring ass down and then waited for Bry.

I don't know why but it just feel weird to get in the bed without her when we going to sleep for the night.

She laid Mayah down and then we both got in the bed and she looked at me.

"I have to pee."

"Go pee Bry." I said letting out a light chuckle.

She looked like a damn little girl when she said that.

"We gone be good?" She asked me walking back to the bed.

"We gone be good. This shit is a forever thing. It's never ending."

"I'm always be yours?"

"You already know this." I said pulling her to me.

"You gone always be mine." She said kissing me. "Forever mines and all mine." She said getting on top of me.

"You forever and will always be mines and mine only. I'll share you with the kids till they hit 18."

"Aww you still gone feel the same when I'm old and wrinkled?"

"We gone be old and wrinkled together baby."

"You gone have more wrinkles then me though."

"Go to sleep."

"Okay, goodnight but also good morning because it's like 3:35 in the morning." She said while tucking her face away in my neck.

Gotta love her.

| I realize the time maybe a little confusing. In the beginning of the chapter it's like 12am almost 1am.

Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed the update. Y'all know I won't gone have them all depressed and in they feelings for long. Excuse all errors and can y'all believe I turn 19 in 3 months and 1 week. I'm getting old y'all 😭. |