My Thoughts

Through the gate

I sit legs crossed at the gate. The metal barred gate that stretches for miles on end. I sit staring at the beautiful mansion inside this fence. I stare up and down and slowly reach toward the gate. My fingers run down the rusty metal that protects the household inside. I pull back and put my hand back in my lap. The doors of the house slowly open and a small girl walks out. Slowly she inches toward me and eventually reaches the opposite side of the gate. She reaches and touches the metal the same way I did just moments before. She then sits down, crosses her legs and stares at me.

I tilt my head at the girl. She looks my age, with  smooth skin and flowing brown hair. She sits relaxed although vigilant. I stare at her for a moment, admiring the features of this mysterious beauty. She squints her eyes at me and I snap back to reality and my cheeks warm and then a smile arises onto my face. I stare at the gate, slide my fingers across the metal bars and pull them back again. She copies me again. Interesting. She moves back for a moment then slowly rises to her feet, waves at me and retreats back into the mansion behind her. The door slowly creaks shut and blocks me from her.

I come back a few days later, to the gate guarding the home. Again I run my hands down the gate, except this time I clasp it and give it a pull. The mansion door creeks open and she scuttles down the path. She sits and reaches through the gates, gazed into my eyes and I reach and touch her hand. While our eyes lock so do our hands for a moment then we both retract our hands. She stands and opens the gates. My eyes stare at the metal beast subsiding to her command. Her lips stretch into a sweet smile and I walk inside the gates. She brings me toward the mansion. Inside the mansion my eyes must be fooling me as the squeaky clean home leaves me speechless. She grabs my hand right as she leads me through her wonderland of a home. Everything about it I love, though she seems less than keen. Eventually she leads me out, up to the gate and then the beast subsides for her again.

This comforting routine plays out for a few months, every day I approach and she comes to me. The gates open and we explore her home. This regime keeps me going through dark and stormy nights as I get cover inside with this mysterious girl that is perfect to me.

One day I come to the gate and she does not leave her mansion. Not when I clasp the gate or wait hours on end. By the time the sun falls over the hills the door creaks open. Slowly she stumbles down the path and the gate opens. I rush to her as she's stood crying. No words exchanged, I simply hold her and she rests her head on my chest. She looks up at me with her small smile and rushes back to the house.

The day after as I approach the mansion I see the roof of the once glorious building lit up in the most demonic flames. Fighting each other on the roof beating the others all claiming to be the kill on the hill. The door slams open and she sprints down the path the gate slams open and she grabs onto me. The desperate clasp that one can never forget. The squeeze of an injured attempting to look for help. She then closes the gate behind her and begins to leave the burning building. I stare at it as she leaves. I can't leave it. Quickly I scale the fence and bolt down the narrow path. I run in attempting to salvage every piece of sentimental items that remain in the horror show of a house.

Eventually the fires die down and and I leave the house. I slowly shamble down the path. Steadily moving toward the gate. When I reach it I drop to my knees and sit. Half of my body singed and ruined. I watch her approach the gate on the other side. She comes over and sits and stares at me. I've been ruined by this torturous house yet I don't want to leave. She strokes the iron bars and I copy her. She smiles, I smile. We both smile and stare at each other for a moment. I reach through the gate to hold her for a moment, even for a second. And she reaches to match my action but then she second guesses herself. She pulls back her hand and turns, she stumbles up to her feet and she stares at me for a moment. A tear runs down her face and then she turns and runs away from the gate. I drop my head onto the iron bars, tears streaming down my face. I'm sorry.