Survival (A Naruto Fanfic) [Completed]

Part 28 ∞∞∞ Cold

I slammed my fist onto the Hokage's office's door and I heard a muffled voice inside that called me to enter. I thumped the door open with the hilt of my sword and I looked into the office. The Hokage was sitting casually smoking a pipe with three people kneeling in front of him. Kakashi, Kurenai, the new jonin, and Asuma, his son. The three turned around in shock and widened their eyes when they saw the blood all over me. I glared at Kakashi and walked towards him. He stood up cautiously and held up one hand, motioning he wants to talk.

"Shut the s***." I said and Kakashi dropped his hand.

Before I opened my mouth to tell Kurenai and Asuma to f*** off, the two jumped in front of Kakashi, holding kunais. Protecting him? Pathetic. I can kill every one of you right now.

"Kurenai, Asuma, come here." The Hokage said and the two looked at him and nodded. At least someone knows. With a poof, they disappeared and was standing behind the Hokage, near his desk.

There was silence in the room.

"Kakashi..." I said slowly as I approached him, making sure I was quiet but so he heard me perfectly clearly.

"What, happened?" Kakashi said, trying to stay composed.

"I killed them," I said and Kakashi looked down at me, his eyes full of that emotion. Pity?

"You knew..." I whispered and gave him a punch in the stomach. Kakashi winced but he stood where he was. In front of me. Blocking me. So infuriating... I thought and gave him another, another, another, and another punch. But he stood there. I grabbed his mask and threatened to pull it down. He didn't move. I slammed him onto the wall and stared into his eye while giving him punches. He stared back and accepted it all.

"You pretended it was for the good of ME? You lied. LIARS. YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME. TOLD ME TO KILL THEM. YOU DON'T NEED TO LIE. YOU... I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME. I TRUSTED YOU AND I ONLY WENT WITH IT BECAUSE YOU ENCOURAGED IT. YOU EVEN TOLD ME... told me I should stop being alone..." I screamed at him and choked on my own words. These fake emotions... why are they getting to me... why do I care? 

Kakashi looked at me. His eyes looked so tattered, so sad. My red eyes reflected in his black ones, giving off an eerie light. I took out my sword and placed it on his throat. He didn't move. I pressed it in, almost ripping the fabric. Kakashi just looked at me. With those emotions.

And I lost.

"Yoru. It was for the villag-" The Hokage began to say but I gave him a glare and he took in a deep breath, understanding nothing he says will get to me now. I turned away from Kakashi and walked towards him. Kurenai and Asuma were almost shivering in fear.

"You... You make me kill them. You used me. JUST BECAUSE I KILL PEOPLE DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO. DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN USE ME LIKE THAT. DOESN'T MEAN THEY DESERVED TO DIE. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE DIFFERENT. BUT YOU ONLY DO THINGS TO MAKE THE PEOPLE HAPPY. YOU DON'T DO WHAT'S RIGHT. You do what... those... terrible... people... they... what they believe... You made me kill the twins... and Yura as well right? You could've told me to kill them... you didn't need to pretend to put me into their team... the twins... they did nothing wrong did they... just because... people don't like them... doesn't mean...they... die. They were experiment subjects... they... never had a choice..." I screamed at the Hokage but soon faltered when I remembered Kakashi standing behind me. Staring.

"Yoru..." Kakashi said, and I could feel him walk towards me. I let him and waited for what he wanted to say. To say it was for the greater good. To say the twins probably also did bad things, to say I shouldn't talk like that to the Hokage. But he kept walking. Walking. Walking. And he held me. He hugged me. It was cold. So cold.

"Kakashi... You know what to-" The Hokage said but I didn't hear the rest. We were already gone. After a while, Kakashi let go of me and I looked around. It was a lonely home. Kakashi's home.

"I don't have woman's clothes, especially-" Kakashi started to say but I spoke and cut his sentence in half.

"I can wear your clothes." I said quietly and I watched as Kakashi shuffled out of the living room awkwardly. I looked around. There was nothing to see.

"Here." Kakashi said and dropped a small Anbu uniform-like, short sleeved, t-shirt onto my head. I was still holding my sword. I let go of it and it dropped to the ground with a loud clatter. I took the t-shirt from my head and found it had a mask attached to it.

"It's my old uniform from when I just joined the Anbu. Well, not really. When I was in the third ninja war. When I had a team." Kakashi explained and I could feel the sadness in it. In the clothes and his words.

"Oh," I answered simply despite everything and started to take off my clothes.

"Wa-wait... you should... uh... go somewhere... else... to uh... change..." Kakashi said waving his hands in front of his eyes.

"Right." I answered again and prepared to leave.

"I have... you can... go to my room." He stuttered and I paused, nodded again, and walked away from the main door towards the room Kakashi was pointing to.

It was as lonely as the rest of the house.

I took off my bloody clothes and examined it. It was bloody. There wasn't anything else to it. There was no sadness, no anger, no frustration, no happiness, no nothing. Except for the blood. The purple blood.

"Do you?"

Why did you ask me that? I asked silently as I remember the first thing Madara said to me. Isn't that what you ask yourself every day though? I reminded myself and smiled bitterly.

"Emotions aren't just feelings your mind gives you. If so, everyone has emotions. Emotions are when those feelings mean something to you..." I whispered as I slipped on Kakashi's clothes and pulled the mask over my face. I closed my eyes and felt the loneliness. But I feel other people's feelings when they mean nothing to me. Life means nothing. If life means nothing, then why would emotions matter?

"It gives you a sort of protection... Doesn't it?" I said to Kakashi, who was standing behind me, outside of the closed door. No response came.

"He obviously can't hear me through a door." I muttered and opened the door to face Kakashi. Kakashi widened his eyes and shook his hands in front of him.

"I... uh wasn't peeking at you or anything... You just didn't come out for a long time... and I was uh worried um... uh..." He said and scratched his white, broom-like hair, embarrassed.

"I won't mind." I said and walked back into the living room and flopped onto the only sofa. It creaked slightly under my weight and I laid down, snuggling into it.

"You wore the mask." Kakashi commented from above me and I nodded.

"It does." He said after a while of silence and I pondered what he meant by that.

"What?" I decided to ask him but he never responded and I never asked again. I was asleep.