I had always wondered what Gerard might do without me. And I, without him.
Yes, we were both married. He to Lindsey and myself to Alicia, both of whom were fantastic women. And neither of us were anywhere near lonely or without close friends. Yet, I still wondered.
Gerard and I had always been as close as two brothers could be. We were each other's best friends. We understood each other more than anyone else could.
Sometimes, I worried that if something should happen to Gerard, all the other people in my life might not matter anymore -- that Gerard would leave a void that I couldn't replace with all of them combined.
I wondered if Gerard thought about the same thing.
And yes, I am aware that we both have two best friends that we call our "other" brothers just the same. We insist to every interviewer, every fan, and even to ourselves that it's the same bond that Gerard and I shared. We regarded Frank and Ray to be the same level of brother, to have the same relationship.
Yet, I always felt that that was a bit of a lie.
I didn't think, at the very least, that Frank or Ray would ever lose as much as I would, emotionally, if Gerard were to just disappear one day.
But one night, at drinking gathering held by friends, I may have been proven wrong.
It was the night of the fire.
It had started from the first floor, while myself, Frank, Ray, and Gerard were so fortunately hanging around the 12th floor. We were with friends from a mix of settings -- from work to previous parties, to the random people we just meet on the street. We were all buzzed with booze, and our thoughts were far from potential dangers.
The sprinklers didn't even go off right away. Another guest even managed to mention that they could smell something burning before the alarms had a chance to go off.
Then a piercing siren noise exploded throughout the penthouse, originating from the inside and penetrating onto the outside. I screamed as I heard it, it's sudden arrival shocking me. Following three repetitive siren screeches came a mechanical imitation of a man's voice, reciting the words "Fire, evacuate immediately. Fire, evacuate immediately."
A martini in my hand, I could, at first, barely comprehend what the words meant. Once I collected myself, I merely took another sip, and made to continue with what I was saying. The others seemed confused -- I think many of them thought it might be only a drill. But Gerard, ever paranoid, sprung into action immediately.
From his position seated on a leather couch, he bolted to the gigantic windows behind him. He pressed his face up against the glass, then his hands. I glanced at him, and he appeared to be squinting into the darkness, trying to see.
He backed away a moment later, clapped his hands for attention, and then bellowed into the room, "We have to go!"
Some didn't pay attention, and some just looked more nervous, but still hesitant to move. Only myself, Frank, and Ray broke away from our conversations to approach him about what was happening -- all of us knowing that Gerard does not screw around about this type of thing.
I barely reached him before the sprinklers went off.
And then, finally -- panic.
The resounding shrieks of the girls (and some boys) who were suddenly drenched in water almost drowned out the noise of the siren. A wave of movement overwhelmed the room, as everyone started heading for the door. It was only then that we all noticed the trickles of smoke that seeped in through the top and bottom cracks of the doorway.
