Call of the witch (Tom and Zac fanfic)

Owning up to her mistake

*Soleil*
I walk directly to the sink with the fish, trying to find a way to start this conversation, a way to save myself for a serious telling of. Siri is sitting alone at the table, plucking dry flowers of their stems.

"I caught some fish for dinner". I try and look at Siri. "Well kind of".

Siri doesn't answer or look up from her work. And for every second I feel worse and worse about what I did.

"Grab some rubber gloves and come over here, I could use a hand with this". She finally say.

I breathe a sigh of relief and quickly open a cabinet pulling out some rubber gloves. Then I go to sit down, pulling them on.

"Watch out you don't breathe in to much of the flowers; they are quite poisonous". Siri picks up one of the plants, showing me how to pull of the dry purple flowers and put them in a bowl.

"What are you using this for ?" I try to start a conversation. Maybe things will get better if we talk about the herbs.

"The plant is called nordic aconite. It is very poisonous and will cause instant death if you eat it. It has been used both as poison for arrows and to poison food and beverages through time". She answers.

"What are we doing with it, if it is that poisonous ?" I ask.

"We are making a very potent mixture of the flowers, that we put in glass ampoules. If you hit right, the poison can stop a hamram. It won't kill it, but it will slow it down and confuse it enough for us to put it down". Siri is pointing at a small pile of wrinkled stuff. "The root there I use for my arthritis pains. It is also very poisonous, but in small amounts it is a potent pain reliever".

"Siri I am sorry that I cursed at you and.. Well for what I did". I finally manage to get out.

"I know my dear". She continues to pluck the flowers. From her silence I know I have to do better.

"Tjalfe has already handed me an earful. I don't know what happened. I Got that hard hit in my stomach and I.. Well I kind of lost it". I feel the tears pressing behind my eyes and I gasp slightly not to cry.

"Would you feel better if I yell at you ? Tell you how wrong that was and that you have to be more careful ?" Siri stops her work and look at me.

"Yeah". I say, looking down.

"But I have already told you that the wind is directly linked to Your temper and that you have to learn to control it. That really didn't help. Did it ?" I shake my head, can't she just yell so we can move on ? "Sol, this isn't a summer camp. If you can't or won't do what is needed you are free to go home. If you can't follow my directions I have no use for you anyway. All of our lives depend on you doing what you are told". Siri's voice is cold, not angry or blaming.

The words tear at my heart and I have tears in my eyes when I look up. "I truly wish I had never done that. All those dead animals and the trees". I whisper. "I get it if you want me to leave".

"It isn't a question about what we want. We have to be able to trust that you are were we tell you to be and do what we tell you to do". Siri's worried eyes makes me swallow. I have been so egotistical. Will I ever be able to do things right ? Her voice turns soft. "When that is said, you are under a lot of pressure my dear. You have just discovered a whole World others are spared to ever know about".

"I feel like all I do I whining and crying". I sniffle. "And feel sorry for myself".

"You are exhausted my dear. It is totally comprehensible that you are sensitive. The rest of us wasn't much better when we received the calling. I had extensive training and was slowly guided to be ready for my first sitting out and I got just at scared as you when I Saw my first hamram. I was close to giving up my calling". Siri admits. "Everything has been different with you. Because of the dark one we had to speed up Your training. And we don't have the powers you do, so we have to find out how to deal with a Jötnar. This is why we agreed to give you some extra space, but I Think we can agree that it has been used now right ?"