Niall Horan Imagines

You (Request)

*Might be triggering. Just a warning.*

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I really didn't know how to do anything anymore. I was hurting people around me that I loved, and I hated myself for it.

My tears mixed with the water as I finished washing my hair. I stepped out of the shower, trying to dry my eyes. I sobbed as I got dressed and dried my hair, wondering what I could do to feel happy and good again.

I had lived with what I thought was some sort of depression for a long time. It wasn't like it was a scheduled thing; it came and went as it pleased. Sometimes I would spend three hours laughing and having fun with my friends, but then I'd come home and cry myself to sleep. It was random and painful.

I walked out of the bathroom, going back to my room to sit down at the computer and waste my life. I just wanted to forget about everything.

I grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen before I did that, my throat resembling sandpaper.

Niall entered the kitchen, and I quickly averted my eyes, trying to hide my tears.

"Hey," I spoke up, not facing him. He opened a cupboard as I attempted to make it out of there. He let out a noise of confusion, and I couldn't stop myself from letting him see me. I had never told him about the way I felt on my darkest nights.

"What's wrong?" he wondered just above a whisper. I felt my throat close a little more as I prevented sobbing, and I looked away from his gaze to gather my thoughts.

"It's nothing," my lips moved, but that wasn't what I had wanted to say. I was so caught up in the fact that he probably wouldn't care, but at the same time, who else could I tell?

He stared at me, raising an unconvinced eyebrow. I immediately broke down into tears, rushing into his arms as they welcomed me.

"I don't know what to do anymore!" I cried, feeling him only grip me tighter. I buried my face in his shoulder, knowing I would have to explain.

He pulled away once I had stopped shaking, and he squeezed my forearms as a signal to speak up.

"I just. . .everything's so stressful and stupid lately, and it's put me in a really crap mood. You know," I sighed, feeling his hands run down my arms to my own hands, lacing our fingers together. I breathed steadily, putting more words together in my throat as it slowly opened again.

"I'm being a jerk to everyone, and I know they hate me for it, but i'm too caught up in my own thoughts and feelings that I. . ." I lost my train of thought as I remembered the feeling of hopelessness in the shower. Sometimes I thought about ending it, but I knew I was too chicken to go through with my dark thoughts.

"I don't know how to feel or what to do," I shrugged, and I felt him wipe the tears from my cheeks before they could slip down my chin.

"This will all work out," he spoke up, his voice and deep and rich as it often was at night or early in the morning when neither of us could sleep.

"I don't know-" I started, tilting my head towards my shoulder.

"It will," he told me with optimism. I always wanted to capture his light and wisdom, however, it soared to high that the sun that was his happiness blinded me as I melted into the depths of the earth. I could never seem to match his energy or finesse, and that lowered my self-esteem further and further.

"I can't see past this veil of tears," I whimpered, walking into his chest and leaning my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that for a few minutes, countless seconds of blank minds and soft touches.

"Find something to put your passion into, even if it's the stupidest thing in the world. Distract yourself with that and make it your life for a while so you can forget everything else," he mumbled into my ear. I took in a shaky breath as I thought about his words, and then I put a smile on my face and pulled back to meet his welcoming eyes.

"I choose you," I let out, watching his smile rise through his and my darkness, making my heart beat for the first time in a while.

"Even if you're the stupidest thing in the world," I smirked, hearing his laugh as soon as mine bubbled to the surface. And for that tiny moment, I felt the smallest inkling of happiness slip back into my heart, and I smiled even wider.

Everything really would be alright.

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thanks to CutiepieLucy21 for requesting this! so sorry for the wait, but i hope you liked it!

thanks to you guys for reading, and i hope you'll continue reading when these imagines move to my second book even though you probably wont

THANKS BYE

Mel xx