Jay Rose

Chapter 52: empty paper, empty heart

"Guys my stomach is killing me." Nat said frustratedly.

"Just go get a medicine from somewhere nearby." I replied.

"It's across the street."

"Do you prefer to stay that way?"

"Okay, Louis come with me." Nat said and immediately Louis stood up and went with her.

"Sometimes I think they are in a relationship." And we all turned our heads to face Hannah.

Hannah and char no nothing about anything that had happened and so I don't blame her, but her telling that they look like they are a couple made me think that I am not the only one thinking that way.

Anna, Alexis and Caleb were there too and they didn't say a single thing about it instead they all kept on looking around trying to find a way to avoid the answer.

Moments later they were both back with the biggest smile on their faces, I wonder why.

Louis came and sat in his place beside me without saying a word to me, sometimes I question myself why is he always acting differently around them even though everyone in here knows about what happened except for char and Hannah.

"Guys we really should do something it's getting bored in here." Char said with a frown.

As always Kylie turned her face the moment char spoke. Kylie was never fund of having char around but she knew that she has to accept it. It all started when Anna was crushing on Aiden and then char dated him and that's when Kylie began to have things around char, then it began to grow more every moment char spoke.

"Yeah we are just sitting here doing nothing really." I said to support.

The whole table was quiet for a couple of minutes. Hannah and char were just sitting day dreaming about god knows what. Anna was still having problems with communication with char. Alexis was not having it with char. Alexis was praying that the day will end soon. I was thinking about how much I miss my bed. Caleb was sitting trying to figure out what the hell is our problem. Liam was there too but sitting doing nothing.As for Nathalie and Louis they were just sitting glancing at each other. What a wonderful group we have here.

"Okay guys I have to go home." I stood up.

"What now?" Alexis asked.

"I don't think we are doing something great to make me stay."

"I agree." Char said and that made Kylie a lot of a hell angry.

"Anna coming with me?" I asked.

"Yeah could you drop me off?"

"Sure lets go."

I shook hands with everyone and came on louis and did the quickest hand shake I could ever do. He deserved it. Well a lot from just a hand shake.

"That gathering was a hell." She breathe as soon as we left.

"Full of tension and shit."

"Yeah, I kinda just dont like it anymore."

"Same here."

15 minutes later I was back home in my comfortable zone who I can be ugly in peace.

*what was with the hand shake?"* -louis.

Really boy you wanna know?

*what about it?*-lana

*come on lana, you know what I am talking about. You literally just treated everyone all good and came by me and gave me the face.*-louis

*so you're blaming me now right? You're the one who ignored me the whole time. Sitting beside each other and not talking a single time not even looking at my face.*-lana

*you were so busy talking with Caleb.*-louis

*fuck off louis. You know that's not the issue.*-lana

*then what's the issue lana?*-Louis

You.

*I'll talk to you later Louis,'not up for a fight today.*-lana

*you're the one who started it*-louis

*i am the one who started what? Louis there is nothing. I don't get it really, you are mad about the hand shake but you were okay with us not talking to each other the whole time.*-Lana

*im going to sleep bye.*-Louis

That's the thing I will never understand with Louis. He just wants everything to be in his own way, not realizing that not everyone can be under his words. Not proving to everyone that we are something makes me feel like I wasn't enough for him to even say, afraid maybe? They say that in a relationship you can't be compared to another girl, i say what if he's the one comparing to everyone girl, or one.

What is hurting me the most is the feeling that I can't talk about it, and then people ask why I overthink a lot. Not talking about what is hurting you may hurt even more. You just stay not knowing how to continue and the other one is living their life. How I couldn't express the lack of us because I feel that no one will understand. How the judgmental things that I will face if I told anyone about what I am feeling. What happened in the past, everyone throw it away, except for me. I couldn't let it go. It will always haunt me alive until I get my closure.

I grabbed a paper because if I couldn't tell anyone about it, atleast let it out on a piece of paper. I wanted to write down exactly what I felt, but somehow the paper stayed empty and I couldn't have described it any better.