My Thoughts

Dreams

I'm sat in some chair. Some purple chair with brown arms. It's comfortable but still I'm on edge. My hoodie blends into the chair as the colour matches. My black dirty jeans hug my stiff legs. My hands are clamped together and I'm staring down at the ground. I don't know where I am or what I'm doing here. The room I'm in is empty except from this chair. And I'm just sat here. There's one door and that's it. The walls are creme and there's a full grey carpet that holds it all together. The door creaks open and I see a girl.

I can't remember her fully all I remember is she was wearing a blue shirt and had short brown hair that held her face. I remember seeing her and a sense of shock filling me. That's what I remember.

She looks at me and signals for me to go to her, still stood in the doorway. I slowly rise to my feet and my legs feel weak. I wait a moment to feel a little stronger and then move toward her slowly, cautious of who she is. Once she's in-front of me she falls onto me and hugs me. A tight embrace that could suffocate me if I wasn't as tall as I am, as she is quite short. She begins to speak to me. And I'm not listening or processing what she's saying as I'm almost deafened by the embrace I'm trapped in. My eyes are welled up with tears and then as I tune in I hear what she says, and it scares me.

'I love you'

My breath becomes shaky. My heart begins to pound my chest, trying to escape and run from her words and never look back. I look down at her and she looks up at me. And for I moment I smile I think. I think she takes it as a mutual feeling as she turns and leaves with her face beaming a smile that no frown could bring down. And then I blink.

Suddenly the lights are all different types of colours and the silent room has become hectic. I turn and there's crowds of people chattering and drinking with cups filled with what only I can assume is alcohol. I look at my hand and I have a cup myself, I drop it, wipe my hand on my hoodie and I roll up my sleeves.

Music blasts and I can't hear a single word of the lyrics but the bass from those drums shake my body as I begin to move. I weave my way through those crowds and eventually I find this clearing. Now this girl from before is standing there. Wearing the same clothes from before and so am I. I see her as she raises her cup to her lips and an energy tingles in my fingers and as I clasp my hands into fists it climbs my arms. This demon inside me spreads up past my chest and into my face as my eyes narrow and it forces out a tear as I slips from my eye as the bass shakes me once again. The energy moves down to my legs and I begin to move. My arm swipes up to my face and I wipe the tear from my cheek and I begin to turn and walk out.

I shove through the seemingly endless crowd until I find the door. My hand grips the handle and it turns and I swing it open. I stand before a silent road. No cars, the street lights are off. It's desolate. I walk down the steps that lead to the hell I was formerly in. I stare down the road. I feel a tug on my sleeve and I turn. She's there, wiping the tears slipping from her eyelids. The demon that filled me and took control drops out my body and i slip my arms around her. She rests her head on my chest and I relax for a moment. She speaks again. Again I'm not listening. Everything muffles and blurs. And slowly it turns to black.

I gasp for air and I fling up. I was wrapped up in my blue blanket given to me by the most recent one. My arms rise and grip onto my hair. I glance around the room and tears well up in my eyes and bundle up. They begin dropping at incredible rates and my breathing gets uneven and quick. My body goes into panic and I begin to pull on my hair trying to get myself out of this panicked state. The dark room begins to consume me as I live in a state of constant greed for that affection. I fall back down to my pillow and the tears continue to slip from my eyes. I need to stop these dreams.