crucio ↠ billy hargrove

055

Location; Manchester, UK
October 4, 1984 (Day 106)

I was hugging my leather jacket in the hotel room I share with Jon and Richie. I had my own bed and they were both sharing one. I was wrapped around cool blankets and around three pillows. It the middle of the night so the lights were off and they were fast asleep.

I kept my jacket around my arms for safety. It made me feel like I'm connected to Hawkins. My mind wandered towards Billy for a moment.
After spending months out of the coma, I was able to retrieve every memory I had with him to this point.

I remembered meeting him when I was in kindergarten and he was held back a year so he was repeating the same grade. He was a boy with large blue eyes. He was new. He came from another little city near Hawkins. I spent the first week of recess and lunch walking around to see if I could find friends, It was hard because I was apparently smaller than the rest of the kindergarten group. I sat alone on the swings for a few days until Billy walked up to me and said hello.

He was tall for his grade and sooner or later we were best friends. We would run to the swings at the beginning of recess first so the other kids won't get there. Apparently, kids love to not share. We were only school friends up until 5th grade when I went to his house for the first time. It was the first time I saw a glimpse into his personal life and where he spent most of his days at. He told me his mother died at an early age for unknown reasons. And his father became an alcoholic and went into rehab to become sober, so he lived with his paternal grandparents.

In our 5th grade year we had a small group of friends, but that same year two of them moved to another school far away and one of them later hung out with other people and left us both. I spent most of my life living next to the Byers and when I entered middle school I had some classes with Jonathan. But he was a year younger than me along with Nancy. He was in 6th while I was in 7th. It was also the year I dated Steve Harrington.

I liked him because he had the brightest smile and the coolest hair. I remember spending extra minutes in the morning, perfecting my hair and plucking my brows until they became thin brown lines. We only dated for five months but it was also my first relationship with a boy.

I remember thinking I would marry him one day and be a typical family. But he broke up with me over the phone one night. I missed school for two days and it felt like my world shattered in front of me. The only people there to comfort me was Billy and my mother. But I guess now I know who cared more.

I hugged the jacket closer, smelling my own scent and the scent of Vic's room. I felt my soul leave my body and I opened my eyes into a room. It was a room that smelled of harsh cigarettes and a small night light was on. I saw a picture on the wall and it said Metallica...Kill Em All. I recognised the mirror immediately. It was Billy's room. There was a girl with a bikini posted on the wall of his closet. I spun around and saw Billy's room without Billy.

I then heard the door slam. It was rough and loud, I jumped. I saw a large figure snap the cassette on. A hard rock song came up. I glanced at the man, he was wearing bright blue. He had a similar hairstyle to Jon but his hair was shorter and slightly smaller. Jon was a complete bush of hair and sweat.

I saw him through the mirror. It wasn't just a man. It was him. Billy. I opened my mouth but a river of tear rose upon my eyes quickly. It was the first time in four years that I've seen him. He was lighting a cigarette and hopping to the beat of the song.

I quickly felt my nose burn up a little with the amount of energy I was using. My nose was dripping in blood slowly. I couldn't stay here longer. But I wanted to stay here forever. I got closer. He was taller by a few inches, we were the same height for a long time.

He then leaned against the wall, his eyes were closed and a cigarette in between his lips. I quickly noticed the unbuttoned shirt, revealing his defined chest. And two necklaces hanging from his neck. One was a necklace I didn't recognise. The other was...my necklace. A sparkling 'C' was dangling from his neck.

He hasn't forgotten about me.

I then see him slowly disappear from my sight. I wasn't able to do anything. I couldn't bring back the vision. I had to see him again as soon as possible. "Billy..." I whispered, watching his picture fade away.

I woke up to the stillness of the room. My eyes were soaked and my nose was bleeding. I stood up and walked over to the restroom and cleaned off the bloody nose with a tissue.

Billy is at Hawkins. Billy is at Hawkins. He's in Hawkins. That means I can go see him. Since I know where he is now.

I turned the lights off and head back to bed. I wanted to go see him again but I know it'll drain too much energy off me. I can't take a risk that big right now. I want to see him again.

I spent the rest of the night with no sleep and just thoughts filling my head of Billy.

-

Dear Charlotte,

I guess now that I'm at Hawkins, you seem to grow more into my mind each day. I knew that if I went to your house, I wouldn't've been able to find you there. You aren't there.

Where are you? You have to be somewhere in the world. The lab. Another city. You can't possibly be dead. I somehow felt you there when I was in my room earlier today. Maybe it's just me hallucinating. Or there's a ghost living here. Which is most likely true.

Somedays I forget you were just my best friend. We weren't anything more. Just best friends. I knew you didn't like me as more than a friend. But I did. I didn't like you, I loved you. But I guess the feeling is almost gone now because of your disappearance.

I started school and I've been actually skipping for almost an entire month. I have no guts to get in there and see Steve walking around with a different whore every week. But somehow I heard he was with Nancy. But it doesn't really matter to me.

I guess I'll just leave this here and just finish this off.

with love,
Billy.

Billy folded the note and set it aside. But he grabbed it again and reread it. He hated it. He didn't like this feeling. He needed to stop thinking of her. He just did. It was unhealthy for him.

He ripped the note in pieces and threw it in the trash. He was done. He can't be feeling this depressed anymore over someone who is no longer here.

word count; 1272