Hello And Welcome To My Life

Chapter 21

Have you ever felt forgotten?

Has anyone ever forgotten you?

I have.

I was forgotten and no one would remember me if you asked. 

So something you guys don't know about me is that I repeated 2nd grade. So I repeated 2nd grade. So I would be a junior right now if I didn't repeat.

So, My entire class moved up while I stayed back. They forgot about me. I was fine with repeating 2nd grade though. I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't repeat. But I will never forget the feeling of being forgotten.

If you ask anyone who is a junior they won't know who I am. They forgot completely about me. My friends never talked to me again and I never saw my bullies again.

Now I just pass them in the halls remembering everything while they forgot. 

Am I that forgettable? Am I that forgettable for a whole junior class to forget me? Probably.

Now you're probably all thinking,

   " You are just being dramatic. "

If that's how this seems to you then okay. I'm not going to apologize for telling the truth. But, I didn't make you read this story, and I didn't make you do anything. So this is your own fault. You can judge me all you want, but I didn't make you do anything. 

Call me what ever you want. I'll just take it.

But I won't write this book telling lies.

Back to the topic. I feel like I am easily forgotten. Now it does look like I'm just attention seeking, but I'm not. Also you'll notice I used ' feel ' instead of felt. So, that only means one thing. I still feel like I can easily be forgotten. That's right. I'm not attention seeking I just notice how much people forget while I remember.

Kind of like a book I read. Called " The Forgetting ". It's basically where this one girl remembers everything while her whole town forgets everything every few years.

The only difference is that Life goes on and they never stop forgetting unless someone slaps them to remember.

I believe I am forgettable. 

It's something I've come to accept. It's something I've come to terms with. The only thing is I've come to terms with it to much.

How you come to terms with it to much is you start believing your friends are going to forget about you. I even believe in the current group chat that I have that if I let myself leave from the chat then they won't care. If I stopped talking to them, they won't care. 

You just think they'll forget you.

That's bad. 

I'm trying my best to get that feeling to go away, and to be happy like when I was a little girl. My friends are helping me though. They make me happy and they help make me happy. 

I said this before in a previous chapter I believe. I'm trying to make my life better. 

My life has gotten better.

My relationship with my brother is getting healed.

I have amazing people who care about me.

But the only thing I need to fix is myself. I have some personal issues I need to fix. 

For example:

I want to believe in myself more

I want to be more confident

I want to like myself

I want to love myself

I want to appreciate myself

I want to make myself feel better and smile more. I'm done wearing a fake smile. I'm done being the fake person I am. The whole reason I hid the real me was because I knew no one would like me. Well, if you don't like me then go away.

I'm done being fake.

If you don't like it?

Deal with it.