Jay Rose

Chapter 48: round we go

Louis has always been the type of person who don't love to be talked about. His relationship with Laila was very secretive, only his closed ones knew about it. Same thing with me.

No one knew about Louis and I except for our group, few rumors has been spread in the school but none out of them were true. No posting pictures on Instagram with Louis, no silly snaps on Snapchat, no tagging each other's in memes, nothing. He was so keen on keeping it as low key as possible as its starting to bother me so much. Why would he do that? What is he so afraid of?

A matter of fact, he did the same thing with Laila and now, I got what she felt like. Nat once told me that Louis didn't like to be seen infront of anyone with Laila. He knew the word was coming all around school and he didn't want to accept the rumor as reality. One time she was with him in the car and they saw her friends and he demanded her to go down so they can't see her. Smooth.

Mine with him is not fully like that. We may go out but with the whole group and we both sit beside each other, or in school and he won't say a thing.

"You know what lou?" He said on the phone.

"What?" I asked.

"The week we haven't talked to each other, I was planning on telling you to date me in summer. At the lake maybe." So we are not dating then? Interesting.

"Hmmm." I replied.

"You're not happy about it?"

"It's not like that. If we are not dating why is it like that? Why the whole thing happened? Why do we act like we are?"

"Lou we love each other you know that, over what happened we have to take it slow. You just said that you lost your trust and I want that back. Maybe waiting until summer will be a good thing so we could solve every issue between us and you could have our bond back like old days." A big clap for how quick I fall for words.

"Maybe." I replied.

"Don't worry, I won't leave you lou."

"Yeah. Same."

Because they always say trust the actions and not the words, but what if the words are too good to even let it go, too good that it makes you so happy every time you hear it, too good to put a big smile on your face, too good to be true.

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All at once looking upstairs in the same direction, at the same time. Louis and Nathalie were on the stairs going down to us.

"What were you doing on a roof?" Caleb asked them.

"Why do you care?" Louis answered. Really? Because seeing both of you laughing your asses off and then the girl has a fully red face and coming from an empty roof that has no one and you ask why does he care? I wonder why.

Because it was very obvious that he was trying to avoid my eyes at the moment, looking at him and I'm feeling for the first very time, empty. Empty feeling, empty mind and empty heart. Of how many times I'm trying to forget and move on but I feel like every time I take one step further, they take me back 100 steps backwards.

I turned my heels and left the group but I wasn't the first to leave, they did before me. Because seriously I prefer to have a mental breakdown at my very own house rather than at school. Too late to say.

Taking my steps towards the stairs and suddenly I felt like a whole weight has been shifted on my mind, too hard to handle, too heavy to be still. My eyes were too blurry to even be focused on things in front me, my voice was not even heard as there was no energy to even raise my voice, and because it had to be at the same time that my leg won't catch my weight. In a couple of seconds, I was lying in the ground hearing nothing but footsteps behind me.