||~~The Brewer's Girl~~||

👼Hope👼

☺Chapter - 36☺

❤Dedicated to The_storyteller12 . Happy Birthday my doll❤

Aarohi.

"Kabir I want to go out with you!" I sigh as the fork drops to the plate soundly. My patience breaks at last and he stares up at me, taken aback.

It has been a week and a half that we are here in Dublin and I haven't stepped out of the house ever since. Kabir took me to the hospital last Monday, my formalities are done and from next week I will be joining the work. I still have a few days left and I am so done with living inside these four walls!

"I know, but you see I am needed at the studio and I can't take an off in these crucial days." He speaks from where he is sat opposite me.

"Fine!" I gather his plate along with mine and walk back into the kitchen, dumping them into the washer.

"Aarohi, C'mon we've been so good past week, don't throw a fit, I will try and get an off next weekend?" He follows behind me and I dunno why but this elevates my already upset mood. First he comes home late and I have to stay in all day all alone, waiting for him. And now he don't want to see me getting upset!

"Well then take me to that studio of yours!" I scowl and turn around to face him. "I want to hang outside to cut this boredom I feel in here without you."

"I'm sorry I leave you alone but work has been so crazy lately, that..."

"Yeah yeah! You don't shoot these days right? What is keeping you so busy?" I fire back and immediately feel mean! The expression on his face becomes hard and my heart beats with dread. I shouldn't have said that.Shit what's wrong with me?

He doesn't meet my eyes and starts walking back.

"Kabir, I didn't mean it that way, listen..."

"Leave me alone." He speaks with finality and turns around to walk into the bedroom. I stare as he disappears, shutting the door effectively.

"Uff Aarohi! What have you done!" I didn't want to step on his nerve. Now he is really upset and as much as I wanted him to feel bad for leaving me alone, I didn't want it this way.

He is already struggling with his career at this age and now here I am! Adding to his worries. Why did I utter that aloud?

My head starts to ache and I breathe in deeply. I start with cleaning the dishes to calm my mind before I go talk to him again more rationally.

I follow my night routine, drinking my Soy Protein shake, dimming the lights in the hall and replying to some of the subscriptions on my health website. But all this while my mind can't concentrate. Making someone upset snatches away your peace. But making someone you love, upset, makes you sad too.

Did he really expect me to leave him alone. I am not here to follow his commands. He has a wife now and I am with him in both good and bad days. I can't bear it anymore. He had enough time alone. I quickly treat the glass of shake in the washer and switch off the kitchen lights. As I walk towards the bedroom I can hear the faint strum of the guitar chords. When I step inside the room cold winds strike me, making me shiver. The balcony door is open and the low strums are more regular now.

I find him sitting outside in the cold, with a guitar close to his heart as his fingers work on the strings. It is a soft and slow song. I shiver again in the cold while my heart churns in a strange feeling. Staring at him sitting with this terrible grimace I realize how lonely he feels. Eventhough I am beside him, he never allows me to get closer. Aren't all the people in this world are afraid of being left alone? If I complain about being left alone, what can be more lonely than working and living among people and still feel like a loner. That is what has become of him.

It hurts to see his saddened condition. He smiles and pretends to be normal. But I feel he is not! He needs someone yet he fights to be left alone.

"You think you can sail alone in this boat don't you?"

I ask him. He stops playing the song and looks over his right shoulder. "You're not that strong Kabir. It is perfectly fine to want someone to make it through". I watch him as he gulp down his emotions and then turns around to face me.

"Get inside, You'll fall sick again" his voice comes out plain, his posture proud of being able to hide his emotions. But his eyes tell me he cares.

"I made it through my fever because you were there with me. Doesn't matter if I have another week of flu, I know you'll take care of me." I stare in his eyes and he drops his gaze to his guitar. "Your wish" he sighs.

"You get inside. I don't want you to catch cold. If you fall sick sure I'll be there for you too but I know you'll not allow me to take care of you."

I speak out to him and step closer to where he is sat. He stands up to my height and peeks at me from under his beautiful lashes. "I was here to stop feeling. The cold numbs the mind." He takes a deep breath and turns away from me. I smile at his back. Like really? I let my arms engulf him from behind and back hug him.

"You can't stop feeling Kabir. You have a warm heart." I can sense him getting uncomfortable. I rest my forehead at his back. "Why don't you allow me to take care of you Kabir? Please don't cut me out from your life. I told you I am here to stay. I am here...."

"I am not afraid that you will hurt me Aarohi. I know you are there for me and that you love me." His hands find my hands around his torso. He untangles from my arms and turns around to face me. I let my hands fall at my side, feeling a overwhelming gulp forming in the back of my throat. He picks up his guitar and looks at me. I don't meet his eyes as I stare at my hands.

"Just give me some space."

He tells me and exits.

Wasn't that What I've been doing all this time?

I follow him inside and catch a glimpse of him shutting the door of the washroom. I sigh!

