||~~The Brewer's Girl~~||

👼Destiny👼

☺Chapter 25☺

❤Dedicated to shamzz006 as a promised birthday gift! Late but here I am!❤

Kabir.

I find my home in her arms, the comfort which was much needed from the past week. I come out of the hug and cup her face in my palms, conveying how grateful I am that she came to see me.

"There comes a time," she begins, her soft voice filled with wisdom, "where something you don't want to happen, something completely unexpected, will appear in your life. It can be good, it can be bad, but it'll happen one day. And you'll have no control over it."

"you mean like destiny?" I ask quietly, staring into her eyes.

"yes Kabir! Something like destiny." She whispers, hugging me closer and I close my eyes burying my face in the side of her neck.

I know that there's going to be a point where I'll have to accept the fact that Biji is gone, but I just can't see, to get my head around it. Dadu, then biji, this whole concept of death scares me and I'm not embarrassed or ashamed to admit it. It is both sad and unsettling to know that a person can just disappear out of your life just like that, you can miss them with all your might, but it won't bring them back. You can cry all the tears that your body contains, but it still won't dull the ache in your heart.

"I can see how hurt you are by Biji not being here." Aashna sighs and puts some space between us as she holds both my shoulders at one arm distance. "I just want you to know that even if she's gone, a little part of her lives on through the things she instilled her love and care into." She seeks assurance from me to know if I understood her and I nod gently looking at the tiled surface filling up with a puddle of water. "thanks"

She lifts my chin up and gazes deep into my eyes, unaffected by the falling rain. "you feel okay?"

"yes, but are you okay?"I ask her. she looks so dull, like there's no life, there are shadows under her lashes I notice. Her soft smile dies the moment I ask this. She looks down not meeting my eyes, her teeth digging into her lower lip.

"what's wrong Aashna?" I question her, tenderly holding her hand but she abruptly maintains a distance and stands up holding her hair back. I realize then how drenched we are in the rain. "c'mon let's get us warm then you can tell me?" I was suggesting her but it turned out to be a question. I am unsure of if she will let me know. I have this strong feeling that it's her secret that's keeping as a barrier between us.

She shakes her head as if denying something. Her eyes focus on me and then moves behind me. I frown and turn around following her gaze to find Aarohi standing on the stairs, under the shade. Her expression is shattering and I gather she might have guessed who's Aashna to me.

"uh...I came to call you Kabir, uncle's looking for you." She speaks uncomfortably and escapes my sight.

Aarohi.

I run down the stairs in a hurry, wiping away some sprinkles of rain I felt with the wind. As I find my way into the washroom, I slide down the door after slamming it shut. What was I thinking? I was going to marry a guy who already has someone in her life! Why didn't he tell me atleast? He knew why I was here! He knew about the alliance his Biji promised then why did he not go against this?

What I just witnessed, I saw love in his eyes. The way she was cuddling him and soothing away his pain was most certainly love. I wish I could be at her place. But now knowing what I know, I do not wish to be at her place. That's not me. I ain't doing anything with Kabir. Was I blind? How could I not see it before? Kabir and Aashna together in the park looking happy, him visiting her before he meets his family after coming to India, and Aashna asking me to not speak about it all. I should've know that there's something because of which he was so aloof with me.

But what about me? I have begun to like him, would I be able to take my mind off him ever. For the first time in my life, I listened to this heart craving for love, and what happened? When it found love, there's not a way I could turn to him. it is like I was dreaming about marrying him all this while and now it has come crashing down onto me with reality. I cover my face trying to ease the hurt that I feel. Why does it hurt so much? It's not his fault? I was stupid to fall for him without knowing anything about what goes on in his life. Yes, I've realized that it is love what I feel for Kabir. But he doesn't and never will. Will I be able to accept this fact? I will have to but not before telling him the truth. I'll tell him what I feel and then I'll call off this marriage before he does. Because I don't know if I'll be able to handle when he denies it. I feel so bad for myself!
I shake my head to clear my clouded eyes and mind. As I wipe my nose on my sleeves I hear someone coming in the room. Oh no! I'm in his bathroom! I immediately rush out of it to see a servant taking the laundry out of his room. Having a glance around the walls and looking at all those pictures, I think how he is loved by everyone and how I am not a part of his life and never will. I feel embarrassed to all those times I tried to talk to him. what would he think of me? That I'm someone annoying and irritating who wants to throw herself at him?

Why does it matter what he thinks of me? He probably wouldn't even have time to think about me. He has a pretty girlfriend. I grimace and exit the room.

Aashna.

"I want to break up"

It is easier to break someone who is already shattered. So I've said something really gross that I didn't mean.

Kabir hasn't moved from his position and I curse internally. From how he is standing, with his back towards me, I can't see his expression.

What is he feeling? Obviously terrible, his shoulders are tensed so that much I can tell. They have been tensed since I uttered those rotten words and the urge to go to him and power slam his shoulders down seems insatiable.

Pulling me from my thoughts, he turns his head slightly to his left, so he can look at me from the corner of his eyes. uh ho! Now starts the harder part. God give me courage.

I smirk, "I called you my best friend and more and you didn't even find it necessary to tell me you are all set to marry? Congrats man!" I touch his shoulders and instantly regrets. That was a wrong move, he grabs me by my hand and pulls me closer. I fear my façade would come apart.

