Chapter Forty Six

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Chapter Forty Six – Liam

Liam sighs and buries his nose in Zayn's hair, trying to organize his chaotic thoughts, he wants to tell Zayn what's bothering him, wants to make him understand what's going on in his mind, but he's scared. All this time Liam has been blaming Eleanor and his management for him not coming out, and well they don't think it's a good idea, part of it is Liam himself isn't sure he's ready for that, not just yet, and he's scared Zayn will be upset with him when he tells him. “Li? You okay?” Zayn asks, voice muffled in Liam's shirt, Liam sighs pressing a kiss to Zayn's head, and pulling his boyfriend out of his chest so he can look into his eyes while he tells him, “I'm okay, yeah” he murmurs, “but I need to tell you something, Zee, and I'm worried how you'll react” he mutters, frowning when Zayn's eyebrows furrow and his mouth turns down into a frown. “Y-you aren't leaving me a-are you?” Zayn asks nervously and Liam quickly shakes his head, “no, no baby, I'm not leaving you, never leaving you” he reassures and Zayn nods, “then tell me, Li. It can't be that bad” he encourages. Liam takes a deep breath, “I want so badly to be with you all the time Zayn , and I want my fans and everyone else to know the real me, to know the me that's with you. And I know I told you that Eleanor and the rest of management are making me stay in the closet, and hide who I am, but it's not just them” Liam starts, watching Zayn for his reactions. Zayn furrows his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything so Liam continues, “it's me Zayn, I'm not sure I'm ready for everyone to know that truth about me. I want to tell my fans, I do I hate hiding things from them, Hell half of them are pretty sure of it already, but I'm scared of everyone else, I'm scared of the rude remarks I'll get from everyone. I'm scared of the hate, the bullying, I can't be bullied the way I was in school again. And I'm sorry Zayn I hate hiding you, and I swear Lexie was Eleanor's idea, not mine, but I needed you to know the truth. But I'm also scared that you'll get sick of me, get tired of waiting for me to be ready, and that you'll leave, and I don't think I can handle that Zayn” he says shakily eyes never leaving Zayn's face as he does.

Liam chews his lip after his confession, Zayn's quiet, no doubt gathering his thoughts, and Liam doesn't want to interrupt him, wants to give him the time he needs to process everything Liam just spilled. Liam himself feels better after getting everything off his chest, he feels lighter and knows Louis was right when he told him (although it was drunkenly) to just tell Zayn everything. “Liam?” Zayn asks quietly, snapping Liam back into the present moment, “why didn't you tell me all this sooner?” he asks and Liam shrugs, he was scared that's all, he's surprised he told Zayn now if he's being honest with himself. Liam watches as Zayn nods and chews on his bottom lip, before he takes a deep breath, “Liam, baby it's alright, all of it. I understand. I struggled coming out to Harry, Niall and my parents, I can't imagine what it would be like to come out to the whole world. So I get it, I'm still not overly thrilled with the Lexie situation, but there's nothing we can do about that, but if you're not ready to tell the world Li, then don't. Just know that when you are ready I'll be right there with you I'm not leaving you now, I've told you before you're stuck with me until you order me away. I could never be upset with you for being scared, especially not about this. Just know Liam that I won't let anyone hurt you again, I'll never completely know what it was like for you in school but I can promise you I'll be there to help you through anything that comes your way now” Zayn states firmly. Liam feels himself smiling and can't help himself when he surges forward and presses his lips firmly to Zayn's in a hungry, and passionate kiss.

Zayn pulls away first, and Liam whines attempting to chase after him with his lips, but Zayn ducks away from him. Liam pouts, “Zeeee” he whines and Zayn laughs, “you ok now?” he asks and Liam nods because he definitely is feeling better about everything now that it's out in the open. Zayn's watching him carefully, and Liam thinks for a second that he couldn't be luckier than he is in this moment, “I think you need to know Zayn, that I'll never be ordering you away, so I guess we're stuck with each other” he starts and Zayn grins leaning down to kiss him gently. Liam kisses back and almost forgets the rest of what he was going to say. He pulls away after a minute and looks at Zayn who's lips are slightly puffy and red from all their kissing, “you should also know that I think I'll be ready to tell everyone soon. I just need to figure out a few things first” Liam explains watching as Zayn nods, “take all the time you need Li, I mean it, I'll be waiting whenever you're ready” he murmurs. Liam grins, pressing a kiss to Zayn's jaw, “thank you Zayn” he mumbles, Zayn nods smiling at him. “So I think we need to take advantage of this place, and all these stars” Zayn says suddenly, pushing against Liam's chest, making him fall so he's laying on his back looking up at the sky. Liam's not objecting as Zayn is now sitting on top of him, he knows Zayn wants him to be stargazing with him, but he's much happier staring at the gorgeous raven haired boy sitting on top of him. Zayn rolls off of Liam laying with his head on Liam's chest, and although Liam much preferred it before, he's not complaining about this position either.

