All my love

crying and cuddling ❤️

Jonah and I arrived at home not to long after. i took my eals of and put them back into the bag that i left downstairs earlier. "are you ok kiara, you seem of ?"~ jonah  "im fine jonah i just feel really tired"~ kiara . . i wish i was feeling fine. i wish i was tired, i dont think i can go to sleep after what happened with callum. i haven't fully registered what has happened and it needs to sink in. i just want to be alone."oh ok....are you hungry?"~jonah. "umm not really"~kiara "please just have something small then you can go to sleep"~jonah "im not really hungry , ive lost my appitite"~kiara "atleast take something up with you and eat it later ?"~jonah "Ok".

i walked into the kitchen and grabbed a snack bar and a small glass of orange juice. not really wanting to talk to anyone I went straight up to my room and placed the food and drink on the bedside table. I took of my dress , folded it and hung it up. grabbing a towel I walked into the bathroom. after the situation ,with he who shall not be named, I felt nasty , filth , disgusting , used and honestly the list goes on. I removed the last of my clothing and got in the shower.

firstly I washed my hair to get the last of the hairspray out. once I was done with my hair I washed my face to get of all my makeup . if there is one thing I love about showers its having them at night. I'm not a big fan of morning showers but I love night showers. they give me a chance to think everything over without being disturbed . I love showers because you can cry and no one will notice. the water is loud enough to block out the sound of your sobs and the water disguises your tears .as I was washing the soap of my body I started to think about everything , from when I first started dating Callum to when he left me.

he told me he loved me....but how many other girls has he said that to.

he told me he doesn't want to leave me....but he left me.

he told me he wouldn't break my heart.....but he done it more than once.

he told me that he can see a future with me....but he didn't tell me he could see a future with those other girls.

he told me he wouldn't cheat....but he cheated.

he told me he would be there for me.... but he left me crying.

everything that has happened with my dad and callum has really made me think. all everyone ever does is lie to me. my mum left me...callum left me...max left me to go back to anna. I'm all alone I have no one. no one cares for me . no one cares about me. no one thought of me. they all just lied.

I slid down the glass door of the shower and leant against it resting my head back so I was looking up at the ceiling as water hit the floor . after holding everything in for so long I just broke. sob after sob after sob. I wouldn't stop...couldn't stop.

why is it always me. why do they all leave me. WHAT DID I EVER DO.

a endless stream of sobs left me. I don't know how long I sat there for. it felt like hours but I knew it was only a few minuets. I brought my knees up to my head and rested my head on them.

am I not good enough. did I do something wrong. I'm useless. I don't deserve anything. I should have gone instead of my mother.

"Kiara?"~jonahs soft voice brought me back to reality.

"Kiara are you ok? please don't ignore me"~Jonah

I ignored him. "Kiara ill knock down this door please come out"~jonah . i knew he would so i got up and wrapped a towel around my waist. i looked in the mirror . i was a mess , no wonder everyone left me. im not jessica im not pretty . my eyes were red and puffy from crying but im sure jonah wouldnt notice. i look ugly as it is.

"jonah im fine"~kiara my voice was dry . "open this door kiara im not going anywhere"~jonah his voice was laced with worry and a bit of anger. knowing he wouldnt leave i opened the door. hi eyes instantly softened but mere seconds later he tensed up again. "youve been crying"~jonah. he said it more to himself as a statement than anything else. could he tell . of course he could tell you idiot.

i couldnt take it anymore i just dropped to the ground and cried even more. im pathetic.. weak. within seconds jonah had picked me up bridal style as i cried into his chest. he carried me out of my room and into his. not once did he complain. instead he wispered soothing words into my ears. things such as :

'your beautiful' 'let it all out' 'your strong' 'its ok to cry' 'everything gets better'

he slowly and carefully placed me down on his bed as if i was a fragile doll. turning around he handed me a large oversized shirt and shorts to put on. i threw them on, they smelt just like him. a mixture of vanilla and black ice. only now did i realise he was already changed. he swapped his trousers for shorts and removed his top.

after he turned of the light he lied down next to me and pulled me into his chest whilst he wrapped his arms securely around me. slowly he ran his fingers throught my hair and his other hand rubbed my baclk. i nuzzled further into his chest as i fell asleep. not before thinking that there is someone who cares about me. jonah cares, jonah will be there for me. jonah wont leave me.

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Aww I actually cried writing this chapter. The worst thing was that i had my computer plugged into my speakers so i could play music at the same time and the most depressing/ sad song came on at the exact moment i was writing kiaras thoughts .❤️❤️❤️
thx to all of you who have been showing loads of love and support by comenting on my chapters and voting. it means alot to me. also for those of you who may be comfused jonah and kiara are not dating. yes jonah did ask kiara out but mr noodle avery decided to disturbe them so jojo never got a answer. dont worry they will date but at the moment they arnt. :)

ima try to speed things up from here because were on chapter 40 not including the welcome chapter and i want this book to have roughly 60-70 chapters. is that to many ??? how many chapters do you think i should have???

anyway bye xxxx

word count = 1182

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