||~~The Brewer's Girl~~||

👼Wedding bells👼

☺Chapter 31☺

❤Dedicated to daydreamerr17 & MayurChan wish you both a very happy birthday 😁💞 God bless!❤

Kabir.

My hands pull on my hair while I rake my brains to remember as much as I can of the dream that I've seen this morning. It wasn't in my favor because I was marrying Aashna who like always held my hand and then my bride turned into Aarohi who stared at me with love filled eyes. It was a Hindu wedding just as Aashna had wanted, she had once mentioned to me while I was driving her to the Dublin Airport. Was the dream a sign reflecting upon my life? How I was going to marry Aashna and then how we aren't together and I am going to marry Aarohi in the end. Dreams that come in the morning are always true, they say. I was married to Aarohi in the dream. And today is that Big day of my life. I am sharing this fortune with the one whom I do not love. what a tragedy!

I can't call it a nightmare because Aarohi isn't that bad. That's what it was. A bad dream. But I can't forget it. My mind keeps racing back to the dream as I unknowingly walk into the washroom and brush my teeth. My head hurts with last night's hangover. But it is bearable. I am never too drunk.

As I splash some water onto my face, Aarohi's voice fill my ears from the previous night. I remember each word that she said. And I believe that she meant what she confessed last night. The girl's in love with me!

I splash some more water and then look up into the mirror, my eyes red and dripping with water.

Who is this Kabir Malhotra? I feel like leftover shitty piece of food which is not appealing to anyone. I loved Aashna with all my might. She said she loved me, her eyes told me she did. But she left. Yesterday Aarohi too said she loved me. she might leave me too. My lips curve in a sarcastic smile.

If I deserve to be loved then why not by Aashna God? Why did she leave me? this is the question I have been asking for past nine months.

Heartbreaks are tough to deal with indeed.

I grab a towel and wipe my face on it while walking out of the room. Yesterday night and morning's dream flashforwards in my mind again.

"I'm here to stay Kabir" , Aarohi had said and for an unknown reason I want to believe her. My mind races back to my dream where I realize she is leaving her family and everything behind to be with me. I cover my face with my palms and it feels hot.

She loves me. she does even after knowing I don't have any place left in my heart to give her.

I feel sick. I am going to start a new life today but I can't let go of my past damn it! Why am I wondering even at this moment that where must be Aashna? Has she seen my wedding invite? Did it give her even the slight bit of pain? Does me marrying Aarohi affect her or maybe she doesn't care where the fudge I die?

I kick off the couch in front of me. Fudge! Why am I speaking Aashna's tongue now!

"Kabir!" I push my hair back as I hear dad coming to my room. Sighing I walk to open the door.

"ye lo! tu abhi tak aise hi ghoom raha hai!" (you're still not ready?) dad's eyes run over me and then he enters followed by my cousins and my mother who brings in my wedding sherwani. She holds me by my shoulder and turns me towards washroom for a bath. I have seen the amount of happiness and proud in her eyes that she is feeling for me. A smile touches my lips.

Sometimes we're too busy finding our happiness running behind what we love that we forget to give happiness to the ones who love us.

I chased Aashna and in return my career, my happiness and my life got ruined. Atleast now I should value my family and the one who is going to bear me for the rest of her life.

Aarohi.

Breathing in the scent of my Heena clad hands, I lower them to open my eyes and stare at myself in the mirror.

I have never looked so breathtakingly beautiful to myself like I do in this moment. My elder sister put a black mark behind my ears to guard off any bad energies.

Since the day I was told I was to marry Kabir, I have dreamt of only one thing and that is to become his bride. To be able to put efforts to look better for someone always appealed me and now that I am sitting here making sure for anything else to be done for him, I realize how much I love him. His name on my hands makes me feel already who am I going to be.

His wife.

My heart skips a beat and I take a deep breathe.

