Hello And Welcome To My Life

Chapter 46

Is it bad that I am envious of my cousins? 

Like no joke I am jealous of my cousins but at the same time, I was raised differently than they were.

My cousin Allie has been in pageants since she was a teenager and she has won a lot and has even gone to photoshoots and stuff. Whenever I go to her house she doesn't really talk to me. Used to when we were younger we loved seeing each other and always talked and now she doesn't even say a word to me. 

All around her house you'll see pictures of her at her pageants in expensive dresses and looking gorgeous. Crowns are in the living room along with a huge picture that was taken of her at a photo shoot.

I'm gonna be honest every time I look at the photo it makes me feel inferior. Like I compare myself to the photo and Allie herself. I'm just envious about how she looks and how popular she is in her school. You know? 

Allie is just super pretty and is very popular. She was raised by my uncle and aunt and my father says they spoiled her and that's how we are different. He says I was raised differently than her because I wasn't spoiled and grew up the hard way because I was the youngest sibling and I didn't have my dad around all the time.

Then there is my cousin Elish. Elish is pretty and she is very popular at her school. She says she hangs around popular people and because of that people treat her as popular. She is always on her phone snapchatting someone or talking with friends from her church and...

I don't understand. 

I have 2 cousins that are very beautiful and popular. Both care about clothes, makeup, and themselves. Allie is older than me by a year and Elish is younger than me by 2 years. So, I'm in the middle of them kind of. 

So, how did I get the way I am?

I am perfectly fine not being popular. Honestly, I'm fine without being popular because the popular poeple in my grade suck. Literally Wheezey and Rain want to beat one of them up. Which I'm fine with because he is a jerk to everyone and he doesn't care about anything but himself. So, I don't want to be popular. I love the friends I've got and less drama. Not any actually so I'm good.

But,

They are both super pretty and that bothers me a little. Allie got beauty and is competing in fashion shows and pageants. Elish is a talented guitarest and singer. She performs at her church and sometimes in pubilc events. Then there's me. I don't know what I can do.

I guess I'm a great speaker but I don't know. I'm just envious that my cousins are very talented and beautiful and it just makes me feel very inferior. At times I don't like going to their houses. 

One: Allie's photo makes me feel bad about myself

Two: Elish always laughs at the smallest thing no matter what it is

Three: If I stated a fact and talked in big words like usual they wouldn't understand

Four: I was completely different from both of them

I grew being taught that a penny was worth $1,000 dollars. I know the value of a penny, and I worked for what I have. Through smarts and hard work I get what I deserve, but they don't really have to. Elish and Allie really don't care about money. Allie's place is so expensive and then you look at the furniture and the clothes and you can see how expensive everything is. Elish doesn't really care about the money. As long as she gets what she orders she doesn't really care.

I work in the dirt and soil while they work with beauty and pageants. 

I don't understand it at all. I hate going to their houses because it makes me feel inferior.