Unforgotten Love - Book 2

First Set Of Talks

LENA POV

This entire past week has been mentally, emotionally and physically draining, and laying awake last night reading page after page of Will's diary had shown me more than I've known about my ex-husband than the entire time we were married. I had no idea he loved to write, nor did I really understand how deep his emotions really were including the respect he had developed for Stef over the past six months. I definitely didn't know about Cinnamon nor his friend in Philly where he had gone to stay right after he left us. How could I? He had basically cut me out emotionally once he came back from Vietnam. Sure we had our good times and a couple of memories, but for the majority of the time, he was distant and sad.

The truth was I wasn't upset that Stef hadn't told me she had found Will. In fact, I was relieved that she had, for if there was anyone who would have ever gotten through to him, it would have been her. And from what I had read, she really had gotten through at the end.

December 15, 1979

Stef really has been getting on me about cleaning myself up and finding my kids and being the father I was meant to be. Truth is, she has a point. I've been spending my energy in watching out for Cinnamon instead of my own two kids. It was just easier to pretend I had no one but her. Taking care of this kid felt easier somehow, kinda like I didn't have to hide the loser I feel that I am. I let everyone down after I was injured in Nam. I really hurt Lena the most. That girl didn't deserve me. She deserved someone who wasn't damaged goods. And I thought if I left her, she could finally be free to be with the one she really loved. I know how much she loved Stef. But here's the thing, Stef has been busting my balls, and I guess as the snow flies, I should consider everything she's laid out for me. So, maybe I'll talk to Cinnamon tomorrow about figuring out our next move. I should find my way to California and see if she'll go with me. I just need to be near my kids. They need a father.

My heart shattered as I read that, and I know that Stef has to be broken beyond belief. It sounded as if they were close. Here I'd been a mess and in my own world unaware that someone else, Stef, was dying inside as well. After our day was spent trying to figure out what to do with Cinnamon, I am even more exhausted even if I did take a nap, yet I am antsy inside my soul. I feel as if I just need to do something like hop in a cab to Stef's place and thank her. Even if she did tell me to never show up at her place at such ridiculous hours, I just can't listen as I find myself hailing a cab and giving a generous tip to the driver as I am now standing in front of her building.

Her neighborhood hasn't changed and neither my fear of it, but that is not a concern right now. As I walk my way up the familiar stairwell that was surprisingly empty, I softly knocked on her door. It's a little before midnight and as I softly knock, I hear the locks open.

"Man, Lena, you love coming at all hours, huh?" Stef jokes as I blush. Her blonde hair is tousled, and I can't tell if she's been crying or not as she, too, looks tired.

"I'm sorry I just..."

"Just teasing. Come in. You ok?"

"I just wanted to see you before this tomorrow afternoon, actually. Can we talk?" I am nervous as all get out, but I want to have this conversation with her.

"Sure! I can make coffee if you'd like. Decaf, of course."

"That sounds nice," I sit on her couch and look around the neatly decorated decor from the recent holiday as Stef heads to her little kitchen to start a pot of the promised coffee. I fold and unfold my hands several times as I wait, and as she enters the room again, I turn to look at her. God, when had we become such hateful enemies? And why? Tears spring to my eyes as I stand and look her in the eyes.