My Thoughts

Dreaming

Something grabs the sides of my head and I open my eyes. It's her. My love. She's shouting and screaming. I can't hear her. She moves her hands from my face and tries to remove the rope that clasps my neck. She's struggling. I don't understand why she wants to stop this. Why she needs to stop me ending one massive problem in this world. It's just taking something that bothers her out of her mind. She won't have to worry. She tugs it and tried to undo the knot at the back. All I can hear is the music blasting through my ears. I want to listen to what I enjoy when I die. I don't want to hear my thoughts and yet they can still overpower the music. They overpower everything. I can still see her in front of me. Shouting at me. Struggling to untie the thing that's going to bring me out of this hell of a life. Tears tumbling from her eyelids. I put my hand on her cheek and she freezes for a second. I slowly move my hand across her cheek. Her skin is so soft. Her face is so beautiful. She is beautiful. She's trying to save me despite what I've done to her. Time and time again lying and getting angry. She's trying to save me from myself. I move my hands from her and to my neck. I untie the rope and her face fills with joy. I remove the headphones from my head and still silence. I'm confused. She's shouting with joy and she jumps into my arms crying with happiness yet. Nothing. I'm smiling acting like I can hear her. I don't want her to worry. But silence.

Air rushes into my lungs and I sit up. I'm in bed... Tears fill my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I check my phone and nothing is different. I look around,  nothing different. I must've been dreaming.