Daughter Of Dusk And Dawn

3.

Hope is a dangerous thing.

Pero hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. Nang marinig ko ang sinabi niya, may tila kung anong bagay ang biglaang nagising sa dibdib ko.

Hope is never good. More often than not, it disappoints.

"Interesado ka ba?" nanunukso ang tono niya.

Kanina-kanina lang, buo at maluwag ang dibdib kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na handa na akong mamatay. I told myself I was ready, that I was already prepared to face death.

Lies. Oh, the lies we tell our selves. I had been deceiving myself. Ang paghawak ko sa mga salita niya ay patunay na nagsisinungaling lang ako maging sa sarili ko. The truth was a slap to the face. 

Buong buhay ko ay tumatakbo ako. And I fell down. I was hurt. I was broken. But now that I was given an option, I had come to realize how desperate I really was. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na handa akong mamatay dahil wala na akong natitirang paraan para sagipin ang sarili ko. And now, I do. I had option, all I had to do was to hear him out.

"Nakikinig ako," I hated the fact that I sounded almost desperate. 

Truth was that I am desperate to cling to life, even if that meant I had to hold on to this tiny thread this man was offering me.

"Mayroong paraan para matakasan mo ang eksekusyon mo bukas. Mayroong akong plano upang bigyan ka ng pagkakataong mabuhay."

"Bakit mo naman ako tutulungan?" Ang naging tugon ko. Walang libre sa mundong ito. Walang dahilan ang lalaki para tulungan ako. Maliban na lang kung mayroon itong hihingiing kapalit. Na sigurado akong mayroon. 

Ano ang kabayaran? Iyon ang tunay na tanong. 

"Let's just say, because I need your help, too." Tila bugtong nitong tugon. 

"Wala kang mapapala sa akin." I said, a challenge. 

"Don't be hard on yourself. You're a fighter. This is a dangerous world. A girl of your status would've died on the streets a long time ago."

"I did what I have to survive."

"And survive you did. You just got to do it again."

"End has come for me." Tulad ng sabi niya kanina, bukas ang execution ko.

"It doesn't have to be. Kaya kitang tulungan."

His words sparked a little hope I never thought I still had inside of me.

"At paano mo naman gagawin iyon? Tutulungan mo ba akong tumakas? Sneak me out of the capital? Or out of the country?"

He answered me with a smirk as if what I just said was the stupidest thing he had ever heard. "Ano? Tutulungan kang tumakas? Oh, sweet Madelaine." He was chucking like a little devil. "Everything has a price," dagdag niya. 

His words echoed. 

Tama nga ang naging hula ko. Of course. I should have seen that coming. You get nothing for free. Everything comes at a cost.

Napayuko ako habang pinagi-isipan ang alok niya. Nakatitig ako sa madumi kong botas. Breathing was starting to become difficult. I could feel my lungs compressing.

"Whatever the price---" Napalunok ako. For a split second, I hesitated, but the desire to live outdid any doubts I had. "---whatever the price is. I am willing to pay."

All that matters is that I survive.

He smiled in triumph. He got me. This was what he intended to achieve when he instructed those guards to sneak me out of the palace dungeons. I'm afraid he might succeed.