||~~The Brewer's Girl~~||

👼Isolation👼

☺Chapter 22☺

❤Dedicated to KeiraPakhale for telling me good things like i write good 😘😘😘Thanks.❤

Kabir.

My heart is not at peace. There are a lot of unsettling knots that I feel inside. I am home to an empty house in Chandigarh. Perhaps everyone is at the hospital. Imagining Biji in a hospital bed brings tears to my eyes. Why didn't anyone tell me she is sick?

I decide to quickly dump all my luggage in the room and ask the maid to tell me where she is admitted. But it's a miracle if maids come on time. I can't stand to sit and wait for her to come. I run to the garage, preparing my old motorcycle for a ride. With that many memories comes back at me. I caress the seat cover, a smile tugging at my lips. When I was young and freshly learned to ride it, my mother was afraid to sit behind me but it was Biji who believed me and sat behind. She is the first woman with whom I went on a bike ride. We went to this temple where she used to study in her school days. She taught me many things and never made me feel aloof.

The best thing about her is that she has been like this since I know her. serious grey eyes, wrinkled skin, black and white long braided hairs, head covered with her saree and a rosary around her neck. As a kid it was hard for me to believe that she was also young and pretty once in her life. I also used to wonder if she would ever grow older. Because everytime I would see her she'd look the same yet beautiful to my eyes.

As I wipe the tears that hung at the corner of my orbitals, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I was going to answer but then I spot our maid walking through the gate so I run to her.

Aashna.

"Darn it! Why isn't he picking up my phone? Land karne ke baad ek text bhi nahi kiya" I sit back on the couch, nails between my teeth.

"c'mon di! Relax we don't know kya situation hai waha, he might have got busy" Kukkie says sitting beside me.

"I know! But Kukkie I'm worried for him. I dunno how he'll deal with this if God forbid anything goes wrong."I sigh. Last night I was exhausted so I fell asleep as soon as I hit the bed, but yesterday has given me a lot to think about. First his gifts, his honest and intense eyes, him saying he'd talk to his parents then him talking about kids and now Biji. I frown to myself. The picture of that girl Aarohi looking at my Kabir like that just doesn't leave my mind. How did they know each other? As for my knowledge he didn't have much friends, I know all of those few he has befriended.

Can she be his sister? She said 'maami'.....maybe she's related to his family.

"achaa di...when did you buy this?"Kukkie asks pointing at my locket.

A smile gracefully spreads on my face as I touch the locket with my ring finger.

"Kabir ne diya"

"what? Kabir bhai ne? aww di...he is so sweet!" she awes at him and I keep smiling.

Kabir.

"Kabir wait.....beta..." my mom shouts behind me but her voice falls over deaf ears. I don't stop, I'm rushing to the hospital room where Biji is resting. I've given a great surprise to my family by visiting them here in the hospital and did nothing to hide the hurt I've felt upon not having enough knowledge about what goes in my family.

"Kabir...sun toh!" dad pulls me back when I was going to enter the room.

"kya dad? Aaj ye din agya hai ki mujhe Biji ke baare me koi bahar wala aakar bata raha hai!not done!"saying so I rush in to the room and immediately feel so harsh like someone has just sucked all the air from my system. She has never looked so vulnerable, my Biji. Her skin looks so weak, many tubes attached to her body. I can see her eyeballs moving inside her closed eyes. This means she's awake. I sit on a stool near her bed, afraid to even touch her.

Her eyes open up to my wet ones and I close my mouth to stifle my sob. There's so much of love and care in her grey eyes. Have I been so busy in my damned personal life that I was unable to keep track of how was she keeping? Bile rises in my throat and I feel ashamed and guilty in front of her. How do I meet her eyes. I rest my forehead on her shoulder carefully not to disturb any of the tubes.

"I missed you Biji" my voice comes out in a breathless whisper.

Few seconds later I feel her hand caressing my hairs and that alone speaks a thousand words to me. Feeling her touch after a long time breaks me apart and I let myself shed a few tears. Her forgiveness, care and love is so overwhelming.

"bas tenu..dekh liya si....ab chain se rab ne milaanga" she says in a broken sentence and I try to understand her incoherent slow words.

I shot my head up and shakes my head frowning at her. "zaroori hai esi baatein krke humesha mujhe pareshaan krna?"

She struggles to smile at me, "haan...aur mai chali jaaungi to kisne krna hai tennu pareshaan? Koi pasand aayi ya nahi?"

"Biji....aap aise na bolo please." I hold her hand and drops a kiss behind it. I can't even imagine a life without her.

"ek din toh sabne jana hi hai, lagta hai mera waqt aagaya hai...khair phir ignore kiya na mera sawaal? Koi na, tune nahi toh maine dhoond li hai tere liye ek acchi kudi." She says taking breathes between the words.

