||~~The Brewer's Girl~~||

👼The Beginning👼

☺Chapter 32☺

❤Dedicated to gudduR for all the love that she is! Lots of Love Garuu! ❤

Aarohi.

"It has been a year to...." Kabir whispers but leaves it incomplete. I had asked him what was on his mind.

We are sat beside each other, all buckled up in an aeroplane seat. My excitement is so high to fly to Ireland. I can't believe I will have my own home to manage in a totally different country.

It has been two and half months that Kabir and I are married now. I was warmly welcomed in his family and though I knew them very well and have lived with them before marriage, but this time I was meeting them as their son's wife, so it felt special how lovely they all were. His dad was the coolest of all who keeps it all light. I guess Kabir has taken after him only. But it is sad that not any of us see Kabir's 'keep it light' side since last year.

His mom and I almost cried being all womanly when she told me she has always wanted a daughter and now she sees one in me. There still feels an emptiness in their home and I know it's an absence of someone elderly living with them.

Biji is wholeheartedly missed by them all......by us all. I am still getting used to the fact that I am a part of his family now. I thanked Kabir the day we came back from my sister's home. Thanked him for being sweet to my family, to make my munchkins happy and also for being nice to me. He had just waved me off saying I didn't have to mention.

But more than that, we never had a proper conversation about anything. I was mixing up with his family, meeting his relatives, neighbours and far off acquaintances who were unable to attend our wedding. My days were spent socializing and Kabir has been so distant at nights when we had to share the room. We only spoke if I needed something or he did.

In the past two months whenever we were sent out to enjoy ourselves, Kabir always took me to movies. I was never a movie person, being into a medical field, I had no time to watch movies ever. Instead I loved to really talk to my patients or just utilize my time learning something new or play with my munchkins - my nephew and my niece.

I would have loved to talk to Kabir over a coffee or something, but all he did was to sit quietly beside me while the movie played on.

Neither of us watched it though, I can bet.

I didn't like how we have been doing after marrying but I thought to give him some time. Being with someone, sharing a room, running a home and taking care of all those things relating to him is new to me too. I took my time adjusting and he took his. Two months rolled by and I had applied for a transfer. On not getting a good and productive place to work, I wanted to quit the hospital I was working with before marriage. But then Kabir was already struggling with his career and I didn't want to be a burden on him, even for a short period, till I could look up for something to do.

So I agreed on being transfered to the Irish hospital branch they assigned me. I would work there until I can find a better place or maybe even start my own clinic. That was just an idea I wasn't so sure of it.

Finally we're flying back to Ireland. I mean he is flying back, it is my first time to go this far. Sure i have been to Kyrgyzstan for my medical studies but Dublin is more far than Kyrgyzstan.

Kabir's dad had suggested of sending us to Honeymoon but both Kabir and I knew it would be too awkward considering our relation. So I told dad, us going to Dublin would be nothing less than a honeymoon for me plus Kabir needed to get back to his work. So after my visa formalities were done we were all set to depart. My sister's family had come to see me off and I felt a little emotional on going this much far from them.

I prefer to distract myself when I am sad so when I saw Kabir looking out of the window, I had asked him what was up with him. I am confused by his answer or half answer that he has formed a habit to give me.

"A year to what Kabir?" I ask him.

He is still looking out of the window so I take it as he didn't hear me. I keep my hand on his shoulder and that startles him.

"Sorry....uh you were saying something about a year has passed..." I ask him, concern evident in my voice as his eyes look my way and then at the head rest of the seat in front of us.

After heaving a long sigh, he tells me, "it has been a year to when I broke up with Aashna and left"

"Oh!" is the only response I can think of right now.

Since our marriage, neither of us has brought Aashna's topic and I think it is better that way.

Few seconds of an awkward silence tick by before his head turns to look at me and I feel his eyes trained on me. Finally when he doesn't speak anything I stare back at him and immediately regret meeting his guilty eyes. He again averts his gaze and sighs before addressing me.

"I'm sorry Aarohi."

I know no more how should I feel about his mess that he is not able to pick up and do it right. I lick my lips and ask him, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No...I mean, not to you. No." He says, avoiding my eyes so I give him a small nod and drop the topic.

"Kabir, it has also been a year that we were engaged and you flew back to Ireland." I tell him and this time he looks up at me with a small smile.

"I'll remember things this way. Keep helping me to come out of this mess Aarohi" his eyes are pleading and helplessness is deeply visible in them.

