||~~The Brewer's Girl~~||

????Photographs????

☺Chapter - 40☺

❤Dedicated to @Zephyr_57 as a birthday present🙈 I know I'm late but I love you❤

Disclaimer: I don't in any way promote drinking.

Aashna.

It has been a month that I have been wondering how can someone be so fudging irritating and at the same time makes me want to spend more time with him.

"Ah! I might go crazy!"

"Wait! Aren't you already?" That irritating fellow, yes him! He is sitting right beside me on the sofa in Yash's flat while we watch the TV. It's a movie date with my two gay friends. Yes two. Rakshit has warmed my heart and now we are friends but at times like these with his irritating comments and stupid smiles I feel like kicking him! Throughout Kukkie's engagement and wedding ceremonies last month, this guy has made sure that he provokes me enough to drive me crazy, whether it was him spoiling my Heena clad hands or my dance performance. I mean it was my sister's wedding and he fudging made me look like an outsider while he enjoyed the special treatment by my parents. They have high hopes that we're dating since I spend most of my time with these guys ever since Kukkie left. She is now on her honeymoon in Chicago and well I do miss her. Yash is mostly busy in restaurants doing his chef business and I am stuck with this boyfriend of his whose smile is weird no more but has gotten idiotic.

"Won't you shut your mouth and just watch?" I throw a popcorn at him.

He catches it in his open mouth and starts chewing with extra deliberate efforts. His eyes narrowed at my face and I can't help but find him creepy!

"What?"

"Tell me one thing Aashna. You do enjoy spending time with me right? You get to blame me, waste your all energy fighting with me, burst your anger at me whenever you're off and basically I am serving as a good resource to take all your frustration out!"

He cocks his eyebrows and I avert my eyes. Well yes he is right. That's what I do. I come to this jobless Rakshit to spend my days and at nights I write till I sleep. My sleep hasn't got better though. I still have dreams that remind me of him and many a times I wake up crying. But the good thing is that the night I first smiled because of Rakshit and his lucky Stone, I stopped attacking myself in my sleep.I don't claw at my skin like crazy. Rakshit and I usually spend our day watching TV or playing board games. He likes to take a lot of selfies with ofcourse those creepy Snapchat filters and god knows why but I do find myself joining him in whatever he does. In the evening we both go to dance classes since I have some weight to lose and he well he is there with me because probably he has nothing to do. Hopeless and jobless guy but yes he does make me smile at a lot of occasions and that is why even if he is irritating, I keep up with him.

"yep" I pop the p and he is back to his fun self and pretends to die.

I roll my eyes.

He comes back to life, shifts closer to me and then tucks my hair, "selfish, mean, heartless girl"

I smile sarcastically, "I wish I was heartless so that I couldn't feel this resentment."

"Oh well have you tried this new heart filter?" He asks me with his puppy eyes, scrolling down on my phone. He intentionally ignored my comment.

"You're not taking pictures on my phone!" I warn him.

"Oh yes I am! Mine's charging." He says and begins his favourite chore of the day. I stare at him helplessly.

"How can you be so self obsessed? Yash bhi na tere chakkar me bura phasa hai" I shake my head. "Narcissist"

"Oh shut it Aashna, I bet one day you'll be the one writing Yash aur meri prem kahaani!" He says, posing and pouting in front camera.

"Whatever" I roll my eyes and shift away from him. At times when he is excited he also gets clingy and I hate him the most at those moments.

"Let's take selfies" he jumps closer to me excitedly and starts clicking selfies.

"Don't do that yaar!" I poke him in his ribs and he makes a cry baby face.

First I hate myself at my current body situation and my oily face. Second photographs are too much for me. I mean once a great photographer, Kabir Malhotra has taken my pictures, I don't find any of my pictures good whether shot by Kukkie who is herself good at taking pictures or in selfies.

Argh! But he won't stop now so I better give a fake smile to satisfy him.

"You're no fun Aashna!" He says sadly and I stare at him in shock. After taking so many snaps and me cooperating politely, this is what he says?