"shh....we'll talk later, abhi aap araam karo ok?" I manage to convince her as she closes her eyes. I keep staring at her form,her unruly hairs spread on the pillow, her hands, where I could spot every vein of her arm, I breathe in a fresh air trying to push away the suffocating thoughts.

"Aarohi.... You know her na?" she again asks me, peeking at me from her one eye with interest. I hide my smile while answering, " jee, bua ki sister in law ki beti right? Bhopal mein mili thi mujhe kal hi, infact that's where I got to know about you"

She smiles and her both the eyes open, gazing at me merrily. I sense excitement in them.

"oh! So you've already met her?" she says, now her voice clearly showing the energy.

"Biji, I've met her in every marriage functions I attend in our family" I say, confused why is she asking about her all of a sudden.

"changa hai sab! Wahi toh hai jise maine tere liye chuna hai....tum dono aur milo...ek doosre ko jaano..."

"....Biji! enough for now, go back to resting now" I shut her up thinking of yesterday, how I've told Aashna that I'll talk to my family about us. I watch Biji still smiling with her eyes closed. "Biji sleep!"

She smiles even wider this time and opens her yes once more.

"ek last question.."

Old people are just like a kid sometimes. I shake my head at her and raise my eyebrows for her to go ahead.

"What were you doing in Bhopal?"

Oh! What do I say?

"Bhopal? Kabir tu Bhopal se aaraha hai?" dad asks me while entering.

I clear my throat before speaking, "haa woh...I visited my friend on the way."

"achaa, who's this friend jisse milne tu apni family se bhi pehle gaya?"

Why is dad so inquisitive? I rub the back of my head and just smiles, "we'll talk dad, let's get her to rest".

After catching up with my mom and dad I feel better. Yes I was angry but now that I've seen Biji there's not much of an issue to make complaints. Though its falling hard on me, we as a family should put all our efforts to take care of Biji in her last days.

Mom brings me some water and I gulp down, welcoming a relief to a constant swell of emotions in my throat.

"Mom, come I'll drop you home and come back here."

"No, you've also come from a long journey....you both should go home, I'll be here" dad says from behind.

"Dad....i wanna stay."

"You will. But tomorrow okay? Go home" he pats my back and I blink at him before walking out with Mom.

Aashna.

I've left a dozen of messages for him! Can't he just type a smiley at least to give me the hints that everything is fine there?

I dunno how many rounds I've taken on this swing chair but if he doesn't receive my call now I'll go crazy and maybe visit Neha aunty in the next lane to check on some info.

But if Neha aunty is still here when her mother is ill, that means nothing is that serious maybe? Then why isn't he texting or calling me?

"diiiii........ aap terrace par ho kya? Come downstairs....mumma papa aagaye!" Kukkie calls and I instantly runs down to hug mumma. Whatever be the worries, a mother's arms is the best comfort ever.

"kya hua Aashna? Sab theek hai?" she caress my face lovingly and I smile at her. "haan...I missed you"

"Aashna ye reports subah se bahar hi thi kya? Tum dono ne dekha nahi?" papa asks me handing me my check up reports.

"oh! Sorry bhool gyi hongi" my heart hammers inside in loud rhythms as I walk to my room followed by mumma. Reports! Damn it! 'inko bhi aaj hi ana tha!'

"kuch kaha?"

"no mumma, nahi toh".

Please god! Already so much is going on in my mind. Don't want this night to be more eventful.

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But contrary to what I wished for, my medical reports were a shock to me. Life was smirking at me with a 'didn't I tell you I am cruel' tag. That day I realized I wasn't that perfect maybe. I was depressed by the news, I lost the belief I had in me. I also made him lose the belief he had in me. My inhibitions overpowered my other senses and I pushed him away, away because I felt he deserved better. He had told me he only want me no one else. But I knew I'd never be able to give him the happiness he wanted and deserved. I knew he had eyes for me and me alone since he met me. I also knew he'd never be able to love someone else as much as he loves me. It was hard for me to push him away, because one side I wanted to but other side my heart wanted to be with him. I burned myself in my own fire.I broke him, I made it all complicated with my will, I hurt him beyond repair and with that I broke up into pieces in order to make him go away. In every chip of my heart that fell, you'd find him. He is the reason behind who I am. If only I knew what and where he is!

Know what they say about me? 'The hopeless has a hope if she still writes about hopelessness.' Well I'm waiting to know when would it make sense to me. I was certain our relationship was going to take a new turn. I was right. I left.

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Too short right? I know!
But it has to end at the last para. That italic part was from somewhere later in the story.

Well some votes and comments will do for now 😉😉
I'll come up with more at the weekend hopefully

Love always,
Sue😘