Finally the day has come.With the happy beats of dhol, I am taken to the grand wedding hall for Milni. I feel his presence before my eyes see him and on their own accord my eyes raise to find him. I don't know how did I know where he was standing, but somehow I knew. His well designed traditional shoes, his maroon silk wedding sherwani mixed with the ochre attire takes my breathe away. I downcast my eyes as soon as our eyes meet and a blush threatens to erupt on my face.

I can hear giggles from my cousin sisters and I grip tightly onto my lehenga to lift it up and walk towards where I will sit beside him.

I can feel his eyes on me. But I don't know if he likes what he sees or even for a second if he finds me beautiful? For a split second our eyes meet again as I reach him. I again look down disappointed that today I am unable to read his eyes. As if he has hidden all his emotions beneath them.

This moment where I am stood next to him as his bride and him as my groom is so special. I am lost in the feeling unknown to all those people present around us and unaware of the Ardas being performed. Our relatives join us and I am still lost, so lost that I don't hear the cheers, I don't acknowledge the smiles. Suddenly I feel like why am I here? Is this the right place for me to be in?

I am handed a garland and I come back to where I should be. As my eyes rise to him standing with a garland in front of me. I feel all things right. He raises his hands and accepts me by making me wear the Jaimala.

Yes. I am at the right place. With my happiness, resonates the cheers of our family and friends. I gently lower my head and try to unnoticeably take a wiff of the flowers he so gracefully adorned me with.

I feel my sister's hand at my back and I take the que, raising my hands to make him wear the garland, but his friends make it hard for me to reach him. With my face red I aim another time and Kabir is raised at a height I am unable to reach.

All around me there has been a happy environment from the moment I walked here, but my world lits up with his smile.

Yes, Kabir is smiling with his buddies. I adore this man totally, my eyes too glisten with happiness upon seeing him smile.His eyes meet mine and his smile starts to falter as he again stands on his feet. But I keep smiling at him, a compelling smile telling him not to let that smile on his face die.

My aunt urges me to complete the ritual of Varmala, but I am waiting for him to smile.

My eyes challenge him to make him wait until he gives in.

"C'mon Bhabhi!" His cousin brothers and friends encourage me and I can't help but turn red again. All these days in our pre wedding rituals when someone called me Bhabhi (sister in law), my inner conscious has danced like crazy. Perks of marrying the man I love I guess.

"Awwww...." I hear the girls awwing soundly and my eyes hopefully shoots up to find Kabir bowing his head for me to put the Jaimala. I don't miss the smile playing on his lips. He is laughing at me on the inside I can tell. It is a mocking smile I know but this would do for me for now. I put the garland around his neck and dig my one nail in his skin for a second.

Cheers sounds all around us and I grin like a winner in our small private battle. Serves you right for laughing at me!

We are congratulated by all and the elders bless us. We get busy with friends and relatives indulging in fun and teasings to celebrate the happy ocassion.

I can see him smile to everyone but I wonder if he is really happy? We didn't got a chance to talk after last night. He didn't say anything after I told him what I feel. Does he remember me saying I love him?

I took ten months to confess out loud to him and that too when he was drunk! Why did I not say anything to him when he was himself?

Because he wasn't ever himself with me since a long time. A part of him has been taken away by his ex girlfriend.

Why couldn't I be someone who sacrificed her love to make the lovers meet? Why couldn't I be the 'Naina' from Kabhi khushi kabhi gum or the 'Aman Mathur' from Kal ho na ho?

Maybe if I tried hard to find Aashna's problem, I could've brought them together. Why didn't I do it then? Why couldn't I do this much for my love? Why I wanted to be beside Kabir?

The answer is simple and Kabir answers for me.

"I know you love me."

We are sitting beside each other, waiting for them to prepare for the following rituals. Kabir speaks to me gently, surprising me.

He knows! That's why he was enjoying himself at my expense in the Varmala. I look the other way, embarrassed for if I give him anymore reactions, they'll be the stupid in love ones.

