My Thoughts

One with the crazies

For your well being. Run. Leave me behind and go to the next devil that'll make you laugh and break your neck. I spit dirty words that you probably can't handle. My hands get violent when my sins crawl over me. For now your lucky. I drop the headphones over my head and let it soak in the  anger. A tear will run. Maybe two if I really care. I've been doing this for years. I'm telling you I'll break. I'm telling you im not as good as you see me. Your looking at what you want me to be. Not who I really am. I'll do what I can for now. But when he takes the reigns I can't do much. You need to lose me. Before i make you.

My knuckles scrape the wall as I take it out on the brick instead of them. Blood drips from my hand from the bricks bite. Tears are dropping down from my eyes to my chin. I drop to the floor and let the darkness engulf me. I can't take it. I can't take these thoughts. I can't take the these freaks. I'm one of them yet I feel so singled out.

I close the door and pull the headphones off my head. I punch the wall and collapse onto my bed. Welcome to the panic room. A dark voice whispers. Its the same voice. I Message everyone I can. I try and communicate through my only way I can. This is the place my darkest fears attack me and it's where I feel the safest. I'm in his clutches. I'm in a tea party with the mad hatter. He's talking me into being one with him.

All the best people are crazy!

The normals they scare me!

They'll love you more crazy!

They'll have to tell the psychiatrist something is wrong!

I'm sat here with the mad hatter. Signing a contract for my sanity that's left to be handed in and destroyed. I'm suddenly filled with these thoughts. Paint all the roses red. Hang the normals, decorate the forest with there rotting corpses. I'm best alone. I should stitch my initials into my arms. Gauge out my eyes so I have to look at you with my hands.

You tell me I'm gone. You tell me I'm crazy. You better run. You know your crazy. Your not a normal you know it. Your still calling me psycho. It's why I like you. You dream from your lies. I let him take over when I'm with you. You love it. You act scared it fuels him. With me you don't walk, you run. You hate being safe and I love being the one you go to when your scared just to get freaked out even more.

You tell the therapist it's me. Its my fault. You get me taken and made me run back to you where you fall back in love with the madness. You hold the hand that cuts your skin. You are insane. Your not a normal. What did I tell you. Though you still call me nuts. Call me crazy. This was the best deal from the mad hatter.