"you know me Aashna. I only want you. Nobody else." He breathes on my face and I push him away, putting distance between us to keep me sane.

"Then what the hell is she doing here?" I raise my voice against the lightning breaking the sky.

"she is a relative of Aunt, she came with her. trust me Aashna I came to know all this from Biji, I didn't have any idea, biji fixed it all...."
I cut him off "....don't blame the gone please! It has been a month! A month Kabir! It is enough of a time you could have told me! I get to hear it all after coming here! Don't you think you should've been the one telling me this!"

"wow! And did you leave any chance for me to tell you huh?" he also raises his voice and I feel weak in my knees. But I'll fight with all my might. He continues, "At least you came to know about it now, and you know I meant it when I asked you to marry me. besides its you having secrets not me!"

I turn around closing my eyes, the rain was falling sharp on us, cutting through the skin and biting hard. But I felt pain in realizing that I couldn't share with him what I have. He is fixed with Aarohi who will complete him in a way I never will.

"why are you like this Aashna? Why do you close all the doors to me?" he comes in front of me, this time asking so tenderly that his love overwhelms me. I gulp down the bile rising in my throat before speaking.

"I've been dodging my parent's suggestions of finding me a groom. They became sad but I thought one day I'll wipe the sadness on their face away when you come and hold my hand in front of them. I've been thinking how'd you ask for me from papa. I've been dreaming all this and here you are, planning to marry! That's it!" I sigh for emphasis. There I said it. I can see he's buying the lie I spoke.

"that's it?" he asks, raising his eyes to mine and I avert my gaze. "don't see it as a very small thing Kabir. But ofcourse now things relating to me are not going to matter to you. Lets end it."

"are you crazy?" he holds me by my shoulders and I whimper from his aggressiveness. He loosen his hold a bit and then steps away, taking his head in his hands. "I don't believe you Aashna, you've lost your mind! Let's go I'll talk to uncle aunty if so" he comes and tries to hold my hand but I pull it to my side.

"I don't want it Kabir! I don't want to marry you, you can marry whoever fudging girl you find...." "Respect Aashna! What's gotten into you?" he cuts me off and yells at me.

"see now you're even standing up for her like a cool husband!" I fire back and I can see his state worsening! He looks raged and helpless to put some sense into me but sorry! I left it all at home, I chuckle inside me bitterly and then my stomach churns into a painful ache.

We hear footsteps running upstairs to us, a sardarji shouts Kabir's name from under the shade. He nods at him raising his hand to tell him to wait.

"come downstairs and please stay! We will talk it all out when you're saner than now." He glares at me and leaves with the sardarji.

My insides crumple down in defeat even when I know I've won this today. I did it! My eyes cry and I start to shiver. The rainfall is terrible and I'm so cold.
A maid comes for my aid, probably Kabir sent her. I see it as a very good chance to escape this house, I'd rather be anywhere, curled up into the warmness. I want to cry the fudge out of myself. And I don't give a damn if running away from here makes me a coward. The maid offers to give me some clothes asking from Aarohi but I don't want to see her now. I don't want to see anybody so I deny her and she looks concerned. I affirm that I have a hotel nearby and I'll change as I get there. She shows me out and I walk out after glimpsing one last time at his house.

I should be feeling light to have done it, but all I feel is ten times the heaviness I felt before. Yet everything seems so hollow. I hail a taxi which takes me to my hotel. I curse the song on the radio 'Mai hu tera deewana' that I loved singing to along with Kabir once.
I scroll on my phone making sure I'm on time with my returning train, I chose the train because I need some time alone to think and cry into my empty world. I know Kabir is not done with me, it would take some days for him to be able to go anywhere since he can't leave his family and house. And the first place he'd decide on visiting is my home. So I'm not going there. Instead I'm gonna go to Pune and have some sensible time with Yash. Though he is crazy and hovers upon me all the time but he is the only friend I have other than Kabir.

Aarohi.

I'm serving tea to the guests in the hall when I again see Kabir. He looks freaked out, moving frantically in and out of every room and the kitchen. I frown and walk back in the kitchen with the empty tray in my hand.

"Damn it!" I shudder as I hear him grunt loudly, his fist landing strongly on the fridge, making it rattle. I'm startled by the look on his face. He seems red, flush with anger and I wonder what might have happened.
I put the tray away and move to his side, afraid to touch him as he spreads an intimidating aura around him.

"Kabir? What's wrong...are you oka...?" He cuts me off before I could finish , "Have you seen Aashna?"

"No" his eyes close and he looks away again, but I felt that every emotion his eyes conveyed in the minute second that his eyes met mine. Along with his emotions came my own hurt biting onto myself. Maybe I can't marry him and it is ok! People get rejected , its not like he loves me, it was arranged and what is his fault that I fell for him. Then why does it hurt to even think about it all?

"I'll call off this marriage Kabir, I don't want to come between both of you" I initiate my side of say in teh matter but he fists his hand more tighter and his eyes find their way back to mine, angrier than before.

"There's no need of that! It's all over between us!"
Saying so he walks out of the kitchen, his eyes as distant as ever.

To say that I'm shocked would be an understatement. How can this be so? Is he telling me to not step back? What about them? How is this all over? Surely what I saw was love between them then why is everything getting so strange.
What am I supposed to do between all this? 

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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