"Give it back!" I round my eyes on him.

"Why?" He gives his evil smile and that annoys me even more.

"Give back my phone Rakshit!" I try hard having my phone back from him as he defends himself. It has turned ugly and more like a cat fight but I want my phone back and also I'll have to take revenge. So I grab the phone finally and run around the sofa with Rakshit tailing behind me. I send his worst snap to my status and and then again my phone is out of my reach into his hands.

"This is so childish!" I shout.

"Acha? Then what is it?" He points to the screen at my status and attempts to delete it. I take this opportunity to again have my phone and in the process of snatching it our pictures are sent to Lily by mistake.

"I need to set a new password! Uff!" I clean my phone screen on my shirt and then curse at him before walking to the door.

"Where are you going? Stay back na, Yash will bring some yummy food tonight" he tries tempting me but I don't know what is wrong with me, I feel like running away.

"Keep some for me in the fridge. I will eat tomorrow. Bye."

I rush out of the flat and my eyes land on the flat across where I used to live and where Kabir and I first felt those feelings towards each other.

If only he knew how much I miss him. If only I wasn't jinxed and unlucky.

I sigh and after sparing some seconds into staring at empty space, I take the stairs and exit. Exit from the fresh memories that barged in just like I did from his life.

Do I exist in his heart or have I exited?

Kabir.

It has been long that I have visited Porterhouse brewery. I did go to other pubs but coming here when Lily and Vladimir are not present just felt empty. Now that they are back I feel nostalgic coming here.

"Hey man! Wassup?" Vladimir shows too much affection sometimes. I push him away when he hugs me tightly.

"You smell awful!" I blurt out and for a second he stares at me with funny eyes.

"Screw you man!" He mutters in his funny accent and takes a seat beside me on the counter.

"Not that I'm already screwed!"

"Ooh! Why? New wifey not warming your bed lately?" He grins at me and I give him one of those expressions saying, 'seriously?'

"Shut it Vladimir!" I lean on my folded hands on the counter.

He breaks out into laughter. "so that's it indeed!"

"Do you wanna die?" I glare at him.

"Sure". He laughs some more and then sobers up. "But let's have a beer before you plan on killing me" he winks at me and looks at his wife Lily with admiration. I follow his gaze and as if she knew it already that he'd be needing something, I see her walking towards us. She is glowing beauty as usual and I see some purple layers in her hair.

"What's with your hair?" I cock my eyebrows at her and she just shrugs. "I love the color."

Vladimir places a kiss behind her ear as she leans forward to him and I sigh.

"Get me something strong."

She looks at me in surprise. Yes I never get too much drunk ever but today I don't know why I am tired and disappointed in myself. I was to get a very important project and a month long hard work I have done to participate in that just went down the drain this afternoon. Apparently they did not find my work good enough, said I used to be good but not anymore. Rising from nothing to worst and from bad to good, I am still not good enough? Heck! I know one month can't bring that magic back what even a year couldn't bring in me. But I am trying and I have full support from Aarohi. But I do something that even Aarohi can't help much! So after a terrible day when I feel like a loser, I'm allowed to drink, I decide.

"That lad needs it bad. Bring it up darling." Vladimir says on my behalf as I had dozed off.

"Thanks" I smile a small smile at Lily when she places two big glasses in front of us.

"So how are things with Aarohi?" Lily asks me.

"Ah!" I take a gulp and close my eyes on the familiar taste of stout beer. This is more stronger than I have had for it's alcoholic contents are a great deal fantastic.

"She is great!"

With my short answer, neither of them says much.

I decide to divert the topic.

"How did your honeymoon go back in India?"

Thankfully they both start to fill me in for what they did and what did they not do in India. Vladimir talks a lot more than Lily and he does go on details that I have no interest in hearing. I am assured that now I won't have to speak much once Lily and Vladimir starts arguing on something. While they banter, my mind is somewhere else. No matter how much I try to control my feelings and try not to hurt Aarohi, I end up doing the same. Why am I the one who gets to have a bad day?

