Devil Beside Me#Jamlessawards2k18 #DNAandDimpleAwards #LMBAS #youngforeverawards

Giving up

Suga came down the stairs the next morning, his eyes instantly searched the room for Lonna. He stood on the steps and watched her stare into her empty plate like it held all the answers she was seeking. They had spent most of the night in the park, but they still hadn’t worked anything out. It made Suga feel horrible. The silence of the room was interrupted as the house phone started to ring. Suga quickly started to descend the stairs as to not get caught staring.

Pamela stopped cooking and quickly rushed to grab the phone off its’ hanger. Lonna had snapped out of her trance and moved from her chair to do the same but stopped when she came face to face with Suga. They both stared at each other. Lonna could feel her heart start to beat faster as she looked into his dark chocolate eyes. A couple of unruly strains of his blonde hair tried to obstruct her view, but it didn’t work. She could also feel her heart ache as they looked at each other. She loved him being so close, but he felt so far away at the same time.

“I’ll get it!” Pamela yelled to halt Mr. Min from grabbing the phone before her. She smiled in his direction as she answered the phone and held it against her ear. “Hello?” Lonna and Suga didn’t stop staring as they both listened to her silence on edge. They could both feel that this call was going to be more than just a simple morning chat. As Pamela listened to the caller talk, the color seemed to drain from her face as her heart thumped with worry. “I understand.” She said before hanging up the phone and resting it under her chin.

Mr. Min was concerned about the worry he could see on Pamela’s face. “It’s so early, who was it?”

“It was your mom.” Pamela’s answer made Lonna and Suga turn their eyes away from one another as they stared in the directions they were facing. Lonna felt the pain start to build in her chest as it became hard to breathe. They both knew this was coming, but they didn’t imagine it would be so soon.

“What’d she say?” Mr. Min asked as he straightened out his newspaper and started to skim the page once more.

Pamela ignored his question as she turned her concerned face to Suga’s back. “Yoongi, your grandmother called.”

Suga gulped nervously as he continued to face away from her. “I heard.” He made his way over to one of the dining table chairs and sat down as Lonna found she couldn’t move.

“What did she say?” Mr. Min asked again.

“She said that Seungwan’s family called.” She said nervously. She knew her husband wouldn’t take her next bit of news well and she worried that Suga would be the same. “They cancelled Yoongi and Seungwan’s engagement.” Suga and Lonna’s eyes went wide in fear.

Mr. Min made his way over to Pamela. “What’s going on? Did they say why?” Pamela shook her head no before moving to place the phone back in its’ place. Mr. Min looked over in Suga’s direction. “I thought you were getting along well. Didn’t you go to Incheon together?”

“They’re young. They’re hearts change easily.” Pamela spoke in Suga’s defense. Suga was frozen stiff with worry like Lonna, who had yet to move from the spot she was standing. “There’s nothing we can do.”

Mr. Min instantly made his way to his son’s side. He placed his hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. “Yoongi, don’t be sad.”

Suga looked over at his father with an annoyed expression. “Which of your eyes see me as sad?” He asked rudely. Lonna felt guilt well in her as she watched Suga and Mr. Min.

“Yoongi, disillusionment starts growth. Dad’s here. If you need to cry, come to me.” Mr. Min chose to take his son’s attitude as a way to cover up the sadness.

Suga shoved his father away from him as he attempted to hug him. He quickly stood up from his chair. “You don’t know anything.” No one said anything else to him as he left the house. Lonna was worried that this would send him over the edge but doubted he would appreciate her concern.

 

Lonna’s POV

“This is great. Seungwan withdrew voluntarily. This way, Suga’s grandmother won’t find out.” Krystal sounded so positive. But Lonna just couldn’t share the same emotions about the situation. “This is a win-win happy ending.”

“Another obstacle overcome.” Momo agreed.

“What’s wrong Lonna?” Krystal asked after noticing Lonna’s distant look. “I thought this is what you wanted.”

Lonna sighed. “I don’t know. If this is what I wanted, then why aren’t I happy?” The sound of heels clicking against the concrete in their direction made Lonna stop walking. Her stomach started doing nervous flips as she looked straight at Seungwan. The girl stood not far from them and stared straight at Lonna.

Lonna knew this was coming but now sitting across from Seungwan, she realized just how unprepared she was for it. “Unnie, I have something to give you.” She opened her purse and pulled out a small circular box. Lonna watched as she took the top off and placed it in front of her. She looked inside to see a small pale butterfly ring placed in the middle of several gold roses. She admired the way the stone shimmered in the light. “Yoongi dropped this. Can you return it for me?”

Lonna hesitantly grabbed the box. “Okay.”

“I think…this is a gift he wants to give to the person he likes.” Lonna looked sadly down at the ring. “If one day you meet the girl who wears this ring, can you teach her a phrase for me?” The question took Lonna by surprise, but the amount of guilt she felt made her agree. “Watashi wa eien ni eien ni mitai.” She said in Japanese. (Sorry I used google translate, so sorry if this isn’t right.)

“What does that mean?” Lonna asked.

“Just think of it…as an incantation for happiness.” Seungwan answered. She said the phrase again and Lonna copied her. Suddenly, Seungwan’s happy expression disappeared as she frowned. “Truth is, everyone knew of her existence, only I didn’t know. But now that I know, it shouldn’t be too late. Unnie?” Lonna could feel her guilt start to eat away at her as Seungwan gave her a half-hearted smile. She wanted to tell her the truth, but the fear of it being exposed was the only thing stopping her. “I created an awkward situation for everyone, didn’t I? Jisoo was right. I was too one-sided.”

“It’s not like that. You’re cute and everyone likes you.” Lonna said trying to cheer her up. “And…no one wants you to get hurt, including me and Yoongi.”

Seungwan finally gave her a small smile. “I feel…very lucky.”

“How is it lucky?” Lonna asked confused.

“It’s lucky that, although I didn’t find love, I gained a lot in friendship.” Seungwan explained. “I can feel everybody was trying to protect me and was overly hard on themselves. RM, Jisoo, and Yoongi.” Then she gave Lonna a genuine smile. “Especially unnie. You’re…so good to me.”

Lonna felt like she was breaking, but the fear of her reaction kept her from spilling the truth. Either way, she felt like a horrible person. “I’m not as good as you think I am. We withheld things from you, because we were selfish.”

“Though I’m not smart, I know everyone has their own reasons. They aren’t selfish.” Seungwan said.

Lonna couldn’t handle the innocent look in Seungwan’s eyes. Her dam was breaking. “Seungwan, I…” Lonna was ready to tell her everything.

“If it’s selfishness, then I’m the most selfish.” Seungwan interrupted. “I didn’t know about the problems in your hearts, and I was creating more problems. But now I want to give up.” Lonna couldn’t believe how easily she was taking all this. It made her feel like a monster the way she was taking it all as her fault. “it’s the only thing I can do, to help everyone resolve the problems.” She gave her a sad smile before getting up and leaving Lonna behind with her broken feelings. Lonna gripped the ring box tighter as tears of guilt ran down her cheeks.