All my love

moving out

I want to move out.

ok so I know its a bit soon and all but I really want to move out. don't get me wrong I love Diana and dad but it just doesn't seem right for me to be here. I feel awkward and unwanted. they're both always talking or flirting and I'm just awkwardly sitting there trying to ignore them but nothing seems to distract me from the sound of their laughter.

as soon as I got back from the day out with Kelly yesterday dad didn't really question me as much as he usually would but he was still worried. I think things have just got to the point where he has realised that im old enough to go out and I will go out at night unlike in England.

my mom always told me that if I feel uncomfortable anywhere I didn't have to stay. so If I feel uncomfortable at home I don't have to stay... Dad and Dianas relationship is still quite new and they need their own space and I need mine.

I had left home to go to that park not far from our house that Max and I discovered on the first few days that we were here. it wasnt dark but it wasnt light outside. no one was here it was completely dead just like the first time.bno one on the swings , slides or playing. completely dead.

there was a soft breeze but it wasnt cold enough for me to run home , grab a jacket and change out of my leggings and oversized shirt. the swing made a sqeeking sound everytime i lazily pushed away from the ground. it was the only sound except for the leaves moving around.

i miss how things were before i caught dad but i know we could never go back to how things were. people change and you cant change them back you just have to move forward and suck it up. there is no going back. dads happy so i should be happy. if moving out makes me happy then he has to be happy for me because i cant just be a part of his puppet show.

"hey" when i looked up i was shoked to see dad infrount of me. well thats not creepy at all, you know how i was just thinking about him and he appears...well this is wattpad sooo.

"hey" i replied back lazily still scraping away the rubber of my shoes while pushing myself.

he took a seat on the vacant seat next to me and started to copy my actions. "thought id find you here. you and max came here once while i was driving past"

"yeah" i never knew he was going past but the memory of max and i was still fresh.

"whats up you've been distant lately"~dad asked also pushing himself.

"I don't know just everything."

"did something happen between you and jonah" wait what. "no no nothing happened between us its just um I don't know how to say this. dad I love you and I always will. you love diana and I understand that its just I feel like a bit of a burden. you two are always together and its like im not their. don't take this the wrong way because I love both of you and I love that your finally happy... I just think its about time I leave you two alone. its just we spent a while away from each other and I know it will be hard to live without you but I know I can handle it. its not that I don't like diana because with time ive grown to love her and your relationship. she is basically another mother but not my mom. I feel like the two of you just need your privacy and I need mine. I just..i don't know how to say this without sounding rude or blunt but dad I think its about time I move out" and breath.

none of us dared to make a noise after my little speech. when I looked over at him he was staring right at me. both of his eyes were watery but he had a understanding smile plastered on his face.

"why didn't you tell me before" dad muttered

"well I didn't know what to say"

instead of replying he stood up and pulled me into a hug. the kind of hug that is just right. its a warm hug and not one that suffocates you. its a hug which tells me that he understands where im coming from.