I sat up in bed with a loud scream.My breathing was terribly heavy and uneven.I was covered in a thin sheet of sweat.I felt cold,but my skin was burning.I felt like I was on fire,yet the cool air was freezing me.I frantically looked around.
"Frankie?" came a beautiful voice.It was frantic and scared.
I felt warm arms slip around my hips and pull me.I immediately felt warm,smooth,dry skin against my burning,sweating body.I felt dry,cool chest against mine.My breathing slowed.My heart slowed and matched the one that was just through a few layers of flesh from my own.
"Shh.What's wrong,baby? Calm down..."
I exhaled.Inhaled.Exhaled.Inhaled.Exhaled.
I felt the sweat slowly start to disappear.
"It...'s just a dream.Only a dream." I answered and reminded myself,as well.My voice was merely a whisper.
"Oh Frankie.Not again.Shh.I'm here.You're safe.I'm safe."
"I-I know.I'm sorry."
"Don't be.It's fine baby."
He was sitting up next to me.I was turned to him as he held my waist and caressed the moist skin of my back.My chin was on his shoulder.My arms hanging around his neck.Bare skin was on bare skin.His hand raised and caressed my hair.He ran his spidery fingers through the long,brown ,wet strands.
"Do you want to tell me about it?"
"I never want to think about it again."
I tried to erase the horrible pictures from my mind.Just months ago,Gerard had been in a terrible accident.He's lucky he's alive.I'm lucky he's alive.We were in a comic book store.Then the place was robbed.They had knives.They were heading toward the register and Gerard was in line.I was standing with him.They got Gerard in his side with a knife.There was blood everywhere.His unbearably beautiful face was twisted into a grimace of agony.I couldn't help him.Someone called the police.He was screaming.The painful sounds were pouring from his perfect mouth.Each scream was a knife in my heart.If that hadn't been the most horrible moment in my life,the one a few moments following would have been.
I ran with the people that were pulling the love of my life away into an ambulance.They wouldn't let me in with him.
"Fa-F-RANKIE!" he managed to screech,with all of his might.
"That's me! I'm Frank! Let me come!"
"Family only.Are you family?"
"No but I-"
The door shut in my face and drove away.
"I'm going to be..."
I shuddered trying to erase the thoughts from my mind.Gerard had healed and he was fine now.It was me.I'm the one who had to take therapy for it.I don't go anywhere with Gerard without letting him out of my sight.I don't go anywhere and let go of him for one second.I hold onto his hand or ride his back or something.I always have to be touching him in some way.For reassurance that he is still there.I never let him out of my way.I even follow him to the bathroom when we are in public places.I don't like being in crowded areas with him.I don't like letting him go out alone.I rarely do.If I lost him,all the therapy in the world couldn't fix me.I would be a broken heart walking.If it weren't for all the times of me promising Gerard I would never kill myself,I would die with him.I know I'm starting to get to him.I know that he has to be getting irritated with me,because we are basically glued together.He is just so heartbreakingly beautiful.He is just so gorgeous and perfect.He is an angel.I have become terribly obsessed with him.I have to be with him.I just can't...let him go.