Closing the balcony door and the curtains I switch off the lights and get into the bed. I feel the bed dip beside me as Kabir lies beside me.

My head still aches and I prepare myself to sound casual as I swallow my emotions down my throat.

"I have given you all the space you want Kabir. But I ask you to give me some space."

"You have all the space in my life. Why don't you sleep?"

He replies, with his obvious nonchalant voice.

I turn into the bed facing him as he is resting on his back with an arm covering his eyes.

"I know but I want some space in your heart too. And if you can't do that just don't close the door at my face. Let me step in, I will make my own space."

I stare at him in the dimmed lights, laying close to me. How many times I have wished that he will just embrace me and accept the idea of us. But this little distance between us on the bed seems to be never fading.

But then I knew things would be like this between us before marrying him. I didn't love him for wanting something in return. Then why do my selfless love expect acknowledgement from his heart? I should only be hoping for acceptance.

With a longing look in my eyes I wait for his reply. Instead comes a smile on his face. He removes his arm from his eyes and looks sideways at me.

"Ok I will try harder to open up"

I was expecting another command to sleep but this is new. My heart skips a beat and I smile at him.

"You're a good person Aarohi." He murmurs. I drop my eyes to his hands and then after a slight hesitation holds it in mine. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier about your work."

He just sighs and then places his other hand at our joined hands on his torso. He stares at the ceiling in the dark.

"I am lost Aarohi." He finally speak up about what is going on with him. I draw my eyes from our hands to his eyes.

"It's like I have become homeless. I am trying to find my way but this world suddenly has become nothing but a big maze." He stares into my eyes, his own shadowed with helplessness. "I dunno where to go. I am stuck."

I purse my lips and shake my head a little. He is still staring at me as if finding his answers.I take his one arm and then settles on it using it like a pillow. I am wary of him as he is looking at me but nevertheless I snuggle close to him, resting my head on his arm, each of our one hand still holding onto each other.

"Start hoping for a better tomorrow. Because it is hope that gives the courage to face all the odds." I whisper slowly to him. I wanted to speak more about what he went through but I don't think it is the right time. I want him to go on talking and not wrap himself close again.

His eyes waters as he keeps staring at me unblinkingly.

"I don't feel alive, one heartbreak has made me so miserable. Everything is falling apart." His voice tears up and I squeeze his hand shaking my head.

"Love is the most powerful emotion known to us along with hope. If love can make the world go round,hope can make us go on forever. I love you Kabir. Can you trust my love for you?" His eyes blink at me and his breath fans my face. It is then I realize this is the closest we have ever come.

"Trust me Kabir, we will together pick up those shattered pieces which makes you who you are." I smile at him reassuringly. He nods at me and with my free hand I caress his face, dreading he will pull away. But he doesn't. His eyes are still on me and my heart beats quicken.

"You're being this good because you want to go out with me aren't you?"he narrows his eyes at me and I laughs softly at his attempt to make the moment light. "yes that too" I lean forward to peck his cheek and wish him good night. He holds on to my hand, staring at the ceiling and I close my eyes in his arms, living the best moment of my life. I send a quick grateful prayer to the God and wish for a Beautiful day tomorrow.

I can feel his eyes on me again after a minute. He whispers a "thanks".

I open my eyes and roll them at him making sure he gets the message. He quirks his eyebrow up.

"Few nights before you came and said sorry. Tonight you're saying thanks. Dosti ka asool hai Mister, no...." But he doesn't let me complete it.

"Cliché line! Shut it Aarohi. I thought you weren't so much into movies." He mocks.

"I have watched this particular movie and wait what? So you knew I am not much into movies still you used to take me to the movies back in India?" I ask him with wide eyes and he averts his gaze, clearly being guilty.

I leave his hand not missing to poke in his ribs once. "Ow!" He zeroes his gaze on me in surprise and then pulls on his arm on which I was comfortably resting my head.

"Umm...will you sleep on it all night?" he asks me and then I realize he opened up to me a little, but did! "I don't intend on giving you cramps" I nod and shift back to my pillow, but not leaving the same distance which used to be between us every night.

"You play very well" I tell him.

"What?"

"The guitar. You're good at it" I smile at him and he gives me one of those half smiles which says he is not convinced but still grateful. "Thanks"

"Good night" wishing him, I close my eyes and starts replaying tonight's moments already.

"Good night" I can hear a smile behind his words. Today for the first time he made me feel like I have a husband to call mine, to be with and support him. The door's open and I will keep my promise and create a space for myself in his heart.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
*click at the screen and  hit the star at the bottom of your screens to vote*

It's great to see you lovelies after a month. May was hell busy and I dunno how June is going to be. But I am back at the story writing. Thank you so much for waiting for update, I know this was very short blurb, but something is better than nothing right! 🙈 no excuses. Next time it is going to be a regular long update, and while I am at it,do leave me your precious votes and comments. It would mean a lot to me.

Love always,
Sue😘

P.S. If time permits,do try reading the story Mending splinters at Zephyr_57 's profile.