On Sunday, Gerard heads off to Mikey’s for a family lunch with their mother. Gerard sits at the far end of the table next to Juliet, ignoring the boring conversations going on between Alicia, Mikey and their mom because he knows they’re talking about Mikey’s much more interesting life or how Alicia’s cooking is amazing.
Gerard chooses to spend the rest of the afternoon staring blankly at his phone, trying to decide if he should call Frank and apologize for bailing out on him in the middle of the night or if he should wait for Frank to call him. They do have each other’s numbers now and the pressure of having to call is not just on his shoulders anymore.
After one serving of pot roast and a copious dessert that vaguely tastes of lemon and too much sugar, Gerard notices Alicia and Mikey exchanging conniving looks before turning to him. Alicia elbows Mikey in the ribs and Gerard knows they’re onto him. They are most definitely arguing about who should be on Gerard duty and Gerard doesn’t want them to worry about him.
His only way out is to try and pretend he is enjoying his meal and his afternoon, not that he is feeling like the world’s biggest screw up, stuck behind a table without any possibility of escaping the eyes scrutinizing him. He glances at his phone only a few more times, trying not to raise any suspicion regarding his emotional state.
When Gerard leaves, finally free to overthink his mistakes, he is proud of the fact that he managed to maintain the illusion that he was a happy individual for a whole afternoon. Mikey doesn’t look or sound worried when he says his goodbyes, Alicia is her usual kind self and gives him the leftovers before giving him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. They all seem to buy his act. All but Juliet. She watches him leave, frowning and waving slowly at him from the window. Gerard is sure she made him out.
It’s Sunday night when Gerard makes his mind up that calling Frank would be blowing things way out of proportion. He lies in bed, staring at the curtains, imagining the starry skies beyond and the empty streets below. Gerard keeps repeating to himself that sex is just sex, trying to convince himself that he should be glad he got laid by someone he liked and even maybe kind of loved and go about his life as usual. Frank is probably over it already. People have sex all the time and they don’t make a big fuss about it.
When Gerard’s alarm clock rings, it’s another Monday that starts, the last of November. Soon, there will be snow in the streets, and then it will be Christmas break. More alone time with himself, more time to think about stupid things and more family dinners where he will have to pretend everything in his life is just puppies, rainbows and daisies.
The day goes by as slowly as usual but Gerard tries to stay busy. He sketches a squid monster but hates everything about it. He crumples the paper and spends the rest of the morning doubting his artistic talents and hating on the world.
Frank isn’t there to pick up Giuseppe after school that day. He isn’t there on Tuesday either but Gerard doesn’t leave his office anyway. Calling to check up on him would be stupid and weak. Asking Giuseppe about his father would be an even stupider idea. Besides, Frank probably doesn’t need Gerard to involve Giuseppe in the middle of their problems. He’s not even sure there’s really a problem. Everything Gerard does feels stupid. Another stupid idea in a long line of stupid ideas would be to go over to Frank’s house. The last time he did, he ended up coming in his pants after 5 seconds flat and he probably made Frank uncomfortable.
Gerard is pretty sure he screwed every chance he had to see Frank again.
*
Giuseppe is back in class though and he doesn’t seem affected by his father’s poor taste in men. He doesn’t seem different than usual either. His babysitter is the one showing up at the school gate every night of the week and there is still no sign of Frank.
