Avengers/MCU Oneshots

Heartache (Wanda Maximoff)

Not everyone lived Happily Ever After post Endgame. The angst is back. This one goes to scarlettromanof! TW: Self-harm. Remember, self harm is bad. It IS NOT a healthy coping mechanism, and I don't condone it.

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Wanda navigated through the empty main room of the tower. She basically lived there alone, much like Natasha had for the past five years. There was some coming and going, but not much.

The snap had been reversed nearly two weeks ago, and people were still celebrating. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it made Wanda's heart ache. She felt like a terrible person for disliking the rejoice full time everyone was experiencing. She was just being selfish, she told herself. Not everyone lost everything. She should be happy!

But she wasn't. She had lost so much. She even found herself wishing that she was still dead. Life didn't have anything for her. Her parents were dead, her brother was dead, the love of her life was dead. She had nothing left for her anymore.

The only Avengers she had been close to were Vision, Natasha, Steve, and Clint. Now Vision was dead. Nat was dead. Steve was gone, back in the past. Clint was back with his family, enjoying their reunion, and most likely grieving Nat. He was her only one left, and he hadn't even cared enough to check on her again after he went home.

Wanda laid down on her bed, bundling herself in the blankets. She had to push through this. She always did. But she always had a reason to push through. Did she really now? No family, no friends, no love, no need to redeem herself. What was her purpose anymore?

She felt out of it, like she was there, but she wasn't at the same time. She realized after a few minutes that her arm was stinging. She looked down to see her arm had been scratched to a red-pink. She was taken aback. The last time she had done that was after Pietro died. Steve had flipped out when he caught her cutting a couple weeks after she started. Months of therapy had ensued. She was not about to repeat that experience.

'But there won't be therapy this time if you get don't get caught.' The words rang in her head with truth. 'Remember how good it feels? There won't be repercussions this time!' She had to admit that it sounded good. Like, really good. She found herself in the bathroom with a razor in her hand. 'Am I sure I want to do this?' She questioned. She answered the question by dragging the razor across her arm, sighing at the sweet feeling of relief.

-Two months later-

"What the f*** do you think you're doing?!"

Wanda froze.

"I asked you a question. Don't make me repeat myself," Clint said sternly. He walked over, wrestling the razor out of the young woman's grip. She didn't fight back. She just stood there, lethargic. "Wanda, what brought this on? This isn't the strong girl that I know."

Wanda didn't reply. She just continued staring into the oblivion.

"Wanda, what's wrong? Why are you doing this? You know I'll keep asking until you tell me."

Wanda still didn't answer him. He grabbed her shoulders, roughly shaking her. "KID! Get over yourself and answer me!"

Wanda snapped to attention. "I'm sorry, Clint," She murmured.

"You're d*** right you're sorry. What made you do this again?"

Wanda shook her head. She couldn't tell him. It was too-

"It's not too stupid, kid. Answer me."

Wanda looked at him, teary eyed. "How come everyone except for me gets to be happy? I just wanna be happy! But I can't be! Everyone leaves me in some way or another! Why can't I be happy like every else, Clint, why?! What did I do wrong?!" She burst into sobs.

Clint wrapped his arms around her. "You did nothing wrong, honey. You're just really unlucky. I went through this same loss after the snap. I know the turmoil that it caused. But it's not your fault." He stroked her hair. "How about you come home with me? Laura, Lila, Cooper, Nathaniel and I, we'll be your new family. You have no reason to hate yourself. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy."

"What if the universe doesn't want me to be?"

"Then f*** the universe." He smiled at her, and she tightened her grip on him.

"Will Laura be ok with this?"

"Laura thinks that you're amazing. You'll be like our daughter now. I know Lila will like having an older sister, especially one as cool as you."

Wanda smiled at him. "Alright."

That night, Wanda was awoken in the middle of the night. She looked around, trying to find out what had woken her. She saw a little boy standing in the doorway. His blond curls were askew, and he looked sleepy.

"What's up, Nathaniel?" She asked him.

"I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you? I don't wanna wake up Mommy and Daddy."

"Of course, buddy." She moved over pulling the blankets back. The little boy climbed in next to her. He grabbed her arm, tilting his head to the side.

"What happened to your arm, Wandy? It's covered in band-aids!"

"I hurt myself, Nate."

"How? Did you fall off of your bike? Cooper did that yesterday and scraped his elbow and his knee!"

Wanda couldn't help but smile at his innocence. Had she ever been like that? It had been a long time. There had been violence off and on in Sokovia as long as she could remember. This kid had been murdered and brought back to life. How was he so cheery? "I cut myself."

"Owie! I cut myself on a pair of scissors once. Mommy said not to run with them, but I didn't listen."

"You learned a lesson then, didn't you?"

Nathaniel nodded. He snuggled up against her. "Daddy said that my middle name, Pietro, was your brother's name. What was he like?"

Wanda's smile dropped. "He was amazing. He was brave, and smart, and funny. He was the coolest brother ever."

"Even cooler than Cooper?" Nathaniel asked in disbelief.

"Even cooler than Cooper."

"No way!" He shook his head. "Did he have superpowers like you?"

"Yeah. He had superspeed."

"Like the Flash?!"

"Yeah."

"Cool." The little boy suddenly went quiet. Wanda looked down, and realized that he had fallen asleep. She smiled slightly, wrapping her arm around him, falling asleep.