lost innocence

yes,i love her

In shivaay's room….
He is broken.
Shivaay's pov…..
no I can't see annika with someone else.i'll die at that moment when I see her with someone else.i have fallen in love with her,yes I can confess my feelings but what if annika didn't reciprocate the same feelings towards me,then I will loss a her as well as a good friend also.i don't know when I love her antics,her presence,her crazyness.but she don't want to fall in love,which means these feelings are one sided.yes these feelings are one sided but I will never obtrude my feelings on her.yes I will control my feelings.I was thinking these things,while tears were flowing from my eyes. I never cry,like this but when matter comes to annika I don't know why I feel vulnerable.but now I got my answer I feel vulnerable,because I love her.yes I love her.i want to shout and tell everyone that I love annika.no I can't do this .I should hide my feelings from everyone.well today I can't go out from the room.my eyes are swallowen and red.if I step out from the room everyone will get to know that shivaay singh oberoi cried. I thought about this,I locked my room and switched off my cell phone,I was just thinking and thinking about my feelings.
After some time,I heard some kind of sound before I react there she is standing,looking at me angrily.she broke my window and came from there I stand there dumbfounded while she angrily glares me and goes towards the door and open it.as she opens the door my family ran to me as if attacking me.i don't want to face them if they see my state then they will surely ask me about this,and I don't want to express my feelings till annika reciprocate my feelings.so I suddenly grab the shades which was situated near me and put it on my eyes.they were asking me that why I locked the door?So I made an excuse that I have an eye infection that's why I don't want to came out from my room and this is the only reason I put my shades.they agreed and suggest me not to do such things which made them worried.i also hummed in response.then they left from there except her.she locked the door behind her and came to me.i know that this girl will catch me easily so I tried to ignore her.
Me-you should also go.not seeing her directly.
She cupped my face and remove my shades,I lowered my gaze,I can feel her cold hands giving me a kind of relief .She put her hand on my chin and forced me to share an eye lock with her.she was looking me with full of concerned.
Anni-were you crying?She asked with so much softness.
How can I tell her that yes I was crying,not crying vigorously crying.me-no,I told you all na that I have an eye infection.
I ignored the eye contact.
Anni-when you can't tell lie,then why the hell you even try to do so.
Shiv-i am not lying.
Anni-i know you were crying,shivaay I am worried for you,from yesterday you look disturb.do you have any problem which you are hiding from all of us?
Shiv-no,I am not disturb.he said not making any eye contact to her.
Anni-i know you are disturb and you are hiding something from all of us.but I know this also that if shivaay singh oberoi,my billu is hiding something,so clearly he is doing some good work,which hurt him a lot but he is doing for others.
Shiv(his eyes filled with tears)-you know me very well na.he put his hand on her hand which was cupping his cheeks.
Anni-yes,look shivaay I just want to say that if you doing some good work so please don't hurt yourself.i can't see tears in billu's eyes.she said,with mischievous.
Shiv-hey don't call me that,it's embarrassing.
Anni-what?
Shiv-that word…
Anni-which word?Try to play with him and light his mood.
Shiv-which you said.
Anni-billu…
Shiv-yes that word.i hate that word.
Anni-but why billu ji?Isn't great name billlllluuuuuu ji…..She emphasize the word.
Shiv-annika please yrrr..
Anni-no I will call you only this.and like this they ended with cute pillow fight.now they were laying on the bed breathing heavily and laughing.
Annika mesmerized by looking shivaay laughing like this.how she wish from god to keep him like this always.
Shiv-thanks,breaking annika's thoughts.
Anni-for what?
Shiv-for lifting my mood.
Anni-i can't see my best friend like this,whatever tension you have don't you dare to cry like this okay,she said authortively …
While he nodded and she got up,straight her dress went from there not before pecking his cheek and order him to come down soon.
Shiv's pov-
Now I will not confess my feelings to you until you,yourself didn't say that you love me.i can't afford to loose you and I have a gut feelings that some where in your heart you also love me.he smiled and goes down,wiping his tears…