Liam takes in his surroundings again, and makes himself a mental note to make sure he (actually Louis) gets front row tickets for Ruth's friend as this place couldn't be anymore perfect. He chuckles to himself when he realizes that Zayn has fallen asleep, with his head over Liam's heart, and Liam can't help but to grin at the thought of his steady heartbeat being Zayn's lullaby. He wraps one arm tightly around Zayn's waist pulling the smaller boy closer into his side, and uses his other hand to start stroking his fingers through Zayn's silky black hair. “Liam” Zayn mumbles in his sleep, and Liam wonders for a moment whether it's in response to his touch or whether he's dreaming about him. Liam hopes its the second option, although the first is good too, he knows Zayn fills his every thought waking or sleeping, and he can only he hope it's the same for Zayn with him. Zayn shifts in his sleep throwing one of his legs over Liam's so he's draped across him, Liam smirks and attempts to shift without waking him because, Zayn has unknowingly and sleepily caused himself to rub against Liam. Liam knows he should wake Zayn up and take him home, but a smaller selfish part of Liam wants to just lay here with Zayn forever. Zayn shifts again and his knee rubs against Liam, sending an electric current running through him, Liam wraps Zayn tighter in his arms and presses a kiss to the sleeping boy's hair. They haven't gone further than making out, a little light touching, Liam's unsure whether Zayn's ready to go farther with him, unsure if he's ready himself honestly. But Liam is sure that if Zayn continues with what he's unknowingly doing, Liam's going to need to take him home just so he can deal with himself and fix the slight problem forming in his pants.

Liam groans in frustration and shakes Zayn awake, Zayn lifts his head slightly eyes unfocused as he looks at Liam “wha?” he asks sleepily and Liam chuckles. “Zayn, love you fell asleep, and well, um” Liam bites his lip and gestures downwards to where Zayn's leg is still rubbing against him. Zayn blushes lightly and moves so he's no longer draped over Liam, just laying beside him, “sorry, Li” he mumbles and Liam shakes his head laughing as he sits up, “hey, it's no problem at all, I just needed you to not...be...doing...that anymore” he murmurs biting his lip. Zayn laughs sitting up as well, “I didn't mean to Li...I'm sorry” he says biting his lip, Liam shakes his head, “I'm not mad, love I just didn't know how far you wanted to take things just yet, and I didn't want you to feel pressured. Zayn suddenly smirks at him diving forward and crashing his lips onto his, “Zee, wha?” he asks and Zayn shakes his head, pushing forward so their lips connect once again, Liam moans slightly when Zayn pushes his tongue into his mouth and moves so he's straddling Liam's lap. Liam pushes on Zayn's chest forcing him to pull back, he looks at Liam his head cocking to the side in confusion, and Liam notes his pupils blown wide with lust “Zayn, baby slow down a second” Liam pants, Zayn whines but sits back slightly in response. “What are you doing exactly?” Liam asks slowly Zayn furrows his eyebrows “I thought I was fooling around, under the stars with my perfect, charming, gorgeous boyfriend, who's leaving me to go back on tour in a few days” Zayn says, pressing a kiss to Liam's mouth after every adjective. Liam smiles and pulls Zayn back in closer, “you're sure?” he asks cocking an eyebrow, Zayn bites his lip and nods, “I mean not like sex or anything, I don't think either of us is prepared for that, right now, but we can always do other stuff” Zayn says, emphasizing his point by grinding his hips down onto Liam. Liam groans and bucks his hips up to meet Zayn's before growling, low and seductively in his throat, and wrapping his arms tightly around Zayn, pulling him down and rolling so he's now on top of Zayn. 

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A/N: Suprise?!
I'm home from work sick today and I already had this written so I edited these two chapters and decided to give them to you guys. 
I hope you enjoy them and thank you for all the reads, comments and votes, it means the world to me and I love every single one of you. 
xoxo 

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