Jay Rose

Chapter 6: lost or found?

You know the feeling you have when you just want to forget everything little shit that ever happened to you? Maybe because of lost hope. Or maybe because we don't want to face our problems anymore. Or maybe because we are tired of the shitty life we are living. I was feeling all of that.

After the letter I began to feel better or that's what I tell myself everyday. I tried to forget but failed miserably, but that's okay I know I will get through it soon. It's not the feeling of the rejection, it's the feeling of having someone always better than you, by looks maybe? Let's face it Nathalie is hot, way too hot. I, on the other hand am pretty also,more skinny, tall hair and tanned skin. But still that wasn't enough. After a week of gone hope I still didn't find a conclusion of what hurt me the most:is it the feeling of not being enough to him? Or am I hurt because he knew that I am in love with him? Either way he will be in my past soon, but the problem is that he is in my classes too, in all of them.

Two weeks passed, and I tried my best not glance once at him and I eventually succeeded. Something about his looks made me uncomfortable, he wasn't in his mood or his normal look or attitude. Was he sad about what happened, was he miserable? Who am I kidding he probably doesn't even care about happened.

Nathalie and I grew closer, sticking around and not leaving each other, but both of us didn't want to bring him up so we just left it hanging like it never happened. It's not her fault in the end, nor his.

Three weeks passed and I began to feel the world again, without sadness or crying or anything, in the end it wasn't a big deal, not like what will happen.

Sitting in a Tuesday night on my laptop, my phone lights up, first I thought it was Nathalie or some of the girls but i saw the name I was trying so hard to forget. His.