Jay Rose

Chapter 57: a pain for all of us

2 weeks has passed and no sign of each of them. Sometimes getting your hopes up on people will turn you down much more. I was the one wanted to get away from them,yet I wanted them so bad to fight for me. I came to conclusion that I would never put all my hopes on people, letting myself down was the worst of heartbreaks.

Before I could ever respond I found myself dialing Nathalie's number.

"Hey."

"Hey Nathalie."

"How are you doing lana?"

"I am good, how about you?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

"So I wanted to talk to you about something, free to?"

"Yeah sure, go ahead."

"Look Nathalie we've been bestfriends for 14 years and if we wanted our friendship to end like that we should've done it in a more respective way and not the kinda way we've done it."

"Yeah I think so too."

"I'm sorry if any of what I said hurt you."

"Yeah, Look Lana if this is about us going back together then I don't think it's a good idea."

"I know that. What hurts me though is that you didn't even got the idea about why I was acting like that."

"Because you hate me."

"No I don't. I just thought that being around you guys won't make me a happy person."

"And I want to be happy too."

"When you first sent me that paragraph saying you want nothing to do with me and Kylie we fought for Nathalie. I am not saying that I want the same for me. You should really know what I thought but you didn't even care."

"Because you want that to happen, so I got no choice."

"Oh please we all know if you want something you'll do it."

"Well, it was your decision from the beginning."

Thank god the house was full of no one other than me. Zayn was out with mom and dad in his training, Bella is currently in Italy back to her university.

"Still is." I replied back.

And maybe I was saying things just to hide the fact that I really, really do miss her. I missed everything we used to do together. The way we gossiped and mentioning every person we know. The way we always imagined us dating boys. I really did miss being with her.

As we were continuing the call I decided to go downstairs to get myself some water to freshen up a bit.

"You know Lana that's the problem with....."

And that was the last words I heard before I fell down the stairs and hitting my head hard.

————————————

Because everyone fear the need to change. They fear that the things will differ from what they're used to. Having all their life being settled on things as a routine, they fear that one day tables may turn and they will face the changes they were once afraid of. Little did they know that sometimes this routine may be the reason why they're unhappy. It's a cycle going around not having an end. Some fear the feeling of commitment and whether they're really happy with their life being like that or not, they fear that if they talked about what is bothering them, they maylose the only person they ever cared about. Others fear honesty, expressing their feelings to others and they sit on the edge considering what will happen if they got rejected not knowing that they may get the same feeling they have to the other one. Some people fear the need to others, the connection they have with their partners. Those are the kind of people who are so broken, yet so loving at the same time. They got broken once and not ready to do it again. Having a constant battle with the fear of loneliness, and whether they should give it a shot and try it again or not. They usually think that every time they will get broken, so they surround themselves with four walls and call it a life. They are so broken that when someone wants to give them what they deserve, they have no idea how to respond. People see that they have no heart not knowing that those people have the greatest hearts of them all, but it was shattered by a teenage boy wanted to have a good story to tell. Because you'll never understand the damage you did to someone until the same thing is done to you.

—————————-

I opened my eyes finding myself laying on my back on the floor with a heavy head and a pain in my back. No need for screaming because there is still no one in the house. My phone was few meters away from me and I tried my best to move but I failed miserably. He's the first person I wanted to ask for rescue despite everything. And she's the one I needed her comfort when I had none, but the combination of the three of us wasn't an option anymore, it's physically a pain for all of us. Without thinking I found myself dialing his number because that's the only thing I had in mind, I didn't even recognize why was I laying on the floor, and what happened before that?

"Lana?"

"I-I." Words can't come out because I didn't memorize anything. At all.

"Lana are you okay?" And for the first time, I felt his worry through his tone and that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

"Nnoo. I not... happened."

"Lana what the hell happened?" The pain inside my head began to be ten times worse and I couldn't feel anything inside my body. After all talking to Louis won't help me in anything. I was really in pain and needed some help so I cut the line off with Louis and called my parents. Still on the floor.

"Yes Lou?" Mom answered.

"I-I fell." I stuttered.

"What? Lana what happened?"

"I fell. Hard."

"How?"

"Can't remember." And I tried so hard to pronounce it clearly because I know worrying my mom will not be good.

"Give me a minute." She said.

What I am thankful for that wherever she is, she will always find a way to help me even if she can't do a thing.

Seconds later I found the door ringing, and thanks to the designer who made the house half of it glass, I saw that it was my uncle who came to rescue me. He pulled up the key and went straight towards me.

"Lana! god what happened?"

"I in pain." I struggled to say.

"Okay it's going to be just fine, but we have to get you up on the couch."

He placed his hand one on my back and the other under my legs to lift me up, and let's just say the pain got hell a lot worse.

"Nooooooo!" I half screamed.

"I know this may hurt but you're bleeding i have to get you up."

"I can't."

"Please just try one more time." He said.

With a lot of pain caused to me when I was lifted, and my back not feeling it and me not remembering shit about how I fell, i finally made it to the couch.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly. Uncle Jim is one of my favorite uncles as I have four and an aunt. He's really the sweetest person I have ever seen. Most caring, and the most lovable of them all.

"No. So pain."

"It will go away don't worry. Do you remember how you fell?"

I tried so much to think about how did I get myself to fall from all the stairs, but my memory couldn't help. The last thing I remembered was me dialing Nathalie's number. And shit went down to me when I realized, I forgot the whole call with Nathalie.