Theory | lisa ff ✔️

Day 35 - 1F

FLASHBACK
High School

' I'm so happy today, Lalisa.
Can we talk after school? Same place.
I'll be waiting! '

I read again the blue note that Chaeyoung's left inside of my locker before finally pulling the knob and open the metal door of the roof garden.

The class for today has already dismissed and I wonder if she is here. I roamed my gaze at the simple garden and felt the fresh air of summer touched my skin.

If I'll continue this? It will be the first real conversation we will have and it makes me anxious. What if I fail her expectations? What if I can't be a good friend? What if I'll only disappoint her?

I need to get away from here. Run as far as possible before she can see me.

I had too many rejections in my life. I don't think I can still hold them all when this one slips.

"Lalisa?"

I froze. It was all too late.

"Lisa, I'm glad you came. I thought you would ignore me but thank you for being here. I really appreciate it."
She said, her voice speaks honesty and even I'm not looking at her right now? I know she is smiling.

No, Chaeyoung. I was about to runaway from you. You shouldn't be glad of it.

"Lalisa? Are you okay? Are you still not comfortable with me?"
I turned my head to the side and there I saw her looking at me with so much worry.

Why me, Chaeng? You have a lots of friends. Can you just stay away from me? Stop being so nice, I am nothing.

"What do you want, Park Chaeyoung?"
I reply so coldly, as I force myself to walk near her.

"So that I can go home. I still have things to do."
I continued. Her smile faded as she pursed her lips into a thin line.

"No, you don't."

"Lalisa, if you really want someone to care for you or love you? You should stop resisting and let it happen."
I scoffed at her with her determined answer. Go away, Chaeng. I don't need your pity.

"You're saying it like you know me. Why do you care anyway? It's not like this can boost your popularity."
I let out my words like daggers, sharing my misfits with her when she just said she's happy now. What a terrible person you are, Lisa.

"I know you're scared, terrified, and hurting. But you need to stop pushing everyone away from you or else, you'll end up being alone."
I stopped from my tracks. And everything I just said went back to me, scarring my already bleeding heart.

I don't want to be alone.

"I made you come here because I want you to be the first person to know how happy I am now."
She started walking and I couldn't move even if I wanted to...

I don't want to be alone.

"Why me?"
Stop resisting Lisa.

"Because you have never been dishonest of what you feel about me. Unlike them who only befriended me because of my status here in school."
Chaeyoung reaches where I am and now she's just in front me. Her lips slowly formed into a small smile.

"Maybe because I just dislike you."
Stop pushing them away, Lisa.

"No, you don't. You wouldn't waste your time coming here if you do not really like me."
She tilt her head a bit so that she can have a good look on my face because it was hidden by my unruly hair and long bangs.

You don't want to be alone, Lisa.

"Can we just go to the main point? Why I am here?"
I glared at her even if I'm not sure if she can see it because of my thick bangs.

Park Chaeyoung is right. I am scared. I am terrified. I am in pain. Pushing people away is my self defense from hurting more, but still I am not that heartless.

I don't want to be alone—

With a genuine smile, Park Chaeyoung held my hand as she put it on the part where her heart is.

"Lalisa, my chest is hurting so bad. It feels like my heart will come out of my ribcage anytime soon because of this euphoric feeling."
I felt the loud beating of it and my eyes grew wide from that sensation. Park Chaeyoung is so warm, just like how she smile with everyone she loves.

I frowned, because I still don't understand why she's happy.

"What do you mean?"
I focus on her expression and saw how her eyes glint with so much delight.

"I'm pregnant."