Hello And Welcome To My Life

Chapter 35

I feel calm. I don't know why but I feel calm. I've been feeling calm lately and I have just felt stress-free a little bit. School is almost over I know and that may be the reason but I don't care.

I don't care what the reason is. I'm glad for it. I don't often feel calm and relaxed, but I do for once. Yesterday we just in Spanish learned about plural words with our new teacher.

INTERMISSION

My old teacher quit.

She was on probation for some reason. I don't know the reason, but I have heard a lot of rumors about it. I don't know which one is true but oh well. 

So she was on probation for two weeks and during those two weeks, she said she quit. 

She was new as well. Fresh out of college. She had only been here for a year and a half. 

Yet, she quit. We lost a Spanish teacher, drama teacher, English teacher, and volleyball coach. 

INTERMISSION OVER

Then 2nd we worked outside and then 3rd block we took EOC ( End Of Course exam )

Then slept in 4th block. 5th we just worked on notes and stuff so it was easy.

The only thing I have changed about my days is that I've been walking and working out more. My mom has a treadmill I've been walking on every day.

I've heard that walking relieves stress and anxiety.

I wanted to be healthier too. 

I noticed that I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I know sounds very cliche, but it's true. Every time I went into the bathroom to do anything I would see myself in the mirror and I literally looked at the worst parts of me. 

I hated looking at myself in the mirror. 

I always thought about how I use to be. Used to I was skinny. I had fun and I was healthy. Later I started noticing changes. I was still healthy but my body was getting bigger in some places.I never really cared about it. Then a few weeks ago I started noticing my appearance in pictures and in mirrors. Then YouTubers would be talking about how they went to the gym and have been getting skinnier and more in shape. Then I started having thoughts like,

   ' Do people see me like this? '

   ' Are my thighs that big? '

That kind of stuff. So I decided to take it upon myself to get healthier or more in shape.

So I started walking on the treadmill more and doing sit-ups. I've been feeling less anxiety and less stress. So, that's good. 

I've also been eating healthier. At one point I thought that I should just stop eating and then I had another thought thinking that isn't the right way to do it. I need to do it right if I want the right results.

So I started eating better. I don't eat a lot, but that's usually what I do.

The best thing is that with this plan I'm getting better at handling my bad thoughts. I'm doing better at that. I haven't been putting myself as down as I usually do. I've been bringing myself up and working hard. I'm still trying to work hard on getting more in shape.

My friend Erica and I used to have gym together and she would be my trainer. When ever I had to do something she would always encourage me to do more.

Example: Sit-ups

She would hold my feet down as I did them. She would count how many I did and when I laid down she would always say,

   " Come one Laura. You can do five more! "

   " Only 2 more and you've got 100. "

   " You can make it. "

   " What's 5 more? "

   " You're already doing better than most of the people in the class. "

She would cheer me on. When ever I do sit-ups now I hear her voice in my head and I can hear her cheering me on and shouting those same things at me. She wasn't a gym/athletic person, but she helped me. 

But I've been happier lately. I've been making choices that could burn or build bridges, but I think I'm making the right ones. 

I'm honestly just glad that my bad tendencys are going away. Richard, Rain, and Wheezey have been helping me get better to. They have been telling me I'm this and that and it's helped a little each time they've said it. 

It makes me happy to have them as my friends. ^u^

I've just been happier and stress-free. My bad thoughts are going away slowly and I'm getting better at controlling my emotions.

Can't wait to see myself when I have full control.