Survival (A Naruto Fanfic) [Completed]

Part 8 ∞∞∞ Orochimaru-sama

I watched Orochimaru-sama kill the innocent man in front of my eyes by ripping his throat out. This is the way of life, isn't it? The stronger wins and chooses its pieces to control. The loser dies. That is final until a stronger emerges.

I am Orochimaru-sama's chess piece until he discards me, or until I rise victorious from his grasp. The world ran that way in my eyes.

Orochimaru-sama smirked at me and patted my head. Your turn. He motioned towards the little girl shivering beside the already dead body. The weather was cold. I couldn't blame her. She was only wearing her little yellow nightgown and her short hair gave no protection to her bare necks.

So vulnerable. I thought as I approached her.

"Please... help my father... please..." The little girl begged. She was about the same age as me.

"He's dead," I told her but she continued to shake her head and asked for help.

"My master killed him." I tried again but the little girl did not respond. I held out my hand to kill her but Orochimaru-sama suddenly called my name. I turned around to find him frowning at me.

"Orochimaru-sama?" I questioned him, ignoring the little girl's sobs.

"What does life mean to you, Yoru?" He asked, his sandy voice heartless and croaky. His question was also weird. What does life mean to me?

"Nothing," I replied but was surprised to find Orochimaru staring at me, hard.

"Kill the girl right now." He commanded and I turned to the girl. I widened my eyes in surprise as I found the girl trying to carry the dead man away. I approached the girl again and stretched out my hands.

*****

The blood trickled down my hand as I watched the girl's lifeless eyes close for eternity. I dropped the body and walked to Orochimaru-sama, who just looked at me.

"Do you understand how fragile life is now." He said it more like a statement than a question so I didn't answer.

"That is why we search for immortality. No matter how many lives are lost on the way, we will gain immortality." He said to me and walked back into the forest.

I turned around and examined the blood-stained village. It was like an empty abyss. Then, the first drop of coldness touched the tip of my nose. I looked up in surprise to find the sky dropping flakes of white. I turned to follow Orochimaru-sama, feeling my gaze slightly slide over the dead family we had killed.

Maybe it was because the village reminded me of my home which I never knew, or maybe the girl of a certain myself that could have been normal, or maybe the coldness of my own heart. However, because of whatever, I had felt something for the first time. A boiling feeling inside my chest. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The weak will lose everything and the strong will control everything. That was my motto for life.

That night I slept out under the sky and felt the cold flakes fall on my face. It was a beautiful moment.

Maybe it was because of what Orochimaru-sama had said that day, or maybe it was because of the little girl, that caused me to doubt my path.

I started to listen to the lives I will kill. I learned their hate, their disappointment, their fear. I learned about the outside world and the shinobi villages. I learned about Orochimaru-sama and Kabuto, even the Sound Four.

Most importantly, I learned about myself. Myself, who might have been someone else.

I began understanding the experiments they did on my body and my eyes. I learned what I was. A monster. An abandoned child. An instrument of darkness. An illicit.

I tried to control my power, to NOT kill. But that was impossible. More children, more women, more men were brought to me to be slaughtered. I'm the executioner that carries out the orders. No right, no wrong, no life, no death. Just blood.

I suppose that was what made me different, made me unapproachable, and made me inhumane. Blood. I didn't want it and I doubt it wanted me. But it was offered and forced upon me every day, every night. It leaked out of every person I saw and even my eyes are the colour of blood.

I was trained and taught by Orochimaru-sama each day as more lives were killed by my hands. I suppose it wasn't the pain of the experiments that drove me out. It was the blood. The Killing. The deaths. It was also Orochimaru-sama.

The Orochimaru-sama I first knew was harsh, emotionless, and strong. The strongest of all. He was my master and I was his puppet. I did everything for him and it was worth it. But then I learned more. I saw greater shinobi and learned why we had to hide in the forest. I couldn't understand. I refused to.

I started to doubt what I was doing and suddenly I wasn't his puppet anymore. I was just another experiment. I troubled over it every night and created myself. I wasn't even an experiment anymore. I was nothing.

I suppose my motto still stuck in my head after what I had learned. I couldn't face Orochimaru-sama. He wasn't my master anymore. He wasn't the strongest.

But maybe, secretly, somewhere I still admire him, or maybe even love him? He was my master and I was his puppet. He was my teacher and I was his experiment. He was my everything and I was his nothing. But that is the past.

A past I cannot wipe away.

Orochimaru-sama never bothered to chase me that night. He sent the other experiments and Kabuto. I wasn't worth his while. Yet I believed in him about Konohagakure and the outside. I thought about him and refused to spill his secrets. Yet did one thought of me slip through his mind?

It doesn't matter anymore, no one will understand anyway.