Watch N' Learn 3

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Alyssa

My mind has just been crazy. They coded Ryan a few days ago and I'm scared to leave his side. The doctors think that I should put him on hospice and make him comfortable because he isn't making any significant changes. I just couldn't agree to that because I feel that God has the last say so. It's true, I had not seen any changes in him at all but I couldn't bring myself to just let him go. He's the love of my life and we have a baby on the way.

I was still so surprised at all of the information that I received from his brother about his childhood and what he went through. My heart breaks for him and I'm very grateful that I was able to grow never having to go without the bare necessities.

I stared at his body as he lay in the bed not moving one bit. He's been here for at least three weeks now and has not changed at all. I'm worried but I'm trying to remain strong and keep my faith but I'm beginning to question a lot more than I should. I just want to make everything right with him and I'm willing to put my life on pause for him because I know that he would do the same.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw his eyelids move a bit before he slowly opened them. I placed my hands over my mouth.

This isn't happening, it can't be.

I just stared at him and he just stared at me, not moving at all. I don't know if I was just seeing things because I can't remember the last time that I got some decent sleep. I'm pretty sure that he was looking at me.

"Babe..." I said touching his face.

I wasn't sure if he could talk or not but he didn't try. He looked frustrated after a few minutes.

"You were shot almost a month ago and you had surgery and this is the first time you've been awake since then. If you can't talk right now, I understand. You may not feel anything either because they told me you may never walk again..." I told him.

He closed his eyes.

"I love you so much Ryan." I said kissing his cheek multiple times.

I wasn't sure why he wasn't saying anything but I could tell that he was trying to figure everything out.

He opened his eyes and just stared at me.

"I'm glad you're awake Ryan. I've been so stressed out and I know I shouldn't be because I'm pregnant with our child. I've just been so worried about you. I will never leave your side." I continued talking to him, and he never took his eyes off of me as I did so.

I just wish I could figure out what he was thinking at the moment. I wanted him to talk to me and tell me what he is feeling right now. A tear rolled down his cheek and he closed his eyes.

"It's going to be okay Ryan, I promise. This is all just temporary babe." I said wiping his eye.

I called for the nurse and the doctor to come whenever they had time so that someone could come look at him and tell me and him what is going on. I know he's worried about so many things and I want him to be at ease right now even though the situation isn't the best.