Forever Ours......

36.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Bryce Taylor,

After the news yesterday Xayvion took the whole week off. I mean after news like that it's hard to just go back to everything like everything is okay.

"I just can't believe this." Simba said playing in my hair.

I'm laid on his chest while Soumayah and Mekonnen are laid in their bedside beds.

"I know it's just crazy sad. Like she really has became our daughter. We've loved her since she was in the womb and when she came out the womb. So to think we watched the journey of her become this beautiful chocolate princess, we now have to watch her all the way till she takes her last breath. I don't think I can do that Xay." I said rubbing my hand up and down his chest.

"I don't think I can either but we have to be strong for her and even stronger for Konnen." He said causing me to lightly shake my head.

For a brief second I kind of forgot about my baby in all this.

No he not old enough to understand and no he won't off-gate remember her. But both of his parents can't go into a depression because then who will he have? Who will raise him, if me and Xayvion are just laying in bed all day crying behind something we can't change.

"Yeah we do. We can't be depressed about this Xayvion." I said causing him to sit up and look at me.

"You saying don't care?"

"No, I'm saying we need to make these the last best moments for Mayah. We can't just be depressed for the months she has left, she gone already be in pain so we need to make sure she feels how loved she is. Xay we can't just be laying in bed soaking in depression because then not only will we have one dying child but we'll have two. I don't want to lose Mayah but I also don't want to lose Obeca. This is tough and it's going to get harder but we can't change that. We have two kids, one that's reaching her last days and a baby boy who just took his first breath on his own not to long ago."

From the look on his face I know he understands me, so I'm not going to press the subject anymore.

I got out the bed, fixing my tank top and pants before walking out the room.

I looked through the refrigerator looking for something to cook for lunch. For breakfast we had biscuit sandwiches, so I know Xayvion and Mayah not gone want a lot of bread.

While trying to decide, a pair of arms wrapped around me.

"I love you." Simba said tucking his face away in the nape of my neck. "We gone get through this together."

I laid my head on top of his as we stood there.

"Yeah we are but are we going to lose ourselves in this? Are we gone lose our love for each other? Xay I don't want it to be that we fall apart because of this."

Call me selfish but I really don't want to lose my family along with our princess. I've seen it happen enough to kids I went to school with and even those from my Grammy's village. The lost of a child can tear a family apart.

"I'll never leave you and my son. To lose Mayah is going to be hard but I not going to distance myself from my family. I rather her die and be at peace then stay and suffer for us. I know that when Mayah takes her last breath she will be at peace, her pain will be gone. I promise you baby, I'm not gone leave and my love for you will never be lost. I'm always be in love with you Bryce Jalane Taylor." He said pulling my face closer to his.

He placed a kiss on my forehead and then my lips.

It was such a simple kiss, yet it held nothing but emotions.

"I love you too." I said as he pulled back from the kiss.

He rested his forehead on mines and just smiled.

"You gone always have my heart."

"I know." I said wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You ready to be 22. How does it feel? You know to know at age 22 you have two kids and the best husband ever."

"Honestly, I never saw myself being married with two children by age 21. I thought by this time I would be going back to school or finally letting Olivia talk me into dumb things." I said letting out a slight chuckle. "Would you believe at age 12, we made a deal. We planned to go to the beach and then eat at a fancy restaurant where we couldn't pronounce anything for my 22nd birthday. We thought it would be funny to have a chance to experience the life of those with money just for a second." I said while Xayvion wiped the tears I didn't even know fell.

He pulled me close and just held me, letting me get the tears I've been holding back for so long free. It's just never been the right time to cry, I've been trying to be strong for my family because Simba can't always be the strong one. He needs time to breakdown too, I guess now is just my turn.

Now is my turn to cry for my best friend, my sister, the person who has always been there for me. To cry for the one who seen my growth even when I couldn't. The person who is responsible for me marrying the best man in the world and being able to give him a child.

It's my time to cry for the little one we about to lose. To cry for the one who has yet to even experience life, the one who lost both her parents, the one who I did not birth yet I love her like I did.

It's now my turn to break about my father's passing, Daniel going crazy, Olivia life being cut short, and Soumayah life coming to an end.

Now I can take the time after this to heal from knowing that now and soon all of them will be at rest, in peace. I may never know what changed for Daniel but I do know that now he's at peace and he's resting. I know Olivia is resting and at peace after all she's been through, and I know soon Soumayah will be able to be at peace and out of pain.

| It's kind of a sad chapter and I know. It's nothing really exiting going on but that's okay. Also I'm not completely morbid, I'm not gone write out Soumayah's death in a chapter. Like I can't do that because even my mind isn't that fucked up. If she was about 20 in the story and in real life, I could. Anyways I hope y'all enjoyed the chapter and please excuse all errors, y'all know I don't proofread. |