This morning Aarohi and I had a dirty fight over a doormat! The other day she scold me for putting the wet towel on the sofa and I ended up blurting that Aashna used to scold me like this and there goes my wife. All silent and distant. I don't mind being on myself but it is unsettling to upset someone who cares about you so much. I broke the new crockery that she bought. I messed up her dressing table. I brought muddy shoes inside the hall. I came late. I did this and that! All blames on me. Sure now I understand what married life is like.

And sadly, I have always dreamt of having these fights with the one I love. Aarohi is good,attractive, intelligent and sweet. But how can I love her? I only want one girl to reside in my heart, the one that I love so much. Still! Still when she pushed me away. She will never exit my heart.

"Kabir?" I come out of my thoughts again and drink the rest of the beer in one go.

"I'm sorry I zoned out" I look back at them guiltily.

"You're the one who asked how was our honeymoon and now that I describe our sweet time, you don't listen" Vladimir accuses. "Unbelievable fellow!"

"Aye. Stop let him gather his thoughts. 'nother shot?" Lily doesn't probe. That's the best thing about her.

"Sure" I smile at her gratefully.

When she leaves to get my refill Vladimir grabs her phone kept on the counter and starts to show me some pictures they probably took on their honeymoon.

"Look at this!" He stares onto the screen and I curiously have a look only to find an Indian village women preaching the cow. I sigh and then look at his wonder filled expression while shaking my head at him.

"Oh! And look" he again points to a picture where there are village ladies with huge veils on their head.

"Why do they hide their faces? Are they able to see from inside?" He asks me amazed.

"Didn't you ask them?" I smirk at him.

"Vlad can you com'ere and help me?" Lily calls him and he is still pondering about the fact.

"I should have asked them." He mumbles to himself and then leaves to help Lily. They are amusing people. Lily and Vladimir.

Lily comes back to give me my beer and leaves as quickly as she came. She has to be quick in order to run this pub where there are always people coming.

Her phone buzzes beside me and I pick it up from where Vladimir left it.

"Oh Lily your phone....." But then one name on her screen takes my breathe away and the world comes to a cease. Well ofcourse I knew Lily and Aashna had been in contact but now that I hold this phone, now that I see Aashna's name on the screen, is it wrong to be curious? It is tempting enough for me to open the message that is just a touch away from being seen by me. But it is Lily's phone and I can't open this message. Why now? If I see something related to her again when I have tried hard to move on with my life, I'd again lose it. This is why I always refrained from asking questions about Aashna to Lily in the first place.

It has been a long time that I know not anything about her. I still want her to be well and happy. I am tempted to know what's her life like? How is she doing?

I peek a glance at Lily who is busy with customers and Vladimir who is pouring some beer at the other counter. I quickly grab my drink and step out to the backdoor of the brewery, Lily's phone hideously clutched in my hand. Even if it hurts I will see that damn message.

After walking several blocks I lean on the wall in a small alley and bring the mobile in front of my face. My heart stammering in my chest, I dare to open the inbox and the first thing that strikes me is her smile. Although it looks forced, it is still maddeningly bright, blinding my all other senses. She seems like someone doing good. Without me. I start to breath hard and to calm my raging heart, I pour all that drink in my mouth. So much that I almost choke. I look at her again. Her eyes. Her smile. Her lips. Her face. How much have I missed her. Sure she has changed a lot from last time I saw her. She still manages to flutter my heart in a strange way. This is the person that I want to wake up next to and sleep with after a tiring day. This is the person that I want to love like there is no tomorrow. My emotions and my feelings all get hard on my head and I take another full drink from the glass.

My eyes focus on Aashna and then beside her there is a man. He looks like a person having a decent background. He looks crazy. The type of fun person she would like to be with. Is he the one who makes her happy these days?

"Hahaaa!" I start laughing and I am not sure whether it's because of my boring fate or because she rejected me and found a new person. Ever since she did, everyone's doing the same. Rejecting me.Be it my love life or work life.

"Hahah"! I shake my head and again clear my vision to look at the photograph.

