Niall Horan Imagines

Broken (Request)

*CAUTION. Possibly triggering. Read at your own risk.*

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I felt like my chest was closing in on itself as I continued staring at myself in the mirror. I had never been really happy with my body or how I looked.

My tears continued to stream down my cheeks, taking the mascara I had attempted to make myself look better with along, too.

I got tired of seeing my puffy, red face and looked down at my scars. A loud sob escaped my mouth, and I panicked for a few seconds; it was three in the morning, and Niall was asleep in the room across the hall.

My scars screamed at me once more as I calmed down. I didn't want Niall waking up and worrying. What I was going through, no one could cure.

The lines running across my skin that I had tried to hide begged at me, but I shook my head.

"I can't," I whispered to myself. If I did it now, Niall would definitely see in the morning. I had been clean for two months. I had been good.

Somehow, this sent me deeper, and I found myself with the razor in my hands. My fingers shook with insanity, and I contemplated going through with or not.

Right as I was about to press the horrible blade onto my skin, I let go. I sobbed into myself, grateful I didn't do it.

"Paris?" I heard Niall say behind me. I was sat on the closed toilet seat.

"Niall," I jumped, sniffling. "Why are you awake?" I stalled, dropping the razor into the garbage right below my hands, hoping he wouldn't see it.

"What are you doing?" Somehow, he looked more hurt than I felt at that moment.

"I wasn't-" He came close to me, grabbing both of my hands and turning them towards him.

"When was the last time you did this?" he asked me, sounding broken.

"Two months ago," I answered, not meeting his eyes.

"This isn't the answer!" he yelled. I flinched, gazing up at him.

"I want you to talk to me," he rephrased. I shook my head.

"Words don't really come out when I'm this upset," I spoke, hugging myself.

"Then don't talk," he whispered, pulling me into his chest. His warmth spread onto me, and I sighed, feeling safe.

He took me back to bed, cradling me in his arms. I had finally found an escape to my problems and worries.

"It hurts me so much to see you this upset, love," he whispered into my hair right before I fell asleep. I wished that I could have seen how much I loved and needed him so much sooner.

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thank you to ParisLadonna for requesting this!

I do not encourage cutting, just so you know. this wasn't the easiest for me to write.

thanks for reading! please leave a comment of what you thought. if you would like an imagine, let me know in the comments as well.

I love you guys so much, and I think I'm finding time to update everyday again! :D

Mel xx