"I will if you will talk to me Kabir. I get it, you don't love me back and you're trying to cope up with the aftereffects of your unsuccessful relationship. But will you please stay a bit and talk? You're always running away from me like I am some form of a ghost!" My eyes zeroes in on him and he again looks away as if trying to shield himself from my prying eyes.

"I am sorry"

"Sorry ajaata hai bs tumhara....Kabir we are married and we are going to live together alone. I am really so excited but I am also worried that the only person I know there is you. And if you too don't talk to me then I will be left all alone and get bored."

"Aren't doctors boring already by the way?" He peeks at me from the corner of his eyes.

"I am serious here Kabir and here you go making those comments!" I fake aggravate but on the inside I am laughing and also relieved to let it all out finally.

"Okay!" He raise his palms up. "I promise I will take care of you."

At his admission my heart skips a beat and I find myself confound at this petty action my heart did.

"Thank you. Kabir I want to be your friend and make it work for us okay. Just cooperate. That's all I want from you."

"Okay" he nods at me and again look out of the window.

"you'll wake me up when we reach?" I ask, uncertainty intentional in my voice.

He looks at me for a moment before answering, "Are you trying to make me feel guilty? I am not that bad of a husband that I will leave you behind and escape." He speaks in an affronted manner but I know he is just pretending.

So I play along.

"Thank God! I am blessed with a husband like you." I narrow my eyes at him and in reply he just rolls his eyes before turning back to his favorite thing since we boarded the plane, that is looking out the window. Though I wonder if he is really seeing or just letting his mind find some peace.

"Good night" I close my eyes and a smile is left on my face. The part about being blessed to have a husband like him was entirely true. I am sort of happy on the inside because in last two and a half months this is the first time we have talked this much, or argued. It's not a bad start to be honest and I hope we get along well in future. The fact that we'll be living on our own together will help so much.

"Night!" Comes his low response in his deep voice.

"Kabir?"

"Hmm?"

"Get a shave done when we get home."

"Sleep Aarohi!" I have a hard time to stifle my chuckle at the annoyance in his tone. I can already imagine a frown sitting on his face.

"Just being your wife" I grin, with my eyes still closed. I can feel his eyes on me somehow. I become a little conscious so I stop smiling.

"Stop staring at your wife Mr. Malhotra."

I was expecting another retort from him but all I get in return is a sigh and I know he is back to his beloved window staring. I drift off to sleep with my last thoughts on how will it be like to live with Kabir with no one around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You can afford this?" Is the first question I ask him when I turn around to see his house. He is still paying to the cab driver. When he faces me, my eyes are still wide staring in amazement. He just smirks at me and I try to set my eyes back to original consciously.

"I haven't gone bankrupt Aarohi. I still earn enough to afford this." He shakes his head at me. "Chalo"

I process his words and feel silly at myself. I should have probably said good things about the house than question him like that.

"I'm sorry, it's just the thrill of being in another country I guess" I follow him on my heels. Turning the key in the darkwood door he wheels our luggage in. We have been on a night journey from India and it is again night in here. Kabir switches the lights on, on his way in. My eyes are all appreciation as I walk behind him. He takes his traveling coat out and opens a cabinet in the wall to hang it their. Mirroring his actions I too shrug out of my coat and he takes it from me to put it at place.

"Go ahead"

I smile at him and my steps take me forward to enter the hall. My eyes widen in wonder and a gasp leaves my mouth. Though I can see very less in the dim lights but the setting is somehow warm, welcoming and mesmerising. The small lights from the POP are creating shadows of each furniture in the hall and I feel like standing there and staring at it unmovingly.

Kabir comes behind me and I realize I am blocking his entry so I move forward as he enters and flick some more lights on. There is a big couch in the middle of the hall and it's facing the flat screen. Few photographs hang on the side wall that is plain. I assume that these are Kabir's favourite shots that he might have taken or maybe someone he admired did. On the opposite wall there is a Beautiful wall art of a sunset as a background. A girl is hanging down a wire, with her one hand up, holding an end of a string. The other end is held by a boy. On that string a boy is balancing from the other side. It looks as if both of them depends on one another. If the girl leaves one end of the string, the boy would fall down and if the boy leave the string the girl will lose it all. Somehow this is so deep that I am stuck in time. The shadows casted by the lights are making it more fascinating.



