Hello And Welcome To My Life

Chapter 1

I was 5 when he left. My whole world changed when he left. Everything changed once he walked through that door and left. Everything came crashing down. I was scared and alone.

My dad left when I was 5 years old or at least around that age.

Everything was fine. My brother and I were playing and having fun and then we play hide n' seek with our dad while mom was cooking dinner to eat that night.

Then before I knew it. Everything changed.

Our dad came late in the night because of his job, and my mother still in college didn't give us the attention we needed. My brother drifted away from me and I was left alone. With no one.

My father walked out of the door kissing my forehead saying he loved me but he had to go. My brother and I tried to stop him, but we were small and he was an adult. There was nothing we could do but cry.

I don't think I fell asleep that night, and if I did I had no dreams. I felt...

Empty. What was I supposed to feel? I was so little and didn't understand it. That day my father left changed my life forever. 

Like I said my mother was in college and she barely ever gave us attention because of her studies. 

I knew they were important, but what about us? We were basically toddlers. We didn't know how to do anything yet. I wasn't even able to hold a butter knife yet.

We loved our parents very much, but they weren't there for me and my brother when we wanted them to love and give us attention. I spent my time watching TV and practicing my ABC's. My generation was born into technology. I was born on April 3, 2002. We were born into the tech.

Yet, I didn't care for it.

What happened to me? As I grew I became more and more different. I read books instead of wondering who won the football game. I studied when everyone else gossiped. I was born into technology. Then Why am I so different from my generation? I still ask myself that question today.

This event changed my life forever. And there was nothing I could have done to stop it or change it. I was alone.

As my mother was doing online classes at home and my dad moving away from us. We depended on my father's checks. My brother was always a grade ahead of me. He was a smart kid. He was and still is the smartest kid in his grade. Yet he changed. I would always go to him if I had a problem. Whether it was homework or I had to ask him a question that randomly came to my mind.

One day I walked up to him. He was sitting on the chair in the living room writing in his journal. I asked him a question. I can't remember it now, but I know as a toddler I was very very smart for my age, and I could do stuff without help. If I didn't know it I would ask my mom or brother. My dad was currently living in a hotel.

That night I asked him a question and he yelled at me.

   " GO AWAY! "

I only yelled back.

   " IT WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION!"

Then I walked to my room and slammed my door. At the time I had no phone or computer or anything technology wise. So I played with my stuffed animals and read my books. That's all I ever did. I played with my toys and daydreamed. 

I daydreamed of another world where everything was right and good.

And I let myself get lost in that world.

Life went on like that. My brother would yell at me, my dad was gone, and my mom was taking college classes.

I felt completely alone. I didn't have any friends at school. I was a loner.

Dad always told me I would be the greatest doctor one day. He was obsessed with the thought of me becoming a doctor. I had no option. I found that I liked drawing stuff and finger painting. My mom bought me some clothes templates and drawings of girls. I would have to draw and design the clothes on the pictures of the girls.

They didn't have any details. It just showed their curves. No boobs, butt, or an area. You know just a regular silhouette. I would draw and design clothes on them and I found myself having fun doing that. 

One night I told dad and mom about my dream to later become a fashion designer. Dad crushed my dreams. My mom only said that the only place you could work at is California and New York. She said you don't want to work either of those places. Their crime rate was too high. They crushed my childish dreams.

I never thought of designing anything ever again. I never even wanted to work with anything clothing wise. At this point, I don't even care what I wear anymore. I never drew on those templates again. I don't know where they are now.

With a father that was gone and a mother that was taking college classes with a brother who doesn't like talking to you, I didn't feel right. What I mean by that is I had a different feeling beside happiness. I was a toddler and I felt loneliness for the first time. I was a child who had no father, a mother who didn't give her attention and a brother who didn't want to talk to me anymore. No kid should go through that.

It's horrible.

It only got worse from there. Life decided to add a few more pawns to the chess board.