I look into his eyes and they carry a teasing glint. I suddenly feel overwhelmed with my confusing feelings and thank god for sending me an escape. My girls take me to where we are supposed to sit near the Sikh scriptures.

What might he think of me after knowing that I love him? 'Pyaar kiya hai chori thodi na ki hai' I think to myself. What's wrong in him knowing so. Good that he does. Great even!

Kabir is sitting beside me throughout the Kanyadaan. I don't know what is on his mind, I can't see his face. This is an emotional moment for me. My father would want my husband to love an protect me with all his might.

Neither my father's present here, nor Kabir loves me. This thought makes me sad. But I feel myself lucky enough for my aunt and uncle are doing my Kanyadaan. Kabir with sincerity wears the ring from my uncle and I am sure he understands the depth of this ritual. Because apparently marriage is not a game. And I am not playing, I love him and so I am taking these oaths to be in this pious relation of Man and wife with him.

All throughout my wedding rituals I have been lost and wondering a lot about what must be going on in his mind.

He seems lost too.

I feel us connected with that knot in the orange cloth that we both are sharing. He stands up and I am surprised finding his hand in front of me.

Chaahe jo tumhe poore dil se
Milta hai woh mushkil se
Aisa jo koi kahin hai
Bas wohi sabse hasin hai
Uss haath ko tum thaam lo
Woh meherbaan kal ho naa ho

I give him my hand and stand up, my eyes tearing up. I wanted my parents to be there with me at the most beautiful moment of my life. But wherever they are I know they'll bless us and be happy.

We start walking in tow around the Guru Granth Sahib. After the first round I close my eyes and accept Kabir as my husband with all the energies residing inside me.

I vow to feel his heart beat as mine, to feel our souls reuniting in one body and to complete the second round with whole of my presence.

At third round we both bow and pay respect to our religious scripture, accepting Guru as the center of our marriage.

After the fourth Phere, our Laavaans gets completed and I pray to god to shower good health and happiness in our new life together.

My aunt smiles at me and I return one, and I bet this was the most realest smiles I have ever smiled.

Kabir's eyes meet mine, and with the vermilion in his hand he is in front of me with glistening eyes.

He soon completes me as his bride by applying sindoor in my hair partition. A sense of divinity fills me and I smile at him. One step away from being his forever.

After this I will have his name attached to mine. I will have to be known as a part of his family. I will no more be a single woman, I will be known as his wife. My beautiful dream is coming true.

He nears me, his hand going around my neck to tie the Mangalsutra. His face is close enough and my eyes are shut as I try to focus on controlling my heartbeats.

Palko ke leke saaye
Paas koi jo aaye
Lakh sambhalo paagal dil ko
Dil dhadke hi jaaye
Par soch lo is pal hai jo
Woh daastan kal ho naa ho

I feel his breathe and my heart cease to beat. This is the first time ever that he is so close to me. In this moment I want nothing else but for all the people to vanish and for time to stop.

I feel my bubble of warmness bursting as he moves away and we are announced as newly weds.

We join our hands and pray to god for our new relation to flourish. Then the elders one by one gives us their blessings.

Kabir doesn't look happy at all. What he must be going through? I wanted to see the happy face he showed me earlier this day, but he has nothing left, his face is devoid of any emotion. This hurts me and I say to myself, 'welcome to his life Aarohi'.

I will have to face this hurt every day of my life now. And as ready as I seemed, am I now?

Where I should be feeling power bearing his name, I feel myself weakening after we married. Or am I over thinking? I will have to become his strength and how am I going to do that if I don't have my own core strong enough!

While I am walking away from him to get ready for my Vidaai, I stare back at him and find him looking at me from under his long lashes.

And once again I see him confused and broken and a trace of guilt covers his eyes. But this is enough for me that there lies no regret in those orbs.

Sach hai ke dil toh dukha hai, hamne magar socha hai
Dil ko hai gham kyon, aankh hai nam kyon
Hona hee tha jo huwa hai
Uss bat ko jane bhee do, jiska nishan kal ho naa ho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kabir.