They are sitting close beside each other. I sense her comfortability. I wish she would be fluid enough to crawl from inside that picture to me so that I can make her the most comfortable. "Don't I look better than this guy sitting with you Aashna?"

Seriously what does she think of him so good to hang out with him and sending pictures to random people.

"Bolo! Bolti kyu nahi?" I stare with my mouth open at the mobile screen.

The glass slips from my hand and ends up breaking on the road.

"Ah! See what you do to even things now? You break them Aashna. Just like you did with my heart. You broke it!" My eyes begins to get tired as I murmur slowly. It sure hurts. Seeing her so happy taking selfies with guys and here I am, still crying for her.

"Kuch nahi hai na tumhare pas bolne ko? Am I not even worth that?" I slide down the wall behind me on the street and swallow the emotions building in my throat.

"Oh haan! Tum kese bologi? You're inside that still photograph right?" I realize she can't speak from the phone. In my drowsy state I nod my head up and down, right and left and it makes my head go round more. Then I bang my head on the wall behind me from the back of my head.

"Right right!" I repeat the process, nodding and stretching my neck muscles. It feels good. It feels like I am losing control.

"Tum mat bolo! Suno! Sirf suno!" I raise my eyebrows at her picture. "I hate intruders!aaah!" I narrow my eyes at the guy beside her. "Chal tu bhi sunle" I cling my head to one side and try hard to not blink so much. They don't blink in the picture. I won't blink too.I widen my eyes and stare at the picture.

"I..." I choke on my words and after a while when I am done nodding my head and feeling dizzy I again try to whisper.

"I love you Aashna." I grin at her.

"But it didn't matter and it doesn't matter to you. You go and hangout with such guys who sit close to you" I stare at the space between them and glare at the person next to her.

"Itne pas!" I widen my eyes and then scowl at him. How dare he sit so close to her.

I shake my head in no. "Nahi chalega! Ummh huh!" I Pick on some pieces of broken glass on the street beside me.

I begin counting the number of shards.

"Loving you."

"Missing you"

"Crying over you"

"Wishing it was you"

"Dreaming you"

I gather those pieces and throw them away from me. "Yeh sab nahi chalega!"

I chuckle to myself. After staring at those pieces, I collect some more.

"I am married!"

"I have a sweet wife!"

"Loving her"

"Missing her"

"smiling for her"

"Yearning for her"

"Making her dreams come true"

I bring them close to my eyes and show them to the Aashna in front of me. "Yeh sab chalega" I chuckle again and try to stand up, putting those broken glass pieces in my pocket.

"I will show you how to move on Aashna Mathur!"

Balancing myself on my own two feet never felt this difficult. "But I, Kabir Malhotra is never quite drunk!" I yell proudly and manage to start walking back to the pub. The people around me gives me weird looks and I wave at them all.

"Kabir where have you been?" Vladimir grabs me as soon as I step inside the pub again. I spot Lily behind the counter and walk up to her with my wavered steps.

"Are you drunk badly?" She asks worriedly and I lean closer to her. "Shhh.tell her to wait and watch."

She rounds her eyes on me in alarm.

"Who are you talking about?" She asks me.

I feel like chuckling a lot so I let lose myself and wave goodbye to her.

"Kabir wait!" She calls behind me and Vladimir catches me when I am about to fall down while trying to turn around to face Lily again.

I had deleted the messages so Lily won't know anything. "Do you want me to drop you home and explain to your wife?" Vladimir offers and I shake my head vigorously. Strangely it makes me dizzy but it's a good feeling. So I do it again, shaking my head a lot and then I look up to Vladimir, concern written over his face. "I'll find my way, you go find your warm bed tonight" I wink at him and tread on my own feet while stepping out of the proximity of the pub.

"I'll show her how to move on! I will!" I start walking to the bus stand, chuckling on my way.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

*click on the screen and hit the star at the bottom of your screens to vote*

I was going to name this chapter as daruuuu 😂 but then it'd be so unprofessional of me🙈haha
Any guesses what is going to follow?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below and don't forget to vote.😸

Love always,
Sue😘