Jay Rose

Chapter 55: strangers with some memories

Dark. That's all I felt that night. Talking to Kylie and her trying to solve things, and me and Nathalie not standing one another was totally hectic. I knew that it wasn't right for me to continue my journey in-life with people I can't fully trust no more, the feeling of having things behind my back,and hidden emotions.

In a way I felt relieved that I will no longer going to think about it again. No more overthinking, no more crying at night, no more Louis and Nathalie. It's just me.

I kept on thinking about all the things I've been through and how tables turned, I really didn't want it to end like that. What we had either between me and Nathalie or Louis was very special. So heart warming, yet so heartbreaking to end like that.

Louis gave me everything I wanted. The way he talked to me, and every word that screamed "I love you" in it. The way in every phrase it contained all the attention I wanted. The way in class when he sits besides me and whispers I loves you. The way he held my hand when I was in need. He knew the right words I wanted to hear every day and night, he always finds a way to make me come back to hear his words. He loved the way I was really attached to him, me forgetting all about everything and only want him. Having a constant person in your life that whatever he does, he will always come back and find me sitting waiting for him to appear. It wasn't a normal relationship, indeed it was a rollercoaster with no downs. Me seeing that he's perfect in every possible way, yet he still didn't choose me in the end.

They say get you a best friend that you can have an adventure with, and I had that with Nat. We always did everything together, gossip, shopping, sleepovers, fancy restaurant and walking in the streets singing everywhere. We were never separated since we were in preschool, yet after 14 years we did. We used to play around talk about our future boyfriends and how we will let them be best-friends as we are, little did we know that we were going to fall in love with the same person.

I used to read a quote that said "you're not growing up if you're not losing friends." I thought that was meaningless at first, but then I got it. It's all about change. The change over the days and nights when you grew up. The lesson you learn over the years. The people you meet who change your lives. And lastly, the people you love who fucks you over.

The worst part about break ups with boyfriends or best friends, is the memories you keep in your head that will last forever. The moments we shared with one another. The places we went and certainly the inside jokes we made, but it's all gone now.

Tears began to fall and it took a lot of strength not to let it, but I couldn't. I would cry them a river, if only I knew that they would do the same for me. I always had the feeling that Louis wasn't serious about us, or wasn't fully for me, but every time I shut my thoughts down because when i talk to him about it he gets crazy on me, sometimes I think he does that on purpose to begin a fight. In the end, I can't keep dancing with the devil and ask why am I in hell.

The sad part is if I went back in time, I would still love him again. I don't regret him, but sometimes I wish that I left things at hello. That may be a lot hell easier.

"What happened lana?" And I knew I was in hell when mom came in my room seeing me looking like that.

"Everything." I replied with a crack in my voice.

Because all I needed was a hug to bring all my leftovers together. Sadly, I was too broken for Louis that he broke me again afterwards.

"Hey hey, it's alright. Just tell me what happened with you." She said with a hug.

I began to tell my mom everything about what happened, and it wasn't a good idea that she started turning red. If she could, she would literally burn all the house down on Louis.

"That little bitch." She replied.

"I have school tomorrow and I don't want to go. Could you please switch me to another school, or make me live with aunt marlin outside the country."

"Lana, you hold your head high too much because no one will ever make my girl be like that. Even if you have zero friends you will still go to that hell of a school and keep going till you get what you want. I don't care about those little mice who may interrupt your future, but my daughter no one messes with her. You know we could totally fire that boy from school in a second and trust me I won't hesitate on doing that. He was such an idiot by the way."

"Thanks mom, really."

"Don't cry Lana, you're such an amazing person and if they don't see that well it's their problem."

After mom giving me "the talk" she kissed me a goodnight kiss and went to sleep. I will have a long day tomorrow and me staying all night won't solve a thing.

After constantly trying to sleep for about 20 minutes all thanks to my brain for flashing me some of my terrific moments with them, I decided that there was no other way, but to sit and reminisce about it all.

FLASHBACK.

"Lana." He said with a low voice on the phone.

"Yes Louis."

"I don't know what's wrong, but I'm not okay."

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't know I'm just sad and not feeling well." Or got in a fight with Nat.

"Maybe because all the studies we have. You're just pressured about it."

"No not about that, about you guys. Well not you but some people."

"What people?" I asked.

"Them, I just feel like I don't have a close guy best friend. You're literally closer to Caleb than I am."

"Then talk to Caleb more maybe?"

"I don't know really."

"Look Louis, sometimes we don't get what we want and especially with people. You could really give people all the love you have to fulfill them and then you watch them giving that to someone else. That's my boy, called karma."

"What does karma has to do with that?"

"Because karma once said: you'll fall in love with someone who doesn't love you for not loving someone who did."

"But I love you, and you love me."

"It's not always have to do with lovers, friends may be. Look Louis, people especially friends are like stations through a journey. You go through a lot of stations, but sometimes those stations may be good that you feel sad when you leave, though some of them are really bad, either of them you always have the option to leave you actually don't have to stay. And when the journey ends that's when you get to your future, your destination. So either you carry on with some incredible memories, or you just feel disgusted about how some of them were really bad that you forget the good ones. The problem here my boy is that some people just stay in one station thinking that it's their destination, they think that it's the end of their journey not realizing that it's just the beginning."

"I'm so lucky to have you Lana."

"I should be the one who say that." I smiled on the phone.

END OF FLASHBACK.

Because behind every tear on your cheeks, leaves broken pieces, empty heart and a mind full of old memories.

Now I can say that we're just strangers with some memories.