I stand with my dad near the car, waiting for Aarohi to come. It will take time for me to accept that she is my wife now. I have seen the innocent love for me in her eyes throughout the evening.

I have taken a vow to not let my past affect my present and my future. I will try to move on and fail if I might, I will try harder.

My dad keeps his hand on my shoulder and I smile at him.

"I am proud of you my son. I know you will handle all your responsibilities very well"

My dad is coolest of all dads and when he is emotional it means he needs a hug.

"Come here dad!" I hug him tight and smile. Just as god have given me the best family, I am trusting god that he has given me the best wife too. I glance at Aarohi who is walking towards us, with a small procession of her closed ones. My eyes gets wet as I watch her cry and throw the puffed white rice over her head.

"Dad, ...?"

Dad answers my unasked question even before I could voice it.

"You see she is leaving her good wishes for her family to be a part of yours. Remember Kabir. She is leaving her loved ones behind and hereafter whatever she wants, wherever in trouble she is or if she needs support and love, she will look up to you Kabir. We are all here for her but its you who is responsible for her happiness. You are going to be her whole world. Never let her down son."

"I realize so dad. Thanks." I nod at him.

"Acha batao, if the ladies argue, who will you side with? Your wife or your mom?"

"Dad!" I roll my eyes at him.

"Arrey, saas bahu conflicts you know? Ghar ghar ki kahaani" Dad asks me and I chuckle.

My smile dies the moment I set my eyes on Aarohi's face. She is trying hard to swallow the overwhelming lump of emotions. As one by one her family hugs her, she cries silently. My eyes lock with my uncle and he blinks at me.

I open a door of my car, and helps her get in.

"She is entrusted to you Kabir. Take care of our princess" her jiju speaks to me and I hug him while her sister kisses her forehead and closes the car door.

"Khayal rkhna apna" her sister hugs me and I smile at her. She is always so sweet to me, like my own sister.

As I get into the car, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I am tempted to check it out but my dad gives a horn from the car behind us which will be following ours.

I start the car and Aarohi takes a deep breath.

As I drive ahead, I keep glancing at her. She is still silent and the tears are still leaving their reminiscences.

Tum ho gham ko chupaye,
mai hu sar ko jhukaye
Tum bhee chup ho, mai bhi chup hu, kaun kise samjhaye.....

I fetch my handkerchief from my pocket and offer her.

She gets hold of it and I don't let go when she pulls it. Her eyes meet mine and I turn back to driving leaving the handkerchief in her hand.

Abb duriya itanee hain toh, milna yaha kal ho naa ho .....

"Thanks" she says after clearing her throat.

"Tomorrow we'll visit your folks, you know" I side glance at her and she absent mindedly plays with her bangles.

"hmm"

My eyes stare at those bangles and then at our wedding ring. God I am married! This is hard to believe yet.

As my eyes move back to the road, she keeps my handkerchief at the dashboard and her nails distract me.

A grin appears on my face remembering how she had dug it in my skin during the Varmala. She might have noticed me staring at her nails because even she is smiling now and I am proud to share smiles with my wife!

As we reach home, my mother is just waiting outside with few of our closed relatives to welcome us. She helps Aarohi out through the car door and I step out of the car from my side.

As I walk around the car with my dad, I tell him.

"Dad?"

"Say it"

"I would chose my wife. Because mom has you."

He laughs and thumps on my back. "Shabaash!"

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
*click on the screen and hit the star at the bottom of your screen to vote*

Hope you all are doing well in your lives. Thank you for supporting me throughout the minor writers block. I am happy I did something productive and updated.

Guess my creativity comes back only when exams are near 😁😂😂 got exams from 9th so the next update comes next to next week hopefully.

Until then fill me in with your thoughts on this update.
Please vote and comment. I missed being here.

Love always,
Sue 👻