I am so lost that I don't hear Kabir speaking to me.

It's when I feel a hand on my shoulder that I realize my eyes are wet.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" He asks me with concern.

I don't trust my voice so I just nod at the wall art. He follows my gaze as I clear my throat

"This is really beautiful." I tell him softly.

He just stares at it too, swallowing the emotions welled up in his throat. To divert his mind off unwanted things I nudge him. "This is great!"

He comes out of his train of thoughts that I am most certain I don't want to hear right now.

"Come look at the kitchen." I turn around and can see the kitchen from where I am standing in the hall. The kitchen counter is beautifully lit with lights again and as I walk behind the counter I realize this is big! I voice out my thoughts.

"This is huge, I can actually live here and it would be sufficient." I talk in wonder and he chuckles.

"Are you hungry?" He asks me while his head is buried behind the fridge door.

"Sure , what do you have?"

He takes out a carry bag and closes the refrigerator door. "Actually," he rubs the back of his head with his head. "I am running out of stuff, but I can manage a pasta for tonight."

"That's okay. Let me get myself changed and I will prepare it. Where's our...uh bedroom?" My hands are itching to hold something, anything just to get them busy as I ask the last bit to him. His eyes are on me but I don't dare to look at him straight. Instead I walk towards him and take the poly bag of some ingredients from him.

He snatches it away.

"Aarohi, you flew at such distance for the first time, I am not letting you do anything in the kitchen tonight."

"It is not a problem with me Kabir, i'll do. I have a habit of being up and working when I am literally tired, so that's fine." I again snatch the bag from him and his hands again snatch it away.

"I know you Cook amazing food okay. Bear me for tonight." He walks to the kitchen counter and empty the contents from the poly bag.

"Our room's the front door when you go straight from the corridor." He speaks looking sideways from his shoulder.

I purse my lips and walk back into the hall to take my bag along with me. The floor is darkwood, contrasting the light walls. I wheel my bag to the room Kabir guided me to. On my way I notice there is a bathroom and a little washing area on the left. On the right adjacent to the our bedroom there is another room. I guess it might be the guest room. I am tempted to check that room too, as the whole house is just amazing.

As I am about to open the door, Kabir's voice startle me.

"You can check the rest of the house tomorrow Aarohi. C'mon now be quick so that you can sleep on time after dinner. You must be tired."

His tone is somehow sounding odd.

"Uh...okay!" I nod at him and turn to open our room door. I frown at the possessiveness in his voice. But as soon as I enter the room my frown disappears and I am yet again surprised the way our bedroom is set.

Kabir walks in behind me, Wheeling rest of the luggage inside.

He switches more lights on so that I can see everything. "That's the bathroom" he points to a black door on my left and I am surprised. Two bathrooms in a bachelor's house. Nice.

"There's the closet and changing room" he point behind me and I am amazed would be an understatement. So far living without parents in my aunt's house or in hostel, I have only dreamt of having a separate walk in closet. This was a jackpot to be honest and I can't help myself from giggling.

Kabir raise his eyebrows at me. I smile big at him, "This is a dream house Kabir. I love it."

He acknowledge my happiness with a smile. I point to another black door to our right. "What's in there?"

"Balcony" he replies and I can't help myself from opening my mouth in delight. "Wow" As I turn towards the door and think of taking a look Kabir stops me.

"We don't want snow in our room now do we?" There was amusement in his voice.

I am still tempted to check it out but then hold myself back.

"Alright then I will be outside, you can change and come."

When Kabir leaves my eyes falls on the big double bed. The wall behind is a dark sea blue unlike the bluish white light shades on the other walls. I like what I see. Usually new places doesn't tempt me much but here I already feel like being at home. I am surprised myself how I can feel this comfortably warm and good about this place.

I am happy that it is not hard to adjust. I have always wanted to know how was his life and after our engagement when I used to call him I was able to get a few words out of him. I have heard him telling me about sitting on the couch in the hall or just lying down on his bed in his room. Now that I can actually see the setting, I can imagine him well wandering around the house.

I can even see him move around the house live as we live on together hereafter.I feel this is a good beginning. We actually talked today, like a real talk. With a family living around, it was like it was between us. Lesser conversations. But now that we will be living alone there is no escaping for him.

There is gold in every relationship, even the difficult ones. And I know to bring the riches to all my relationships and to my life, I will have to dig for that gold.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Love always,
Sue 💝