Jay Rose

Chapter 67: made it till today

I think being hurt has its many levels. One when you really feel something is aching inside your chest when you see something bothering but it fades away when you stop seeing it. Two when you feel your mind stops when you began  to recall every moment of your past. And on level three when you silence your cries in order not to wake anyone up and see how devastated you look. And the list goes on.

People tend to stop talking about their problems because what human beings don't understand is that a broken person doesn't want tips nor a listener, they just want two arms to feel protected and silence. That's why people prefer to be away when they're hurt.

Some suffer from being unable to express their sadness, they just don't have a valid reason but there's always that heavy feeling they always carry around on their chests. It's extremely hard for them to explain to their family and friends why they're sad because they fear being made fun of. Those people suffer from having too many problems to deal with yet at some point they just don't know which problem they are more sad about. By time, it began to be a normal routine for them to be unhappy and it hit them with depression in the end.

It's so sad when you think about how many people ended their lives because they were so full of peoples shit. How a person can hurt another with just a glimpse. I've always agreed to people saying that words can kill because it does. One wrong word can end someone's life and others won't know anything about. They will never remember that on that exact day they told someone something mean, and the other person will hold this word till the end. Once people realize their true values, losing people won't even matter anymore.

Maybe somethings don't get better, but that's okay. We don't get to always fix things and people, we just move on and face other things. We just got to have faith in ourselves and deal with our problems as messy and ugly as they are. But as bad as it gets, we must learn few things about ourselves, is that no matter who much shit we go through, we always survive. We fix what we can and we adapt what we can't. We lost so many people who were trying to deal with their days, but their sadness was so strong that they thought ending their life will be better. Maybe we will forever not be okay, but at least we're always trying every now and then, until we're here and that's worth celebrating too. So here's to everyone, congratulations you made it till today.

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One day left until school starts again and to say that my holiday was the worst is an understatement.

"So not bothered with going tomorrow." I said annoyingly.

"Yeah really. Been used not to seeing some faces around." Anna replied.

"I really hope this year will be great, tired of having another year full of shit." I stated.

"Honestly though I don't think it's going to be that great. Like come on we all know how much we all hate each other in our stupid grade, we will go take our classes and literally give each other two smiles and then act as if we don't know each other, and the cycle goes until we finish the year."

"Damn. What about them?" I asked as she nodded understanding who am I referring with them.

"Look Lana, there's nothing to worry about. Like really if it's not tomorrow, there will come a day when you have to face them. I'm sure none of them will want to open it up. You don't owe them anything so there's nothing you should do. A small smile won't hurt though. Just go with the flow and will pass smooth."

"You think so?" I said.

"I know so." She assured me.

After I had my talk with Anna I was back home getting ready to bed so I can wake up tomorrow to greet Hell.