“For the last time, Frank, I’m not going to let you kick me in the balls!”
“But it’s for the sake of our friendship, Gerard.”
“No!”
Frank just sat at the edge of Gerard’s bed, crossed his arms over his chest and pouted while his best friend sat at the other end with a copy of Doom Patrol in his lap.
Gerard rolled his eyes, “Seriously, Frankie, it’s not even that big of a deal.”
Frank’s jaw dropped and he gasped, “Not that big of a deal?! It’s so unfair. You’ve seen me cry, like, a billion times, and I’ve never seen you cry once.”
“I just don’t cry in front of people. Give it a break,” Gerard explained, his eyes scanning his comic, “Fuck, I don’t even think my mom has seen me cry.”
“That’s so unnatural. I can‘t get over how unnatural that is.”
“It’s not unnatural.”
“Are you incapable of emotions?”
“Frank.”
“Are you a robot?!”
“Cut it out!” Gerard whined, “Besides, what kind of friend are you? Are you saying you want me to cry? You want me to be so miserable that I start crying my eyes out in front of you?”
“Yes!”
“You suck.”
“No, that‘s not what I meant,” Frank said, crawling over and jumping in Gerard’s lap. Gerard gave up on reading and tossed his comic book to the side, “I don’t want you to be sad. I just think it’s only fair that I should get to see you cry when you’ve seen me cry. Seriously. I feel that this friendship is never going to be complete until I see you cry.”
“Oh, my god,” Gerard groaned, hitting Frank up the side of the head, “You‘re so fucking weird.”
“So are you.”
“Not the point.”
“Totally the point. You can’t get over how much it’s the point.”
“You suck.”
“Your mom.”
“Frank!” gaped Gerard, before dramatically hitting his head against the headboard of his bed, “Okay, I’ve got a proposition for you. If you can promise me you’ll never say anything like that again, then, the next time I’m crying, you’ll be the first to know.”
Frank squinted his eyes at him, “Promise?”
“Pinky promise,” Gerard said, “That shit is legit.”
“Okay,” Frank smiled, before locking pinkies with his best friend.
“Good, now get the fuck off me, I have to get out of here. So do you.” Gerard said, gently pushing Frank off his lap.
“Aww,” Frank whined, “Where are you going? I wanted to hang out more.”
“Me and Kayla are going out tonight,” Gerard said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “And I need to get ready, so piss off?”
“Some best friend you are,” Frank mumbled, grabbing his bag, “Ditching me for your stupid girlfriend.”
Frank didn’t like Kayla, and his best friend was well aware. Gerard had been going out with her for 6 months, but she just didn’t seem like his type. Too girly, too fake, too blonde, too tan. Frank had a theory that if he kept telling her how good it looked, slowly but surely, she would turn into an oompa loompa. Then she would be taken away to Willy Wonka’s factory forever and never bother Frank or Gerard again. It wasn’t that Frank was jealous, he just thinks Gerard could do better. So much better.
